Happy Lundi Gras, everyone!! I’ve had a chaotic day, and I finally have a chance to sit down and chill. So, I thought I’d answer a question I received from a reader about a week ago. The topic: older gentlemen and escorts. Specifically:
- Can older gentlemen hope to meet with significantly younger escorts?
- How do escorts screen retired newbies?
and
Annie,
first of all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to generate this enormously helpful blog of information for those of us who know nothing about your profession. Thank You!
And so on to the topic no one wants to think about, older people and sex; Do they actually allow them to do that after 50? I am a gentleman in my mid-60s who lost his wife about 10 years ago to health issues. Without going into a “poor miserable me” diatribe, let me just say that the older you are, the harder it seems to fit into the dating scene, especially if you have no interest in developing another “serious” relationship after half a life time of a wonderful marriage. The fact remains, however, that the loss of a spouse does not necessarily equate to the loss of a mature gentleman’s sex drive. So, in my humble opinion, herein lies the perfect solution; perfectly pragmatic female companionship through professional escorts.
That brings me to my few questions: I notice that most escorts are much younger than me. I don’t normally see an acceptable client age range given on escort’s webpages. So, should I expect to find female escorts who would be willing to accept clients in my age range? My second question regards screening. Having never used an escort’s services, I cannot give references. Also, being retired, I am not able to furnish current employer information for a background check. How would you recommend establishing trust with prospective escorts?
I appreciate your time and indulgence.
Signed,
Oldy but Goody
Hey, Oldy!!
I am so, so sorry to hear about your wife. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose the person you’ve shared your body, heart, and life with for so many years. It’s understandable that you’d have little interest in building another serious relationship–but lots of interest in recreational boot-knockin’.
Plus: My personal philosophy is that, as long as you’re alive, you’re never too old for sex. The sex you have at age 93 may not be exactly like the sex you had at age 23, but the happiest, most satisfied people are able to grow and adapt to changing situations. We’re all gonna get old sooner or later, if we’re lucky. Don’t let inevitable changes get in the way of the all-important HankyPanky.
So, a few observations:
“I notice that most escorts are much younger than me.”
Well yes, there are a lot of younger women in the game. But there are also many megawatt hotties (Cat Elliot, Cecilia Dahl, Lea Madisson, and Elisabeth Whispers are just a few escorts I know of who identify as “Mature”) who aren’t SO young that the sight of you in public with one of them on your arm would raise eyebrows. Turn heads and stop traffic? Sure. But the age difference wouldn’t scandalize the masses, unlike a certain other couple who made a bit of a splash this week. Bonus: Remember how I said “practice makes perfect,” and older gentlemen often know things that the younger gents have yet to learn? I can only assume it’s the same for ladies…
But I know that wasn’t really your question. So, moving on:
Will younger escorts see older clients?
I don’t normally see an acceptable client age range given on escort’s webpages. So, should I expect to find female escorts who would be willing to accept clients in my age range?
You know, that really depends on the escort. But you’re doing everything right: you’re checking their websites and doing research in a due-diligence effort to determine whether you make the cut. If she doesn’t explicitly state that clients must be under a certain age in order to be eligible for a date with her, I would assume she’d be happy to meet with older guys. Honestly, I don’t know any escorts who refuse clients simply because they happen to be older.* But, when in doubt, you can always email her and ask.
*I do, however, know of several escorts who will not meet with younger clients.
Next up: screening!
Screening: Special Cases
Having never used an escort’s services, I cannot give references. Also, being retired, I am not able to furnish current employer information for a background check. How would you recommend establishing trust with prospective escorts?
So, here’s the thing with screening: the vast majority of newbies think they’re a “special case” (“But I’m married!” “But I have a Really Important job!!” etc.), and they are absolutely, capital-W Wrong.
You, however, are a legitimately Special Case. You can’t be expected to provide references if you’ve never seen an escort. And you can’t provide employer information if you’re now retired. So what’s a guy to do?
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P411 and Other Escort-Client Screening Sites
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Non-Traditional/Unorthodox Screening Options
Well, there are a few options. First, you could join a screening site like P411 (Preferred411.com). You are required to provide documentation of your identity (I’m not exactly sure what kind, but I’d assume a state-issued ID or an equivalent) before you are approved and granted access to the site. Once you are approved, you can contact escorts through the site, and if they use P411 as it was intended, they’ll want to confirm that you are indeed that P411 account holder (and you aren’t sharing your account with buddies, or you haven’t sold it to someone who couldn’t get approved, etc.) when they meet you. Once you’ve seen an escort or three (or twenty–whatever, I don’t judge) from P411, you’ll have someone (or several someones) to personally vouch for you–provided you were respectful, gentlemanly, and safe. Then, when you want to meet with a provider who doesn’t use P411, you’ll have references who can vouch for you.
A caveat: Some of the escorts on P411 will not meet with you until you’ve earned two or more “Okay”s (meaning you’ve met with two escorts who have marked you on the P411 website as safe and “Okay” to meet with). This is a personal preference, and once they can confirm with other ladies that you’re fine and dandy, they’ll consider meeting with you.
There are other options, and different providers will have different requirements that you’ll need to meet before they consider you as a client. I have an option that I offer to SOME “Special Cases,” and it involves certain social media sites or a personal website or blog. I have also accepted a photo of a potential “Special Case” client’s driver’s license when we were scheduling our first date, and then I checked to make sure it was legit when I met with him. I’m really glad I did, because he is awesome and if I hadn’t been flexible (but still thorough) with screening, I never would have met him. And that would have been a shame. So, explain to her what your situation is, and ask her what you can do that would satisfy her need for personal safety. Some providers will work with you to come up with a creative solution; some won’t. But it never hurts to ask ;) Hey, that should be my motto, now that I’m doing this advice column thing!
Well, I’d blather on loquaciously for another hour, but dinner’s ready, and I’m starving. Also, I just used the word “unorthodox” in the context of escort screening. I think I’m done for the night, lol.
— Annie
Update: 3/6/17
A friend on Twitter contacted me to explain his experience with the initial verification and membership approval on P411. Screenshots below; scroll down for transcribed messages. Hope this helps!
“For P411 to approve me, I had to show my water bill in my name I thought that was strange.”
–Lol it is. Do you mind telling me what else you had to show them? No pressure, it’s just helpful info
“A copy of my (driver’s license)…address blanked out. My work (phone number).”
–But then they wanted your water bill? That has your address on it!
“No, address blanked out…name matched.”
–Ohhh ok. That makes more sense haha
“They couldn’t verify my (phone number)… I googled it. It said owned by XXXXX. They couldn’t verify it. Weird. Anyway, I didn’t renew with them since I don’t travel.”
–So you weren’t approved?
“Yes, I was…water bill did it. How can you not google a phone number? Very odd. I was with them 1 year. I had 5 okays…but thought…that’s proof of what I was doing.”