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Can you trust an escort who doesn’t allow reviews? Client Questions

New question today! It’s a good one, too. I talk a lot about client screening, but it’s been a while since I’ve written on the topic of how to figure out if an escort is legit.

Dear Annie,

I found an escort on Eros.com. She has her own website but refuses reviews (which I understand and appreciate). I am wondering if I can trust this individual even though we only texted to set an appointment. She did ask for an email from my work account so I feel a little at ease but still question if I am being reckless with a possible sting. Thanks.

PS: The appointment is at her incall at a hotel. Thanks.

–LonelyInNashville

Ah, the whole “is she/he a cop” question. It’s a constant concern for anyone who works and/or plays in this biz. And of course, it will be, until the US wakes up and realizes that full decriminalization is the only ethical approach to sex work, the safest approach for sex workers, and the best way to protect vulnerable people from those who wish to exploit them.

But in the meantime, we have to research clients before we meet with them, and when considering meeting with an escort, clients must take great pains to do research of their own.

I tend to yammer on and on about the “why” of things before I get to the “how” because everything leads to a whole new can of worms–especially when I’m procrastinating in order to avoid something I really don’t feel like doing, like get in my un-air-conditioned car and drive to the grocery store. So sit back and prepare to read a novel, or just skip to the How to Vet an Escort Who Doesn’t Allow Reviews section.


So You’ve Found an Escort Who Doesn’t Allow Reviews

In this situation, most “hobbyists” would tell you to run the other way. Fast.

But wait! Her pics are super hot and her website and ads are intriguing as all hell and you really, really, really wanna meet this girl. Also, fuck hobbyists, they’re just jealous that she won’t give them a discount in exchange for a good review.

But you can’t just go for it without taking some precautions. For one, you want to make sure this isn’t some kind of bait-and-switch situation–you don’t want to book an appointment with a girl with supermodel good looks and wit to match, only to be met at the door by a bridge troll (LOL I kid, I kid). But more importantly, you don’t want to end up in a sting.

So what now? Well, believe it or not, many, many reputable providers do not participate in the review system, and there are other ways to verify whether an escort is legit.

Why Some Escorts Don’t Allow Reviews

Contrary to popular belief, reviews aren’t the end-all be-all to vetting an escort. Like I said, many providers don’t allow them (and for a while I actively discouraged them, and then I realized that in general, clients who meet with me aren’t the type to write reviews anyway. And besides, the occasional flattery IS kinda nice…), and the vast majority of the time, it’s not because they’re trying to pull one over on clients.

The Purpose of Escort Review Sites

The review system. Many escorts have a love-hate relationship with it, and many escorts simply have a hate-hate relationship with it. Ostensibly, review sites are a way for hobbyists to let other hobbyists know which escorts are legit, which are to be avoided, and what services a given escort offers. Sounds great, right?

Well, it is…kind of. First of all, understand that review sites aren’t providing a forum for clients to exchange info about escorts out of the kindness of their hearts. It’s a business. And as many of you might already know, there’s a lot more to this business than providing a way for clients to “stay safe,” “avoid thieves,” and “let other guys know what’s ‘on the menu'” (barf).

ECCIE's New Orleans Forum - Check out those ads!
Screenshot of the ECCIE New Orleans board. All that crap on the sides, top, and bottom of the screen is ads, most of them animated (blinking). Many of the menu items (with the ECCIE website’s styling) are actually ads masquerading as links to other pages on ECCIE. Clicking on anything that *is* legit will result in a pop-up ad you have to close (sometimes twice!) before you can see the page you meant to go to. ECCIE sucks.
Review sites are, first and foremost, in the business of selling memberships and advertising space. That is, after all, how most content-based websites make money. This is why, on sites where the userbase is escorts and their clients, you’ll see tons of pop-up ads with messages like “Don’t hire an escort! Get a free fuck buddy on AshleyMadison.com!!!!!” or “Escorts are disgusting trash; Why fuck a hooker when you can get a college coed for cheap? Come to SeekingArrangement.com and find a Sugar Baby!” Seems kinda contradictory for sites that facilitate client/escort meetings to run anti-escort ads, right? But ad revenue is ad revenue.

The “content,” of course, is the stuff on a website that people actually want to see–the entire reason they came to the website in the first place. After all, no one visits a website because they want to look at the obnoxious, blinking, tacky paid advertisements in the margins, just as you don’t watch TV because you like commercials (well, unless it’s the Superbowl, but I digress).

For a news or magazine site, the “content” is the articles. For a site about visual art (photography, paintings, sculpture, art installations, etc.) the content is the photos. For a recipe site, the content is the recipes and the images accompanying them. The website serves the content to users, and alongside it, they display ads from third-party businesses who have paid for that ad space. So, even though the users visit the site to see the content, they have to view the ads as well.

The “users,” of course, are you and me: the people who visit the website to view the content.

