Posted on

Calling the Client’s Workplace, Escort Earnings: Questions from a would-be escort

Yay, new question!! Well, semi-new, because it came in like 2 weeks ago and I’m just now getting to it. This one’s a little different from most of the others–today I’m going to answer a couple questions not from a client, but from a woman who is considering working as an escort in New Orleans.

Greetings Annie!

My name’s [redacted], and I’m trying to figure out how to break into the escorting business in the way that feels most right. I started by looking up “escort agencies in Nola” and, while I heard back immediately from one, when it came time to call them, I just couldn’t silence this little voice inside saying there is a better way, and a smarter way, for me to go about this. I started searching online for someone, anyone, that I could reach out to who’s in the business, in New Orleans, doing it independently, and who seemed, well, “real.” You’re the first one.

First of all, thank you for being genuine and being classy. My online searching experience with this business so far has left me a little grossed out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about getting nasty in the bedroom if it fits the mood and energy of the moment; I mean “grossed out” by way of the rampant tackiness, sloppiness, and lack of genuineness I see all over the place. So thank you SO MUCH for putting so much time and effort into your website and image. Your personality really shines through and it’s a massive breath of fresh air.

Sorry, I’m trying to keep this as short as I can. I have two questions:

  1. When a client gives you their employer’s phone number for reference, what do you say in that call? Is it just a simple “could you direct me to [client’s name] please?” And if/when they do, then you just give a quick “thanks” and hang up? Or is there a different way you like to handle it?

    Also, how often do clients even give their employer’s phone number for their reference? Just curious.

  2. This question I’m pretty nervous to ask you, because I don’t want to come off as being rude or disrespectful. So feel free to decline answering! But do you make, financially, a really good living doing escorting in New Orleans? It’s just that I have no idea how lucrative the business is in Nola as opposed to other U.S. cities.

I’m wondering if I’d be better off moving somewhere with a larger population like Chicago or Boston, but it’d probably be best to get a feel for how I’d do in New Orleans first. It is the nearest large city to me and I plan on moving to a new location in the country anyway. What did the income from escorting sort of look like when you first started out? And has that income grown since?

Apologies for the length; and thanks so very much for your time! You are profoundly appreciated!

OK first of all, thanks so much for the compliments. I’m blushing ;)

One of the great things about this business is that there’s something for everyone. No matter what a client is into, if it’s a decent-sized city, they’ll probably be able to find a provider who is offering that type of experience. BBW? We got that. GFE? Yep. Porn Star experience? Check. Intimacy on a cerebral and physical level? Got it. College co-ed type? MILF? Amazon woman? Dominatrix? Bimbo fetish? Submissive? Extra-kinky? Trans girl? Latina/Black/White/East Asian/South Asian/Pacific Islander/Carribean/European/etc.? They’re all out there if you look.

And not everyone is concerned with projecting a “classy” image or coming off as “genuine.” In fact, some like their women just a tad on the “trashy” side (sorry, I had to). Lots of providers actually prefer that clients never see their “real-life” personality. And that’s cool. Not all clients are looking for that. Mine, however, usually are, and that’s why they’re drawn to me.

OK, so on to your actual questions:

When a client gives you their employer’s phone number for reference, what do you say in that call? Is it just a simple “could you direct me to [client’s name] please?” And if/when they do, then you just give a quick “thanks” and hang up? Or is there a different way you like to handle it?

Screening via Employment Verification by Phone

Ugh. I really, really hate screening via phone, and I do everything in my power to avoid it and screen via email/internet instead. Realistically, I know the receptionist isn’t going to hear my voice and immediately launch into a tirade:

“I can tell by the way you said ‘Hello, may I speak to Mr. X?’ that you are a Lady Of the Evening! How DARE you call this respectable place of business, you HUSSY!!! The founders of this company, God rest their souls, are absolutely TURNING IN THEIR GRAVES!!!!”

But, ya know. It could happen.

