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Ask Annie: Escorts for Threesomes with Couples – Advice for Newbies

Hey all! Thanks so much for continuing to send questions! I’m trying to answer them in the order in which I received them, but I do tend to forget about things that I’ve had on the back burner for awhile (which is why I keep a fire extinguisher next to my stove). So, if you’ve sent me a question and I haven’t gotten to it yet, give me a nudge. Mention it in the comments below, or email me! And now, for a question about newbie couples in search of an escort for a threesome.

Hi Annie, I love your blog. I was wondering what your opinion is on newbie couples. Do you think it would be advisable for the woman to have a little alone time first, to feel things out. Or do you think the couple should just jump in together and enjoy the experience together from the start? Thank you in advance for your response.

Nick

First, glad you like my blog! I aim to not only show a little of my personality, but to help educate clients (newbies and experienced clients alike) and up-and-coming (heh) escorts about this lifestyle/biz so that they can make informed decisions in order to have the best and safest experience possible.

As for my opinion on newbie couples: I love them! I love helping couples explore their sexual fantasies in healthy, honest, safe ways. Being invited to be intimate with a couple, as long as both partners are informed and eager, is something I find highly erotic. I am honored to help both individuals explore their sexuality, their adventurousness, their fantasies, and the special bond they share–which will hopefully be even more sexually charged after I’ve left. I love knowing that the excitement continues long after I’m gone–or so I’ve been told by couples I’ve seen in the past.

And I think that’s the case because I prioritize pre-date communication and planning. Anytime a couple adds a third party to the mix, it’s a delicate situation, and I understand and respect that. That’s why I think it’s important to discuss expectations and boundaries beforehand.

Threesome with an Escort: Couple with female escort
A couple in NOLA sees me pretty regularly. They are awesome. They’re 100% clear on boundaries and expectations–they even send me stick figure drawings of what they’re looking forward to beforehand, LOL

Boundaries

When I’m meeting with a client solo, expectations are generally pretty clear and straightforward, so it’s usually not mandatory that we discuss them beforehand (and especially not before we’re face-to-face: please don’t discuss these things via email or phone). But boundaries can be a bit…blurry. Any client who has met with me knows that I like to make sure I’m clear on boundaries. That’s why, before things get too hot and heavy, I’ll ask about boundaries.

By “boundaries,” I mean “activities in which you 100% do NOT want to engage,” or “activities that will 100% turn you off if I initiate them.” Pretty straightforward. I like to be clear on this because, even though I value communication during sex, I don’t want a client to be in a situation where he feels uncomfortable or awkward in the moment; I’d like to avoid that situation if possible.

For pretty obvious reasons, this kind of clarity is especially important with couples.

First and foremost: Please don’t “surprise” your partner unless you’re SURE he/she will appreciate and enjoy the surprise! I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again (and you’d think it would be obvious), but it bears repeating. Please be 100% sure your partner wants this.

Pre-Escort Communication: Discuss Boundaries and Expectations With Your Significant Other

In order to provide a satisfying experience for the couple, I need to be really, really clear on what the two of you are comfortable with–and what you’re not. So, discuss these things beforehand, and discuss them in detail. Who can do what with whom? Can the escort kiss the wife/girlfriend? Can the boyfriend/husband penetrate the escort? Can the escort penetrate the wife with a strap-on? Can she penetrate the husband/boyfriend with a strap-on? Can she kiss the husband/boyfriend? I’m serious. Specifics. Details. Write ’em down, even.

A couple having a threesome with a female escort, illustrated with stick figures: a guy with a massive cock, and two girls waiting to blow him.
#RelationshipGoals
This is also the time to discuss any fantasies you have that you’d like to try out. If the two of you are interested enough in a threesome that you’ve started the process of setting up a date with an escort, then you’ve undoubtedly fantasized about a third at some point in the past. Specifically, what activities (in the context of a threesome) do you fantasize about? Come on, you know what I mean. What gets you off when you’re watching threesome porn and flying solo? What gets the two of you going when you’re watching threesome porn together? What kind of things do you imagine when you’re bored at work and feeling horny? Be honest. This is your opportunity to make those things happen.