How Escort Review Sites Make Money–And How You Help

The genius of review sites is that the users provide the content. Therefore, the website doesn’t have to pay writers or artists or any other content creators. And often, they pay for the privilege! In the case of review sites, the “content” would primarily be the photos of escorts (created and uploaded by the escorts themselves) and the reviews of escorts (created/written and posted by clients). A secondary content type would be the discussion forums, which consist of posts written by escorts and clients.

But remember, from a business standpoint, the site is all about selling memberships to (male) users, and selling advertising space to other companies. And the only way to make it worth the buyers’ money is to have tons of content worth viewing.

And this, my friends, is why reviews that aren’t explicit will be rejected. I know it’s a common source of frustration for clients–you spend your $$, you meet with a provider, you go home and fill out the form and write a short essay about what happened, and some power-tripping schmuck (Administrator/Moderator) tells you it’s not “detailed” enough, and he won’t post it until you re-submit a version that’s extremely descriptive about everything that happened.

They’re not doing this just to be a pain (well, maybe some are). They’re doing this because they’re required to by whoever bestowed upon them the rare and coveted honor of Hooker Review Board Moderator. Moderators play an indirect role in generating money for the site. The site draws viewers via 1) pictures (and contact info, etc.) of hot escorts, and 2) written erotica (porn in text form, basically). You can’t really jerk off to “Yeah, she’s safe and legit. I had a good time. Highly recommended.” And if it’s not titillating, are you really gonna spend much time on the site, loading page after page (of ads)? Moderators are there to ensure that your reviews make good erotica–titillating content that will keep users on the site for hours, viewing those third-party ads.

So, now that we’ve established that the review system isn’t exactly a purely generous service to the community, let’s talk about how it plays out in the “real world.” Yes, reviews can still be helpful, and no, profiting from that type of content is not an inherent evil. But because they serve a purpose as erotica, drawing clients to the review site, they must be…well, erotic. So, in order to have their review accepted, clients are required to describe in detail the specific acts they participated in with the escort. That’s all fine and good until you realize:

  1. Those descriptions can be read as a very blatant admission of trading money for sex,
  2. Now that the review system exists, many escorts rely on it as their sole means of advertising,
  3. A list of activities an escort engaged in with one client is often interpreted by future clients as a list of activities she is obligated to offer them, regardless of the fact that they are an entirely different person on an entirely different day in an entirely different situation/setting, etc.,
  4. Escorts have no control over what a client writes, so he is free to reveal as much detail as he pleases, and to embellish or even lie (the sites do not allow escorts to respond to their own reviews),
  5. Therefore clients have a lot of leverage, and the threat of a bad review (or the promised reward of a good one) can cause an escort to do things she otherwise wouldn’t–offer services she’s not comfortable with, lower her rates in response to a client’s demands, etc.

Reputable escorts put A TON of time and energy into crafting and maintaining their personas on the internet. It’s how we advertise and promote. It’s how we show just enough of ourselves to entice clients without revealing too much to the public. It’s the face of our business, and for those of us who really, really love what we do and want to keep doing it, it would be absolutely devastating if someone shattered the whole thing in an act of vengeance, jealousy, or just plain nastiness. So it’s no surprise that some ladies would rather avoid this altogether.

So, when you find a provider who has opted out of the “hobbyist” escort review system, how do you know if she’s legit?

Another photo, just as a reward for reading this far, heh:

Black Corset and Boobs - New Orleans GFE Escort Annie

How to Vet an Escort Without Reviews

Luckily, there are tons of ways to vet an escort who doesn’t allow reviews. Onward!

Reputable Escort vs. Undercover Cop

OK first, you need to know what you’re looking for. Think about it: what kind of evidence would convince you that she’s most likely not a cop? Remember, reputable escorts do not want to put their business in jeopardy, so we’re very careful to maintain our image on the internet. If we were to participate in a sting (which doesn’t happen, but let’s play this game), it would take a matter of hours (or at most, days) for word to get out, and the business we’ve worked so hard to create would be destroyed in a matter of minutes. So the idea is to find an escort who is well-established, and use caution with anyone who appears fly-by-night.

Here are just a few things that might reassure you that she’s an established escort, not a cop:

  • An in-depth, long-running website with photos and text that doesn’t look like it was slapped together in 2 minutes (or stolen)
  • Ads with carefully-created photos and text that have been up for a while–not something quick-n-dirty that first appeared two hours ago.
  • An active, established social media presence
  • Profiles on escorting-related web forums and communities, and an established presence in those forums (comments, etc.)
  • Membership to a client screening site
  • Real reviews from real clients

Obviously, this isn’t a checklist–she doesn’t have to have everything on the list to be considered legit. And none of these is absolutely guaranteed to prove she’s not a cop. This is simply a guide to finding evidence that will help you make an informed decision.

Google is Your Friend!!