In all seriousness, I have a few good reasons why I prefer to screen via email. If I need to screen via phone, I have to remember to do it before the business day is over. Sometimes I’m busy all day, and then it’s 5pm. But there’s no time limit on the internet, so I can do screening stuff at 10pm, or if I suddenly wake at 3am and remember that I’ve forgotten to complete all the screening for Mr. X, I can fire up the laptop and do it right then and there. Plus, I just don’t like calling people’s workplaces and talking to the receptionist. What if I pronounce the guy’s name wrong? What if the Jehovah’s Witnesses stop by AGAIN and they ring my doorbell and my dogs start barking and I can’t shut them up? And then, by the time I finally do, I’ve forgotten the guy’s name and I have to scramble to find it while the receptionist waits on the other end of the line? Argh! So many things can go wrong. Or what if everything goes fine and then she puts my call through to Mr. X, and Mr. X and I proceed to have an awkward chat about nothing for the next 20 minutes, most of which I can’t understand because I get bad reception in my house and I have to go outside if I want to hear the person I’m talking with semi-clearly, but outside is where my neighbors are, and they’re old and always want to chat, and plus I’d rather not talk about work loudly on my front porch. See? Phone screening is a catastrophe waiting to happen!!!

I kid, I kid. Yes, I prefer email, but let’s say you gotta do it via phone, because sometimes you just do. And now that I’ve finally gotten to it, the answer to your question is pretty damn simple: When a client gives you their employer’s phone number for screening purposes, just ask the client what he would like you to say. That’s it. Maybe he’ll tell you to tell the receptionist that you’re from his dentist’s office, or his kid’s school, or that you’re Pam from Dunder-Mifflin. Or maybe it’s a direct line to his office, and you won’t have to use any kind of clever trickery beyond dialing the number he’s given you (which yes, I know, is not clever trickery, and would only be regarded as such by a time traveler from the year 1870, but whatever, the sentence is already written and that’s how it’s gonna stay).

And in my experience, nah, they don’t go this route all that often. They generally seem to prefer email communication as well. But I bet that varies a whole lot, depending on the type of client, the industry they’re in, etc.


But do you make, financially, a really good living doing escorting in New Orleans? It’s just that I have no idea how lucrative the business is in Nola as opposed to other U.S. cities.

Financials: How much money do escorts in New Orleans make?

This is a difficult question to answer, because my definition of “a really good living” may not be the same as yours. Do I make a million dollars? LOL no. But I don’t stress about money all the time like I used to, and to me, that has been so, so, so valuable. I’m able to be selective with clients, and I don’t have to meet with every client who comes my way. Then again, I don’t have children, nor do I have a fancy car to pay off, etc., so my expenses might not be as high as some other people’s.

You can ask 100 escorts from all over the New Orleans Metro Area what they think of the business here and how lucrative it is, and you’ll probably get 100 different answers. How much money you make will depend on a lot of things.

Factors that affect your earnings as an escort, especially in New Orleans:
  • Are you willing to maintain a private incall location? This will allow you to tap into the locals market, but it also necessitates you paying rent and bills for a second place every month. You could, of course, work out of your own home to save money, but I don’t really recommend that. And unless you live in a place that is discreet, convenient, and in a “good neighborhood” (which is really, REALLY hard to define in New Orleans), many of the local “hobbyists” will either decline to see you, or even talk shit about your neighborhood on the boards. I have several friends who have scheduled an appointment with a client, and after he was a NC/NS (No Call/No Show), they discovered that he had posted something to this effect on the local board:

    “When i drove up, there was a black guy outside, and it just seemed sketchy, so I left. Watch out for this one, guys. Don’t think I’ll contact her again, and I advise you not to, either.”

    The implication here is that either the provider has a “dangerous” “pimp,” or that the whole thing was a set up, and the “hobbyist” was about to get robbed. How do you think that affects her business for the next several months?