Before a date with a Male/Female Couple: Private Chat With the Escort

If I’m meeting with a man and woman who are in a long term relationship (marriage, long-term boyfriend and girlfriend, etc.), I prefer to chat with the “better half” (the lovely lady!) privately via phone at some point before the appointment so that she and I can go over certain specifics about what should and should not happen during our time together. This helps to avoid any complications or dissatisfaction with our rendezvous, and it helps me get a good idea of how to please both partners.

In these conversations, we go over boundaries and expectations (which the two of you have discussed, right?), ideas, questions, things the two of you may or may not want to explore, etc. I want this to be a positive experience for everyone involved–one that will fulfill expectations without crossing any lines. And obviously it should be relaxed and fun, and that’s easier to accomplish if we’re all on the same page.

But a secondary purpose of these chats is for me to establish a camaraderie with her and to reassure her that we’re on the same team. I want to dispel any worries she has about my motives or my intentions. I am not after anyone’s man. I am not going to try to upstage you. I will NOT do anything with him that you’re not prepared for and enthusiastic about. You will NEVER feel “left out.” Because, honestly, you (the wife/girlfriend) are the most important person here, as far as I’m concerned (Sorry, guys. But you’ll thank me later when this experience isn’t a source of regret.)

So, to answer your question, Nick: I think it’s important that the escort and the “better half” have time to chat privately in advance–several days in advance, preferably.

I do not, however, think it’s especially helpful for the escort and the wife/girlfriend to meet privately in person. A lot of the success of this kind of meeting depends on not just sexual boundaries, but mental/social ones, too. Compartmentalization is key. The escort is someone you saw that night, for that predetermined amount of time, in that hotel room, in exchange for that specific amount of money. Your memory of her is confined to that time and place. She doesn’t exist in your life outside of that setting. This experience belongs to you and your partner, and you should enter (gawd, I have the sense of humor of a teenage boy) and exit that experience together. To me, meeting beforehand privately with the wife/girlfriend makes things too…I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. It just feels wrong. If I’m meeting with a couple, I want you to experience every bit of me (that you choose to experience) at the same time, together. Does that make sense? Maybe not…but it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry, so it’ll have to suffice for now, lol.

My rates for couples are listed here.

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Love the Ones You’re With – Bra Sizes Meme, Improved

Today I saw this stupid post going around facebook:

Stupid meme about boobs and bra sizes
Stupid meme about boobs and bra sizes

Look, I know it’s supposed to be funny, but damn, the shit that passes for “funny” nowadays…ugh. Did you ACTUALLY laugh out loud at that?? I’m guessing not, because there’s nothing particularly witty or clever or comical about it. It’s just a list of cup sizes with corresponding unimaginative, mostly negative descriptors, and the “punchline” is a reference to a 25-year-old infomercial for a safety device marketed to disabled and/or geriatric individuals.

And, as of right now, it’s been “shared” 230,989 times. 230,989!!! That means 230,989 people thought this was funny enough to repost so that all their family and friends and coworkers and ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, etc. could enjoy it. Wow.

But it’s kind of thought-provoking, too. None of the descriptors are really positive.

Stupid Bra Sizes Meme Exposed

  • The first two (“A – Almost boobs” and “B – barely boobs”) are decidedly negative.

  • The third (“C – can’t complain”) might as well just say “meh, they don’t make me puke.”

  • The next two (“D – dang” and “DD – double dang”) might be positive, and they’re probably meant to be read as a positive assessment of the bosoms in question. But it’s still not exactly praise–I mean, I said “dang” the last time I saw a knocked-down stoplight on Canal Street. I was impressed, sure, but not in the “Wow, that’s amazing, and I can’t wait to bury my face in it!!!” way that I would be upon seeing an attractive set of D or DD breasts (or, for that matter, an attractive set of breasts of any size), but in the “Whoa, that’s shocking, and I hope no one got hurt” way.

  • The next (“E – Enormous”) is neither positive nor negative.

  • Then comes the inevitably disparaging judgement (“F – fake”) of women who choose to surgically enhance their breasts in accordance with what society tells us we SHOULD look like (never forget: we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t, ladies).

  • On the other hand, women with breasts just one size larger than F are encouraged to undergo major surgery with a significant recovery period (“G – get a reduction”).  What a demanding perfectionist this list-maker must be.

  • And last but not least, women with Hs are the “punchline” of the joke. Har de har har.