Never underestimate the sloppiness of some people. A lot of people simply don’t care enough, or aren’t smart enough to cover their tracks.

Ever heard of “catfishing”? It’s when someone (with evil intent) pretends to be someone else over the internet, usually via the use of stolen photos. Predators posing as escorts do it all the time, as do escorts who are afraid that their own photos wouldn’t attract clients.

In a sting situation, the ad photos have to come from somewhere. It’s highly unlikely that LE would be willing to arrange and pay for a sexy photoshoot for which they’d have to pay a photographer, a model, and possibly even a hair and makeup person. And it’s pretty damn unlikely that an undercover female cop is going to go through the trouble of a sexy photo shoot–nor should she, and I hope that if one were ever pressured to do so by her superiors, she’d sue their fucking badges off for sexual harassment. But the photos have to come from somewhere, right?

If you know how to use a computer (or even a smartphone), it’s pretty easy to find photos of an impossibly beautiful Brazilian model or a hot escort from another country or region (so that potential clients don’t recognize her, and she’s not likely to be checking to see if any escorts in Randomtown, USA are using her photos in ads), download them, and then use them in your own escort ads. So easy that it happens all the time–people have stolen my photos and used them in their own ads a few times. I imagine this is the same method LE uses when setting up a sting.

The good thing is, as long as the original owner of those photos hasn’t deleted them from whatever website they were originally on, those photos still exist somewhere on the internet. This is where Google Image Search comes in. If you think the pics of the girl in the ad are TGTBT (Too Good To Be True) do a Google Reverse Image Search. It’s easiest in the Chrome browser–just right-click on the photo, and when the drop-down menu pops up, click on “search Google for this image.” Easy. I’m sure there’s a way to do it on Bing, but I don’t use Bing, and I don’t feel like looking it up right now. If you’re a Bing user, just Google “How to do a reverse image search on Bing.” ;)

You can also Google a small but unique block of text from her ad (or site) to see if it appears on any other websites–if the ad was slapped-together with copy/pasted bits from other providers’ sites out of concern for time and a need to “sound authentic.”

Next, just in case, you can Google her phone number, just to see if anyone has put out an “alert” to the community about her when she was using another persona. This is pretty unlikely, but you never know. Maybe she was working with the cops (or maybe she’s otherwise dangerous). Some people just don’t bother changing their phone number after they ruin their own good name. Put the entire phone number in quotes, like this: “504-XXX-5309”

“Busted Escorts” Sites: Bullshit

You may find sites like “EscortBusts.com” or “BustedEscorts.com” or whatever. If you Google a girl’s number, one of those sites may come up and say something like, “DO NOT SEE HER, SHE IS WORKING FOR THE POLICE, YOUR STUPED IF YOU GO SEE HER DONT SAY WE DIDN’T WRAN YOU.” If you do, don’t freak out. Take a deep breath and think this through.

I can’t believe I have to explain this, but…I’ve seen way too many guys (and girls) freak out about these sites. THESE SITES ARE NOT LEGIT. Look at them with a critical eye. Why would a site like this exist? Does it serve any purported purpose other than hand-wringing over a girl supposedly working with the police? Would someone set up a site specifically and solely to warn unwitting would-be clients? How would they pay for that site? Ah, yes. The ads. Notice what those sites tell you, once you get over the shock and horror that OMG YOU JUST ALMOST WALKED INTO A STING (no, you didn’t). See how they seem to be directing you to other, “safer” options (companies or sites) via links? There’s the ad revenue. Scroll to the bottom of the page. There’s probably a “Contact” option, and it might even say “Contact us to remove your information from our site.” Bingo. They want the escorts pictured on these sites to pay them (usually around $100) to remove their names, photos, and numbers from the site. It’s a form of extortion. That’s why these sites exist. They have software that “scrapes” content (photos, text, phone numbers) from other sites (usually Backpage or other highly-trafficked websites with little oversight) and then they upload that same content onto their own site–add a little “OMG OMG OMG YOU IDIOT SHE’S A COP YOU ALMOST FUCKED UP!!” to accompany each photo/name/phone number, and watch the money roll in. How do they get away with it? Well…they’re fucking with escorts, who don’t really have the law on their side, or at least they don’t understand it enough to make a case for themselves. As for the sites they scrape from? It’s a copyright violation, but the highly-trafficked sites like Backpage don’t have time to bother with protecting the content on their site from theft.