    In one case, it was her fucking neighbor sitting on his own goddamn porch on a pretty day. In another, it was a group of (black) teenage boys carrying baseball bats…because they were walking a block to the baseball field where the neighborhood team plays. In another, it was a black guy walking down the street. I shit you not, the dude was minding his own business, literally WALKING DOWN THE FUCKING STREET, and this was enough to scare the little bigot off back to the ‘burbs, where he immediately hopped on the computer to “warn everyone” that that my friend had a pimp.

  • Are you willing to be “on call” 24/7, including last minute appointments? I turn a lot of appointments down, because I am not gonna roll out of bed at 1am, get all gussied up, and drag myself over to some drunk/coked-up/whatever guy’s hotel room. Not only would I be worried that he’d be passed out or gone by the time I got there, but I just…wouldn’t be my best “me.” Being “on call” every moment of the day would undoubtedly get you a higher total of appointments per week, but for me, it’s not worth it. I like my job, and I have no desire to stop doing it any time soon. The last thing I need is to do it in such a way that I would grow to hate it.

  • Are you willing to have your life revolve around this job? Are you willing to spend most of your waking hours going back and forth with potential clients, clients, time-wasters, other escorts, etc. via email, phone, text and messaging systems on several different escort/client websites, and maintaining an internet presence via social media and boards? If you can do this, by all means, enjoy your burnout.

  • Speaking of burnout, do you plan on taking occasional week-long or month-long breaks? If you don’t, your work may suffer in the long run. If you do, you’re passing up business.

  • Are you willing to participate in the review system (“hobbyist” boards), and all the political crap and drama that comes with it? Many providers use the system to their advantage–they get great reviews and lots of them, and that attracts other reviewers/hobbyists. However, a bad review from some douchebag flexing his “I’m a Very Important Person on this Very Important hobby board” muscles can really hurt you. And don’t think they don’t use that to their advantage.***

  • Do you fit the physical description of the typical “high earner”? Are you white, in your late-20s-to-30s, and conventionally attractive? It’s fucked up, but in general, white providers’ rates are higher than non-white providers’ rates, and conventionally attractive providers generally have higher rates than, say, BBW providers (that’s Gypsy of Chicago, by the way, and she is awesome and has TONS of info on escorting and sex work on her youtube channel). THERE ARE MANY MANY MANY EXCEPTIONS TO THIS “RULE.” It’s purely a generalization, but it’s not totally off-base. Just remember: we all set our own rates. Regardless of your “type,” don’t aim low (unless you really want to). Your time and energy is valuable, and like me, you may prefer quality over quantity.

  • Are you willing to travel (“tour”)? Lots of girls tour. While it looks kinda fun, and from what I understand, it’s often pretty lucrative, it also looks like a big fat risk to me. I don’t like the idea of paying a ton of money to fly to another city, pay for a nice hotel, and then wait around for clients who end up needing to cancel. Plus, traveling is a pain in the ass for me (I’d have to hire a housesitter/dogsitter, make sure my job doesn’t need me, etc.).



There are all kinds of other factors, and these are just a few of them. I know a provider who has so much business she never goes more than 3 days without a date. I know a provider who works 4-5 times a week. I know a provider who prefers multi-hour dates, and may only work once a week. I know a provider who only works when she’s in a financial bind, which might happen a few times a year, but definitely isn’t a regular thing. It really all depends on your goals and the type of clients you target.

And of course, the rules change based on the city you’re in. Would you make more money in New York City? Probably. But I have friends who work in NYC or have in the past, and their expenses sound…burdensome. As for me, I’d rather stay right here in New Orleans and work as much as I like, no more, no less ;)



***Yes, yes, yes, I understand #NotAllHobbyists do this. Most are perfectly nice people, but power-hungry, bitter people exist, and they have a right to pay for VIP membership on a website, too.

PS: Here’s a pic of my butt my friend took the other day. Real pics to come, this was just a casual snapshot :)

Corset and Stockings and Butt, oh my! - Annie, New Orleans Courtesan and GFE Escort, in a black corset, black panties, and a pair of thigh-high black stockings.