Who makes this stuff up, and who thinks it’s funny? People who hate boobs? Young boys who are angry that no woman in her right mind will let him see her boobs? Women who are…angry at their boobs for some reason?

But but but but….BOOBS ARE GREAT!!! Boobs are fun! Boobs of all sizes are a splendorous gift of wonder to those allowed the privilege of seeing/touching/enjoying them.

I get that it’s always hilarious to mock women’s bodies (this is sarcasm, ladies and gentlemen), but I personally think women’s bodies (mine especially!) make life a hell of a lot more pleasurable. Well, for women and their partners, anyway, heh. I suppose strictly-gay men aren’t all that thrilled by boobs, but who knows, maybe some of them occasionally get kinky like that.

So, I made up my own list:

Bra Sizes Meme, Improved

  • AA – Adorable & Adequate!
  • A – Alluring
  • B – Bodacious (tatas)
  • C – Captivating
  • D – Deluxe
  • DD – Double Deluxe
  • E – Exceptional
  • F – Fffffffffffffffffffffff…those are impressive
  • G – Gifted
  • H – Hallelujah

I’m gonna make a quick and dirty meme and see if even ONE person shares it.

If I could get 1/10th of the “shares” as that ridiculously unfunny original one did, I swear I would legally change my name to Boobie Boobzanne McBooberson-O’Boobs (I’m apparently of Irish/Scottish descent).

I love boobs - bra sizes meme improved = AA - Adorable & Adequate! A - Alluring B - Bodacious (tatas) C - Captivating D - Deluxe DD - Double Deluxe E - Exceptional F - Fffffffffffffffffffffff...those are impressive G - Gifted H - Hallelujah
I love boobs – “Bra Sizes” meme improved

That said, bra sizes are so arbitrary anyway. Sometimes I’m a 34C, sometimes a 32C (once even a D!), etc. And guess what size this “bra” is??

Size Small. And I assure you, my boobs are not.

(OK so yes, I was wearing it as a tube top this summer, but it’s marketed as a “bra.”)

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My Screening Practices Explained – Part 1: Just Google Me, Baby!

**This is Part 1 of a three-part series explaining some of the most common screening methods escorts, providers, and other adult entertainers use to ensure safety and discretion with clients.**

I didn’t want to have to do this, but…


I’m often contacted by potential clients who seem to be a bit perplexed by my screening practices. I know that they may seem odd to some, but as I’ve said elsewhere, this is a necessary process. Now, you’ve probably either already noticed–or have been directed to–my list of accepted screening methods on my FAQ page and my Booking Page. But just to reiterate, here it is again:

Screening


Screening is required for all new friends. I accept the following methods of verification (choose one):

  • -2 provider references (links to her ad or site, and email), OR
  • -Employment Verification: Your full (real) name, the name of your employer, and your company email or direct phone number, OR
  • -If you’re on P411, you may contact me through my P411 profile.
  • -I accept Date-Check as part of my screening process.


Most clients who are sincerely interested in meeting with me understand that, by employing these methods, I am both ensuring my safety and prioritizing discretion, and they are therefore happy to supply this information.

However…


Lately I’ve gotten a number of emails from clients who tell me to simply Google their names. I’ve typed up several polite, well-thought-out explanations as to why this is not an acceptable substitute for my screening process, some of which were met with understanding and acquiescence, others of which were never answered. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve left my reasoning ambiguous, and I might better serve my clients by explaining what may seem to be an arbitrary list of requirements here.

“Here’s my name. Just Google me, Baby!”


The suggestion, “Just Google me” may seem logical to a client. After all, he may Google his name and find out even more than he’d like me to know, and therefore believe that the info on Google is more than sufficient.

But it’s not. First off, remember that I’ve got a couple Master’s degrees under my belt, so I’m well-versed in research methods, and if Google covered all aspects of client-screening, trust me, I’d be teaching classes on it.

Yes, I can find out a lot about a person just by using Google (probably more than most people realize). The problem arises when I need to verify that I am actually speaking with the person I’m Googling.