BustedEscorts.com screenshot: "YOU GONNA CALL MOMMY TO BAIL YOU OUT?" (followed by big paid link to "safe" escort site)
Screenshot of BustedEscorts.com: “YOU GONNA CALL MOMMY TO BAIL YOU OUT?” (followed by big paid link to site with “safe” escorts)

Screenshot of BustedEscorts.com: "CAUTION: She is an undercover police officer" (followed by paid link to site with "legal" escorts)
Screenshot of BustedEscorts.com: “CAUTION: She is an undercover police officer” (followed by paid link to site with “legal” escorts)


Social Media

Social media is another way escorts will establish their legitimacy. More than that, though, it’s free publicity, and it’s a way to interact with other escorts, keep up with their clients, and quickly add pics and announce availability. Does she have a Twitter or Instagram or Snapchat or whatever account that’s been around for a while? Does she have more than just a few followers? Does she actually post stuff every once in a while? Like I said before, in general, LE isn’t going to go through the trouble of setting up and maintaining all these details years in advance of a sting, lol. Especially for a misdemeanor.

The same goes for webforum activity. Check sites like TER (The Erotic Review), TOB (The Other Board), NightShift, ECCIE, SouthernGFE, or whatever is popular in your area.


Screening Sites, etc.

Is she a member of a client screening site like P411 (Preferred411.com) or RS-AVS.com? RS-AVS.com isn’t used in my area, but Preferred411 (P411) is pretty popular, and from what I can tell, it’s used pretty widely, at least in the US. P411 has been infiltrated in the past, but if I remember correctly, LE were targeting escorts, not clients. Either way, P411 is a walled garden of safety precautions, which can be really frustrating when you’re new, but it is what it is. Not just anyone claiming to be a provider can join P411. You have to provide some info to the site’s administrator, and you have to prove that you are really, truly an escort. How does one do that?

Well, in order to be accepted to P411, an escort has to provide proof in the form of….
…
…
(wait for it…)
…
reviews from established clients.

No shit. So yeah, if she’s on P411, it’s a pretty good sign that she’s legit, or that her persona was at some point in the past. Perhaps she originally got a couple reviews just to get access to P411 (that’s what I did), and then went “No Reviews Allowed.” Or maybe she used to accept reviews, but then she got to the point that she no longer needed them, nor did she want the type of clients they attracted. It’s very difficult, but an escort can sometimes get reviews removed from a site (usually she has to fight tooth and nail with the admins of the site, and then she’s essentially unwelcome on that site forever).

Or maybe her old reviews are still up somewhere, she just doesn’t promote them as an advertising tool. You might wanna check.

Lastly, remember that, regardless of her “no reviews” policy, if an escort is trouble (a thief, a bait-and-switch, violent, or working with LE, for example), people WILL post about it. It’s not like she has any recourse.

Anyway, I hope that helps. No, there’s no way for me to guarantee you’re safe (or unsafe) from a sting if you meet this girl…but maybe these tips will help you use your best judgment.

Have fun and play safe!!

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Etiquette 101: Calling an Escort and Talking on the Phone – Client Questions

Escorts 101 for newbies: How to call an escortThis is a continuation of my previous post, in which I shared a list of questions a young newbie sent me a while back. I get questions in my email inbox often (from clients, potential clients, potential escorts, and people who aren’t part of the escort/client world but happened to find my blog and were interested enough to write). At some point I’ll get around to answering all of them. But since this list is from a newbie, and since these are questions a lot of newbies have, I thought it would be good to put this info up for ALL the newbies out there. Also, I’ll admit I was a bit amused by the sense of urgency with which he asked these questions, and I was charmed by his apparent concern for getting the etiquette right when calling an escort on the phone. Good job, Anonymous Newbie. You’re off to a great start.

I answered a relatively easy question first (Why do some escorts prefer older men?), so if that’s something you’ve wondered about in the past, please check out my extremely short and sweet answer, lol. Also, if you know the artist for the image from The Graduate, please let me know. It looks like it was taken from an original poster for the film. I love that movie, and I love Anne Bancroft in it. Mrs. Robinson one of my idols when it comes to assertiveness and the art of seduction.

Anyway, today I’m addressing his question about calling an escort–a question that is actually many questions in one. So, without further ado, here are his questions and my answers:


I wanted to know as an absolute newbie how do I make a date with a companion either from Backpage to P411. From the blog I see you are busy and your time is valuable, however I am not looking for a synopsis but an in depth explanation. So let me clarify on my question.

First, I wanted to know the etiquette of talking to a companion on the phone.

OK, here’s where I admit that I’m a little out of my element. I generally am not available on short notice, unless I happen to have had a cancellation. My clients tend to contact me well in advance, and they don’t necessarily need an answer this second. I do understand that not all providers work that way, though. Many providers go to their private incall (or book a hotel room) and devote their entire day(s) to seeing clients. Those providers probably appreciate phone calls because it’s a quick way to schedule something immediately.

Personally, I don’t like to set up dates over the phone. Why? Because I’m all over the place all day long–rushing to a yoga class, going to the gym, WAITING FOR THE REPAIR GUY FOR THE THIRD DAY IN A ROW (grumble grumble), hurrying to get ready for my day job, etc. If the phone rings, I can’t always drop what I’m doing, pull out my calendar, check my schedule, and then jot down screening info (contact info for other providers, and/or info to verify client identity [within reason], etc.). And sometimes, the only time I really have to do all that is late at night, when it’s not appropriate for clients to call me (or for me to call them).