Posted on

Ask Annie: Client of Escort Wants “Girlfriend” Not “Girlfriend Experience”

Twitter Poll - Client wants escort to be girlfriend

A reader sent a question in the other day dealing with the topic of the escort/client relationship and how to deal with any inconvenient “feelings” that may develop:

I just found your blog here and think it’s great. I’m not new and don’t easily open up to people. I’ve been seeing a provider about the same age as me very regularly for the past several months and feel like we have developed a special relationship. I would like to broach the subject of a relationship outside of her profession but don’t want to ruin a good thing and am a little scared of rejection. I’m not looking to try and “rescue” her or anything. She is a very competent woman and doesn’t need rescuing from anything. She truly enjoys her calling and I wouldn’t ask her to stop doing something she enjoys. I’ve thought about just not seeing her anymore to save myself some heartache down the road. I would appreciate your thoughts and perspective.

Signed,
Reasonable but Torn

Dear Reasonable,

So, I know how I would answer this, but of course, I can’t speak for every escort,, nor are my clients represent all clients. So, naturally, I turned to the escorts of Twitter for advice.

As you probably know (but just in case you don’t), Twitter only allows you a limited number of characters per “tweet” (post). The same goes for Twitter polls. So, I had to present a significantly abridged version of the situation in order to get my point across in such a tight space. Here’s what I hope people understood:

Question: Escorts: If a client feels he has a “special connection” with an escort close in age to him, should he attempt to pursue a romantic (non-escort/client) relationship with her?

  • Yes. The client should ask her out.
  • No. I appreciate and enjoy my clients, but that would be inappropriate and I never, ever want a client to suggest a non-professional relationship.
  • If he believes the feeling is mutual, then he should wait for her to initiate a romantic relationship.
  • Something else (please explain).



117 ladies were up to the task. Here are the results:

Screenshot here, just in case.

Soooo that’s pretty much what I was expecting. Not a whole lot of us want our clients to pursue a non-professional relationship with us.

The Danger in Having a “Regular Escort”

I talked about this a little bit when a client wrote to me asking whether I thought it was better for clients to see a variety of providers or to stick with one “regular” escort (spoiler alert: it depends on the individual client’s needs and his reasons for going the “escort” route). That client was interested in the intimacy and connection that’s only possible when you’ve known someone for longer than a few minutes or hours, but he wasn’t interested in having an actual girlfriend–just the “Girlfriend Experience.” And, most importantly, he “(understood) the basis of the provider/client relationship.” In other words, he was committed to maintaining boundaries, respecting the relationship for what it was, and not trying to make it into something more.

As for him, well…I know him, and I know his situation, and I’m pretty sure he can be trusted not to deviate from those intentions. But anything’s possible, I guess, and that’s one of the risks of choosing the “regular escort” route instead of the “variety is the spice of blah blah blah” route. Feelings can develop. Endorphins, familiarity, sex, and oxytocin are funny things, and they can interfere with the plans we came up with back when we were thinking rationally.

A Question of Authenticity

This is a tough topic for me to discuss because these relationships are unique–every relationship is–and I don’t want to be misunderstood. I don’t know you, and I don’t know the escort you’ve been meeting with, but I’m willing to bet that the special connection you feel with her is real. The fact that these relationships involve financial compensation doesn’t make us unfeeling automatons (Automatonettes? Like a Motown girl-bot group?). Sure, there are probably some girls out there who can “fake it” pretty well, but you also mentioned that you’re a regular client of hers. Very few escorts are willing or able to maintain the illusion of a real, deep connection with someone regularly, continually, and indefinitely. It would just be too labor intensive. Either you like someone, or you don’t; either you get along and “connect,” or you don’t. If you’re only going to be in their presence for an hour and then never see them again, it’s not all that difficult to overlook a personality conflict and pretend it doesn’t exist. But if it’s someone you’re seeing regularly, without any plan to end contact? Not so much.

So, it’s a real connection. You like her, she likes you. It’s understandable that you might start considering making it “real”–less “GFE” and more “GF.”