Here’s an example of a typical email exchange with a “Just Google me!” client:

  • To: Annie@NOLAcourtesan.com
    From: BobRoss1965@gmail.com
    Subject: Appointment with you tonight
    Message:

    Hey Annie,

    My name is Bob Ross. You may have heard of me. I’m a painter, and I used to have my own TV show. Remember “happy little trees?” Yeah, I started that whole thing. Anyway, I want to meet with you tonight. I know it’s short notice, but I’m sure you can accommodate a slick guy like me.

    Talk to you soon,

    Bob Ross the TV Painter

    • ——————————————————-

  • To: BobRoss1965@gmail.com
    From: Annie@NOLAcourtesan@gmail.com
    Subject: RE: Appointment with you tonight
    Message:

    Hi Bob,

    Thanks for contacting me. While I’d love to meet with you, I have not yet received your screening information, and I’m afraid I can’t schedule an appointment with you until I do. Please review the accepted screening methods I’ve outlined on my Booking page.

    Thanks again,

    Annie

    • ——————————————————-

  • To: Annie@NOLAcourtesan.com
    From: BobRoss1965@gmail.com
    Subject: RE:RE: Appointment with you tonight
    Message:

    Annie,

    I did see that list of screening methods, but like I told you, I’m Bob Ross, and all you have to do is Google me. There’s tons of info about me on the internet. I’m a very important person.

    Bob Ross, the TV Painter

    • ——————————————————-

  • To: BobRoss1965@gmail.com
    From: Annie@NOLAcourtesan@gmail.com
    Subject: RE:RE:RE: Appointment with you tonight
    Message:

    Hi again, Bob.

    I did in fact Google your name. Despite the fact that I do indeed see a lot of information related to Bob Ross, I can’t be sure you are actually him until I’m able to use an email or phone that is traceable to you.

    What I need is an email address that is associated with you publicly and professionally. For instance, if you work for PBS, and the PBS website lists Bob Ross’s email address as BobRoss@PBS.org, that will work perfectly. You can either shoot me a quick email from that account, or I can contact you through that address and you can reply that you’ve received that message. Then, I’ll know that you are really Bob Ross, the TV Painter.

    Alternatively, you can supply a phone number that is traceable to you. Let’s use the PBS example. PBS lists Bob Ross’s office contact number as (504)555-5555. I can call that number and ask to speak to Bob Ross, and all you have to say is “Yes Annie, it’s me,” and I’ll know I’ve been emailing back and forth with the right guy. However, if you only supply me with a phone number for a prepaid phone, or a number that, when Googled, is not attached to your name or business, that doesn’t really help me.

    And if neither of those methods works for you, you can also provide references (names and contact info or websites) from two established professional companions/providers/escorts you’ve met with in the past. I’ll contact them to make sure you’re safe and a gentleman. When they respond positively, I’ll get back to you and we can set up an appointment.

    Thanks for understanding, Bob! Hope to hear from you soon.

    Annie

In this hypothetical, I’m betting Bob doesn’t respond, lol.

I hope this clarifies things. If not, maybe I can show you what I mean with a little example. Let’s pretend this is the first time we’ve encountered one another. Here’s what I’ll say to you:

My name is Julia Roberts. You may have heard of me. I’m an actress–a pretty famous one. Go ahead and Google me; you’ll see lots of information about me and what I do. Now you should feel 100% confident that I’m Julia Roberts, the famous actress who is not dangerous or creepy.

Signed,

Absolutely, Positively, Without-a-Doubt, the Real Julia Roberts®

Now you can be 100% confident you’ll be meeting with Julia Roberts, right? ;)

OK so that’s a pretty ridiculous example, but the truth is, you’d be surprised how often random weirdos on the internet have contacted me claiming to be high-profile local businessmen or surgeons or whathaveyou. You might seem like a reasonable, respectful guy, but I can never be too careful with my safety.

Thanks so much in advance for understanding!

**

By the way:


If you do choose the professional email address route, and you’re concerned about my email address raising a red flag with your employer, I’ve got a solution. When I use this method, I use a separate, unassuming email address (the word “courtesan” is absent, so this email address doesn’t sound sexy.)

Here’s a copy of the email I send:

Please respond to this message for verification purposes.
If you are not the person who requested this message, please reply to this message with the word ‘Remove,’ or simply disregard.

Thank you,

AC


But Wait, There’s More!


My Screening Practices Explained, Part 2: P411, Date-Check, and References


and

Scheduling a Date with an Escort – On Providing References