So, I much prefer to get all the important info out of the way via email, and then confirm by phone/text as necessary. However, there are times that I may go several days without checking email, and in those situations, I appreciate a call or a text to say “Hey, I’m trying to set something up with you. Can you get back to me ASAP on this?” Some clients (who know me and my tendencies all too well, lol) will even call me first and say, “Hey, I’ll be in town for a conference next week. I’m about to email you my schedule; let me know if you can meet up any of those nights.” Then, as soon as I have a chance to sit down and focus for a few minutes, I can read the email he sent, check my calendar, figure out a time and day that works for both of us, reply to his email, and confirm the day, time, and location of our date.

That said, I have occasionally set up dates via phone in the past, especially with clients who weren’t very internet/computer savvy. So, I’ll try to answer these questions as well as I can.

  • How do I introduce myself?

    • The same way you’d introduce yourself to anyone else. “Hi, Sally. My name is Joe Shmoe. I saw your ad/website/whatever, and I’d like to spend some time with you later today/next Wednesday/February 29th/whatever.”


  • What can I ask, and what can’t I ask?

    • Well, what do you need to ask? You should know the important stuff before you even contact that girl whose ad you’ve been drooling over. Let’s make a list, shall we?

    Important Stuff You Should Know Before Deciding to Call That Escort

    1. Is she legit?

      2. Is the girl in the ads the same person as the girl you’ll meet on the date?

    2. Is it dangerous to meet with her?

      3. Does she have any problems that have caused her to behave recklessly with clients in the past? Does she attract the attention of law enforcement by being indiscreet about escorting or recreational drug use, or by disturbing the peace? Is she law enforcement?? Is she prone to violence? Has she stolen from or assaulted former would-be clients? These are things you can generally figure out with a little poking around. If there’s not much info about her, well…I guess you have to do a cost/benefit analysis. I don’t advise seeing anyone who is not a well-established provider. But the risks are yours to weigh.

    3. What are her rates?

      4. These will be somewhere on her ad or website. You should not have to ask. If she has them listed on her ad and/or website and you ask her what her rates are, she may become suspicious as to why you’re asking. Perhaps you’re going to try to haggle with her. Or maybe you’re trying to negotiate price for specific activities. She would be right to be suspicious of your motives.

      If her rates aren’t listed on her website, there should be a good reason for that (maybe the site she’s advertising on doesn’t allow her to list her rates, or maybe she’s finding clients via Craigslist personals or Backpage personals, and a list of rates would get her flagged by other site users).


    So, back to your question: What can/can’t you ask?

    Date/Time/Location: You can ask if she’s available on the specific day and time that you’d like to meet. If you’re not sure, you can ask if she does outcalls/incalls.

    Activities and gifts/compensation: This is personal preference, but unless you’re 100% sure she doesn’t mind, you should not ask about sex or money via the phone. She is an escort. If you’re respectful, clean, and nice to her, things will get physical.

    Maybe there’s one specific act you’re looking for, and it’s a dealbreaker if she doesn’t offer it. Still, don’t ask about it on the phone. In that case, you need to either find another girl who explicitly offers that–she might say so on her website, ad(s), or online escort board profile(s), if that’s allowed (though she’s not obligated to do that with you, even if she does it with other clients). But keep in mind that many providers will never explicitly state which activities they “offer.” So, you may need to gamble. By “gamble,” I mean that you book an appointment, place the envelope/gift in plain sight, and see what happens–will she or won’t she be into that thing you really, really enjoy? If you don’t have your answer once things are hot and heavy, you can ask then.* If she says no, there’s your answer. Consider it a learning experience. Now you know she doesn’t offer that–wwell, not to you, at least). If you think it’s important that other guys know that ahead of time, let them know that she did not offer it to you. Remember, “YMMV” (Your Mileage May Vary) applies to every. single. provider. She does not have to participate in the same exact activities with every single client.

    If she doesn’t advertise her rates, I suppose the safest question to ask would be: “What should I bring (for you)?”

    *Communication and consent are SO important. Get used to asking for what you like and talking/checking in to make sure everything’s a-ok during sex. I promise you, it’s cool, it doesn’t break the mood, and most people do it without even thinking about it anyway. Plus, you can learn a lot of new things by communicating with your partner in bed ;)


  • How do I ask about making an appointment?

    • “Hi, Sally. My name is Joe Shmoe. I saw your ad/website/whatever, and I’d like to spend some time at my hotel/your incall/my home with you later today/next Wednesday/February 29th/whatever.”

    You can get all of this out in one blurt. Trust me, this is a lot better than beating around the bush, so to speak. These days, lots of us are pretty awkward on the phone with strangers (ahem, not that I am one of those people…OK FINE, I AM), and those weird clumsy silences can be painful. Just say hello, introduce yourself, and tell her when(day & time) and where (your hotel or neighborhood, or her incall) you’d like to meet. She’ll either accept your invitation, or she’ll ask for an alternative day/time.