Boundaries

And that’s why we need to be really, really clear on boundaries before we enter this little subculture, whether we’re entering as escorts or clients. A huge advantage to this type of relationship (perhaps the main advantage) is its lack of complexity. These relationships are clearly delineated and can therefore be (more) easily compartmentalized: Yes, I will be your lover, your partner, your friend–within the confines of the time we’ve agreed upon. After that we part, and you don’t have to think about, interact with, or acknowledge me. The time we spent together and the experiences we had are ours and ours alone, separate from the lives we lead on the “outside,” and therefore the intimacy we shared doesn’t pose any threat to or conflict with with your life, the people in it, and the responsibilities it entails.

And clients should respect those same boundaries for the escort(s) they meet with. She too has a life outside of the experiences she has with you–she has friends, family, responsibilities, hopes, desires, goals, problems, heartache, struggles. She may or may not have children, or a partner, or a “straight job.” Regardless, she (presumably) became an escort as a means of supporting herself, and hopefully she chose escorting because, out of the options available to her, this was the one that seemed most enjoyable and best fit her needs. Very, very few of us become escorts because we want to find someone to love. And when you offer that to her, you put her in an exceedingly awkward position of having to remind you of that.

Heartbreaking, I know. I’m sorry.

…But wait!!


If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

So, this girl is fantastic, right? Your absolute dream woman–beautiful, sweet, affectionate, funny, always horny, and great in the sack. And the best part is, she actually *gets you* and LIKES YOU!

It sounds like you’ve got a great thing going. That’s something that not a lot of people get to enjoy, and here you are, luxuriating in that type of intimacy on the regular. So…why do you want change it?

You acknowledged this when you said you “didn’t want to ruin a good thing,” so I know it’s part of your conundrum, as is the fear of rejection you mentioned. But what if she doesn’t reject you? What if the two of you do become an item? Is that necessarily the “happier ever after” ending/beginning you imagine it to be?


The Difference Between “Girlfriend Experience” and Plain-Old “Girlfriend”

What you’re enjoying right now is probably not what you would have in a non-professional relationship. That’s not to say that this isn’t authentic–it is. But there’s a fundamental difference between “GFE” and “GF”: “As professionals (escorts, professional companions, service providers, whatever), we’re compensated not because we can do something a girlfriend could do, but because we can do something a girlfriend can’t. We provide an idealized Girlfriend Experience: the experience of having an AWESOME girlfriend who is horny and fun and interesting and respectful for the entire time you’re together. A real girlfriend can’t do that. Why? Because you’re around her for more than a few hours. No one can be awesome 24 hours a day. A real girlfriend lives with you (or spends lots of time around you) for days, weeks, months, years. You’ll have serious conflicts. You’ll have minor gripes. Grudges will be held. Disappointments will happen.”

Right now, you’re both on your best behavior, and you don’t have time to get bored, or for your flaws to get on each other’s nerves. So you leave the toilet seat up when you’re at her incall–no big deal; you’re a guy, and guys forget to do that sometimes. But once she’s your girlfriend, there may be hell to pay. Why can’t you just fucking put the toilet seat down?? We’ve been dating for five months and I crash here at least three nights a week and I am so. fucking. tired. of falling into ice-cold toilet water at 4am!!! This is like the TENTH time!! Dammit, John, you’re SO INCONSIDERATE!!!

Yes, it’s a cliche, but it’s a stand-in for all the mundane, boring, irritating conflicts that go on in an normal relationship. You’ll have to change habits to accommodate her (put the damn toilet seat down, don’t leave your underpants on her bedroom floor, quit picking your nose when you think she isn’t looking). And she’ll do things that will bother you as well (rolling her eyes when you ask if you can borrow her car, checking her phone while you’re talking to her, fucking men who aren’t you because it’s her job). And then there are the responsibilities and obligations that come with a relationship. When you share your life with someone in a partnership–or even if you’re just dating long-term-ish–you make room in your life for them. And that means shifting other things around or even letting some go. It means making more of an effort. Is it worth it? For the right person, sure. But it can still be a pain in the ass.