    Then, if she’s smart and cautious, she will screen you. More about this later.


  • How do I ask about the donation amount and how they want to receive it?

    • Again, her rates should be posted somewhere on her ad or website. If you can’t find them anywhere, proceed with caution. Use careful phrasing. I would ask, “What should I bring for you?” If she’s clueless as to what you mean by that (and oh lord, I really hope she catches your drift because otherwise I’d begin to doubt her mental competency), you can ask something like, “What should I put in the envelope for you?”

    As to how the provider wants to receive her money, I can’t speak for everyone, but I like it to be in a plain white envelope in an easily-visible, obvious location when I arrive. It’s also nice to put my name on it ;)


  • How do I ask where to meet, whether in call or out call?

    • Again, that will usually be on her ad or website. Some providers (like me–I don’t host) only do outcalls. Some providers (like a few friends of mine, who’d rather stay in one place) only do incalls. In my experience, clients usually know where they want to meet. The vast majority of the time, they know I don’t do incalls, because I make that pretty clear on most of my ads/profiles, etc., and that’s perfectly fine with them, because they don’t want to leave their fancy hotel (and I don’t blame them!). But every once in a while someone will contact me and assume he can come to me. Alas, that’s where he and I part ways, because I have no plans to host clients at a private incall location anytime soon.

    If you don’t know whether she provides incall, outcall, or both, then decide what you’d prefer, and ask for that.

    If you want an outcall: “Can you meet me at the Ritz Carlton at 8pm tonight?” You can give her your room number then, or if you’re feeling chivalrous (or the elevators require keycard access), you can ask if she’d like to come directly up to your room, or if she’d rather you to meet her downstairs in the lobby, or out front of the hotel, or at the bar. Keep in mind that her time starts when she meets you. So, if you decide you’d like to chat over drinks at the bar for 45 minutes before heading upstairs, you should either prepare for a quickie, or ask if you can pay her for more time.

    If you want an incall: “Can you host?” If she says yes, then ask her for her location. Easy peasy. Some girls do a two-call system: She’ll first tell you the general area (like her apartment complex, her hotel, her neighborhood, or her street), and she’ll tell you to call her back once you get there so that she can give you the exact address/apartment number/room number.


  • How do I know if it is a cop on the other end?

    • You don’t, unfortunately. Cops can and do lie. They do that (and worse) to sex workers all the time. I wish I could tell you otherwise. I wish I could say there was a foolproof, fail-proof trick to tell whether you’re talking to a cop or not. But I can’t.

    The best you can do is to be smart and careful. Do your research. Has she been around for a few years, as is evidenced by an active website and/or blog and/or social media accounts and/or activity on online boards (TER, ECCIE, etc.) and/or reviews? If someone’s maintained an active online presence for years, it’s pretty unlikely she’s a cop. But I guess anything’s possible, and you really never know. I can’t promise anything. That’s why a lot of clients find a provider they like and stick with her.

    Please don’t go out there calling the numbers on random, thrown-together ads willy-nilly. I don’t want you to get robbed or arrested. If all you suffer is a simple bait-and-switch, consider yourself lucky. Do your homework!


  • How do I ask for them to verify me as I have no references?

    • She’ll ask. When she asks for references, tell her you have none because you’re a newbie. She might want to verify you via employment verification. She might just Google your phone number. She might not screen you at all. Let’s hope you find providers who care enough about their safety to do some sort of screening.

    You mentioned that you’re on P411, but you don’t have any “Okay”s yet because you haven’t seen any providers yet. Some providers will see you anyway, because they know your identity has been verified by P411.

    The level of screening can vary quite a bit from provider to provider. Many will ask you for provider references (contact info of providers you’ve previously met with who can vouch for you). Some require employment verification (they may want to make a quick call to your office while you’re there to make sure that yes, you really are Dr. Joe Shmoe, podiatrist, and not Creepy Carny Clyde, the drunken tilt-a-whirl operator who just got out of prison for the attempted murder of his ex-wife). If she’s like me, she’ll prefer to do this via email, and she probably has a boring, unassuming email address that she uses for that purpose only. Others may simply check your phone number to make sure no one has posted an urgent warning about you, Clyde.

    To learn more about screening and why we do it, check out Wait, But Why? Escort Screening & Verification 101 for Newbies

    Posted on

    Awww…I love making my clients happy ;)

    I saw a really sweet, fun gentleman on Friday. “I’m going to leave a review for you,” he said. “On your blog.”