I don’t mean to imply that you don’t actually want what you think you want. I just want you to consider that the Sally you see for an hour or two at a time a couple times a month is not the *whole* Sally in all her complexities as a person. You’re seeing Sally, Curated. And no one can keep that up forever. She’s showing you her best traits and hiding her not-so-great ones until you’ve left. And she’s consciously shaping the relationship the two of you enjoy together: her goal is always to make you happy and satisfied. Were the two of you dating in the traditional sense, that would not always be her goal. Your needs and desires would cease to be more important than (or even as important as) hers, and she would expect much, much more from you.

However.

The Richard Gere to her Julia Roberts? If it’s meant to be…

I’m not going to say it never happens, because it does. Boy, does it. Not for me, but I know several escorts who have dated their clients, with varying results.

Look, maybe she’s just as into you as you are into her, and she’s been fantasizing about a “traditional” romantic relationship with you–heavy on honesty and commitment, free of compensation. Maybe she’s in love and she’s a wreck right now trying to figure out what that means for her, her professional relationship with you, and her professional relationships with her other clients.*

But you can’t be sure. And even if you ARE sure, you still should respect the boundaries that are an integral part of the escort/client relationship. No, I do not think you should pursue a romantic relationship with her. If you truly, truly believe that she wants that with you, then let her make the first move. In other words, leave your balls in her court, heh.

*I know you said that you’re not looking to rescue her, that she enjoys being an escort, and that you wouldn’t ask her to stop working as an escort, but once a significant other is in the picture, that can throw even the happiest hookers for a loop. I know, I’ve been there.

Where Do We Go From Here?

So, what now? You like her a lot, and you want to be around her, but keeping mum about how you feel can be torture. Do you keep scheduling appointments with a girl you have feelings for? Is that fair to you? Is it fair to her? That’s for you to decide, but ultimately, one of the following will happen:

  • You’re going to continue seeing her, and pine for something more.
  • You’re going to recognize that this situation breaks the cardinal rule of the escort/client relationship, take a step back, and maybe start seeing other escorts instead.
  • You’re going to be honest about your feelings, she won’t feel the same way, and she will likely stop meeting with you.
  • She’ll admit she has feelings for you, and the two of you will try the whole relationship thing.

(I’ve listed them according to how likely I think they are to happen).

Whichever you choose, I wish you luck.

Because I don’t pretend to speak for all escorts, here’s what other ladies had to say on the topic:

Danielle Evans (@MeetDanielleE) isn’t opposed to dating an FBSM (Full Body Sensual Massage) client, but she draws the line at an escort client:

Zoe Valentine (@MsZoeValentine) also speaks from experience:


(Twitter abbreviations can be hard to decipher, so just in case you’re lost, “nrg” = energy)

Giselle McPherson (@VIPMcpherson) has seen it work, and she’s also seen it…not work:

And then Melody Memoirs (@MelodysMemoirs) brought up something we haven’t really focused on–the escort’s ability to balance the unique nature of her job and her relationship:


…
Good question.


Hey! I’d especially love to get other opinions on this topic, so please feel free to comment below (you can even do so anonymously, if you prefer).

Posted on

Escorts!! Take my Twitter Poll!

Attention: Escorts – If you had a special connection with a regular client the same age as you, would you want to pursue a relationship with him?

Please help!! I’m trying to answer a question for a client. Respond via Twitter poll, or you can comment anonymously below.

For context, go here: Ask Annie: Client of Escort Wants “Girlfriend” Not “Girlfriend Experience”

Posted on

My thoughts on “No Black Men” and “NBA (No Blacks Allowed)” policies


A few weeks ago, I received the following email:


Good evening Miss Calhoun,

Due to my work I am fortunate enough to be regular visitor to this very lively and storied city of New Orleans. I find its culture and social diversity incredibly inspiring and refreshing. Unfortunately I’ve also found that the city’s acceptance of cultural cooperation and sundry comes to a towering road block when one begins exploring the possibility of retaining a provider. Being relatively new but not completely green to these kind of arrangements I became quickly aware of the circumspection many providers have with concern to dealing with black men, particularly younger black men. I’ve speculated a great many possibilities as to why; knowing many black men having an almost innate instinct to haggle I’d placed that as the primary nuisance. Nevertheless it can be quite dispiriting when delving in attempting to find an adequate match and you see on ad after ad “No Black Men” or “No Black Men” followed by some specific age provision.