    First, read the review he left me, because it’s adorable (then you can read the explanation of why it’s on my blog and not, say, ECCIE or TER.).:

    Doc on May 29, 2015 at 5:29 pm said:

    Annie this a recent praise email. Put it in your blog if you want. Thank you Annie for a great date today . While I do not need the down and dirty parts of reviews on Exccie or TER, I am still reluctant to meet someone without recent reviews. I do like an intelectual escort and you are that. In addition to a great brain, you have a sexy, talented, educated body.
    Doc

    Doc on May 29, 2015 at 5:33 pm said:

    Forgot to put in praise that I am glad that I didn’t let lack of of recent reviews deter me.

    He said he was at first hesitant to contact me because I don’t have reviews (but he was glad he did, I promise!). I do have a “discreet reviews only” policy–I have no problem with clients letting each other know that I’m safe and reputable (and sexy and awesome). But my client lamented the fact that most of the review sites won’t allow non-explicit reviews. If you don’t include graphic details and descriptions, they won’t publish it on the site. So basically, it’s: “Either write erotic nonfiction about your time with Annie, or don’t write about her at all.”

    The review sites state that their purpose is to provide clients with information about providers that will help them to make informed choices when scheduling a date with an escort they’ve never met with before. However, a lot of us really don’t want graphic details flying around on the internet about what we have and haven’t done with our clients. We all have our reasons, and I can’t speak for everyone. Personally, I don’t allow graphic reviews because:

    1. I pride myself on my ability to be discreet before, during, and after meeting with a client.

    2. I do not believe it’s wise, from a legal standpoint, to allow people to publish accounts of what we’ve done together, especially since I have no control over how much they tell, or if what they write is even accurate. I’m very careful about keeping my work legit and legal, but I know that, whether I want to believe it or not, not everyone will take the necessary precautionary measures when they “kiss and tell” to the other boys. It’s not really worth the risk, I feel.

    3. Come on. What if I want to run for congress someday??! ;)

    Escort review sites’ “explicit-reviews-only” policies (presumably put in place to collect as much info as possible about escorts so that the site can then supply a wealth of information about each escort to the potential clients), ultimately decrease the amount of information clients can learn about the pool of available escorts in a given area.

    Why? Because when you add the number of escorts that don’t want explicit reviews on the internet (which effectively excludes them from the review system altogether) to the number of guys who don’t want to write porn in their spare time (or porn-tastic descriptions of intimate time spent with a lovely, intelligent, entertaining, funny, enchanting vixen-for-hire ::wink wink::), you get a pretty big number of reviews that aren’t being written. Reviews that could be providing relevant information to hesitant clients. Information that might not be as entertaining as porn-style kiss-and-tell braggadocio, but is useful nonetheless. Information like, say:

    • Are the escort’s pictures accurate? Is she the person she pitches herself to be in her ads and on her website?

    • Did she show an acceptable level of professionalism (i.e., did she show up on time, did she graciously accept the previously-agreed-upon rate without trying to hustle more out of the client)?

    • Was she appropriately discreet?

    • Did she appear to be in good health?

    • Did she behave responsibly behind closed doors? (I don’t know, some euphemism for “The escort did not insist on riding bareback” etc.)

    • While in the company of this escort, did you ever feel your safety was at risk?

    • Would you recommend this escort to other clients?

    If escort review sites would allow non-explicit reviews (come on y’all–this is a gold mine of an idea for somebody out there…hell, maybe I’ll do it!), clients might not know every detail about what that particular escort has done with her past clients, but many who are on-the-fence would know enough to make a decision they won’t regret.

    Posted on

    Wait, But Why? Escort Screening & Verification 101 for Newbies



    I’ve written at length about the “how” of escort screening. Right now I’m going to write a little about the “why.”

    (Preface: Sometimes I get carried away. If you’re in a rush, you don’t want to hear about my love of 3-legged dogs and my hatred of mayonnaise, and you just want to be reassured that we’re not performing weird witchcraft rituals with your info or selling it to spammers for .0000000001 cent, scroll on down. I assure you, I DO have a point…)



    For the Newbies…

    This one’s for all the newbies out there ;)

    Continue reading “Wait, But Why? Escort Screening & Verification 101 for Newbies”

    Posted on

    Accolades, Fan Mail, and Praise

    I’ve been thinking of doing this for a while. I occasionally receive gifts and/or flattering emails from readers of my blog. Some are potential or former clients; some are simply folks who either stumbled upon my site accidentally while perusing other sites or found it while searching for tell-all blogs full of racy stories written by professional companions (if you read this blog regularly, you know that’s not what they found here, haha).

    Sometimes I feel like when I’m writing this blog I’m sending posts out into a void: a vast and empty space on the internet where no one actually reads anything, they simply click around in search of free photos and spammable email addresses. And because I rarely receive comments (hint, hint–I love comments, people. I even have it set so that you can leave them anonymously, jeez.), it’s easy to convince myself more and more often that that is the case. So, it’s always nice when someone drops me a line to let me know I’m wrong ;)

    Anyway, these generous gifts and thoughtful emails always brighten my day (or week, as it were). And, ya know, I don’t want to brag…well, yes I do. So, I thought I’d share a few with you.

    Fan Mail

    November 2012

    I would be ashamed to admit how many courtesan/escort websites I have
    perused (and admittedly judged). You have done a magnificent job of
    arranging yours. It is one of the few that I’ve seen that is FUN to
    explore. From the alluring photos that make you a very desirable woman
    to trying to guess where the photos taken, it rates as one of the
    best. Your personality flows from page to page.

    When I sent the link to my girlfriend, her reply was “She’s Funny!”.
    High praise from someone who is difficult to impress.

    _______

    October 2012

    Folks…If you are looking for a young lady who is sexy and well educated, then Annie is a must see in New Orleans. — from TER

    October 2012

    Hi Annie! :)

    My name’s ____…and no, this isn’t what you think. I am a hobbyist and have more than a few references that can vouch for what kind of gentleman I am…

    in (city that’s really far away from New Orleans)!

    I just started reading your blog and really enjoy it. (Insert semi-identifying info about this gentleman’s connection to New Orleans).

    Hopefully I’m not wasting your time with this email. Obviously, it would be difficult for us to schedule time together because of our distance issue. I am hoping, however, that I may call you a “blog friend” and fellow New Orleanian and continue to enjoy your writings. Maybe someday in the near future, a meeting could take place.

    Until then, thank you for the enjoyable blogging, and stay safe.

    ___

    September 2012

    Hi Annie,

    I hope this message finds you well and in good spirits.

    Up front, with 2 kids in out of state private colleges to the tune of
    100K a year, I’m not a potential customer…I feel like it would be
    taking something away from them if I was. I just wanted to share a few
    thoughts.

    Anyway, I divide the world up into two groups of people. Interesting
    and not very interesting. Money, power, or social status have nothing
    with my decisions, you are either interesting or not.

    Well, Annie, YOU are interesting. Continue reading “Accolades, Fan Mail, and Praise”

    Posted on

    My Screening Practices Explained, Part 2: P411, Date-Check, TER, and References

     

    **This is Part 2 of a three-part series explaining some of the most common screening methods escorts, providers, and other adult entertainers use to ensure safety and discretion with clients.**

     

    (continued from My Screening Practices Explained, Part 1: Just Google Me, Baby!)

    Soooo…

    Screening Sites

    In addition to the identity verification system I outlined in Part 1, I do, like many other providers, accept provider references and use P411 as part of my screening process, but I no longer accept Date-Check.

    escort screening site preferred411 P411
    P411 logo: Kinda looks like a logo for some kind of feminine hygiene product, doesn’t it?

    P411 (or Preferred 411, if you want to be fancy and call it by its full name) is a site where clients network with providers. Basically, providers vouch for clients.

    This is how it works: A provider meets with a client, and then she reports back to the site regarding whether the client is safe to meet with or not. If she feels that he was a gentleman, she will indicate that. This is called an “Okay.” If she felt that her safety was jeopardized by meeting with him, she will report him. The next time he decides to meet with a provider, she can check the “Okays” he has been given, and then contact those providers for further details. Using this system, providers can quickly and easily vet potential clients based on how other providers felt after sessions with him.

    date check is terrible
    Date-Check.com: Really, Date-Check? Neon yellow and fire-engine red print on a bright purple background? My eyes, my eyes!! It burns!!!!

    Date-Check is similar, just uglier and clunkier. Seriously, it looks like they jumped into a time machine, traveled back to 1998, and asked a 7-year-old with a drug problem to design that website. It’s a mess. Also, the admins/owners of that site are…not the brightest of the bunch. For example, at the moment they have me listed as “retired.” Why? Because I had the gall to tell them that, if they were going require me to pay them for access to their site (a site whose main revenue comes from the traffic and paid subscriptions of clients who are searching for escorts), then they needed to pay me for access to my photos and content. You see, they elected to keep my photos, content, contact info on their site after notifying me that my account was no longer free. I’m not OK with a company using my material to pull traffic to their site and giving me nothing in return, so I asked them to restore my account or remove my profile. Somehow, they understood that as, “I’m quitting the business.” Um, no.

    There are several other websites similar to these. Different sites are more popular in different locations. For example, Room Service 2000 (RoomService2000.com) is popular in Chicago. P411 is probably the most widely used in New Orleans.

    Provider References

    I do ask for references from clients (click here for a detailed explanation of how that works). No, this doesn’t mean I want to hear from your thesis director or your boss. This means I would like to personally contact (through email or phone) two or three providers you’ve met with. I’ll talk to that provider, and I’ll ask her a few questions that will (hopefully) let me know I will be safe and comfortable in the client’s presence, and that we will be compatible.

    TER Whitelist – The Erotic Review Client Whitelist

    Continue reading “My Screening Practices Explained, Part 2: P411, Date-Check, TER, and References”