Now Miss Calhoun this is not an indictment of you whatsoever and I hope you haven’t taken my note as one to this point. I simply stumbled across your well written blog and had chosen to address you as you seem more than capable of giving me sufficient response.
Continue reading “My thoughts on “No Black Men” and “NBA (No Blacks Allowed)” policies”

Posted on

Transphobia on ECCIE

I finally said something about the rampant transpohobia on ECCIE (<—click that for the full thread):

So. The topic is TS providers.

One thing that really, really bothers me about this board is how transgender-phobic so many of the guys seem to be.

Now, don’t tell anyone this**, but I love sex. LOVE IT. I love sex with men, and I love sex with women. Basically, I like to have sex with people I find attractive. And I’m attracted to a pretty wide range of people, especially if they can make me laugh, or think, or give me a bit of lively conversation. I’ve never had sex with a transgender person, but who knows, I might love that too. But if I don’t, you sure won’t find me criticizing other people who do.

Actually, I know quite a few men who are attracted to (and like to have sex with) transgender women. It’s far more common than some of you might think (yeah, for some reason, my guy friends feel comfortable telling me more or less everything pertaining to their sex life and sexuality). They don’t tell anyone this, of course, because of the stigma attached. They’re afraid of the backlash they may receive from other men.

Case in point:

Review: TS Jennifer: Hell of a Time

I find most of the responses to this review to be pretty mean-spirited and immature, and they don’t reflect well on the commenters. And I wholeheartedly agree with this guy’s comment:

Quote:
Originally Posted by downtownguy View Post
You all should be more respectful in your replies, or just don’t reply. I’m sure these comments cause a lot of people to not post ts reviews. The more reviews the safer we all can be.

and this one:

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeddyRuxpin225 View Post
Some terrible replies in here. People tripping all over themselves to come in and declare “not gay!” or how disgusting this is. It’s this mans personal preference and he shouldn’t be belittled or ostracized for it. This may not be my preference, but I welcome his review and others like it since there is clearly some interest in it.

Let’s hear that again, shall we?

Quote:
It’s this mans personal preference and he shouldn’t be belittled or ostracized for it.

I know this kind of behavior is just mirroring the prevailing attitudes in Real Life, but that doesn’t make it OK (obviously), and I think it’s actually, in a way, worse to perpetuate those attitudes here on the boards. So you find it disgusting? Fine then; don’t read the review–there’s a great big “TS” there in the subject line to let you know this is not the review you’re looking for. But by treating a reviewer in this manner, you’re discouraging other men from reviewing their sessions with TS ladies. And that leads to a dearth of reviews of TS providers on the boards, which makes the boards pretty much useless for any gentlemen looking for that experience. And why do we have the boards at all? Isn’t the whole point to keep the hobby fun, safe, and satisfying for everyone involved?

As it is, most TS ladies wouldn’t be able to get access to the Infoshare if they wanted it. Why? Because they can’t get VP status…because they have no reviews…because board members are shamed if they even admit to having met with a TS provider. No wonder guys don’t want to review them!

By being jerks to guys who review TS providers, you’re not just being immature; you’re denying them the same benefits the rest of us get from the boards: most importantly, a reasonable expectation of safety when an ECCIE-active hobbyist with good references chooses to visit an ECCIE-active provider with good reviews.

So stop with the middle-school-esque “OMG-I’m-sooo-grossed-out-by-who-YOU-like” fest, will ya, gentlemen?

**Yes, I’m joking. Tell everyone!!

For the record, this article by Janet Mock (a trans woman and activist) is what got me started thinking about this so much today: How Society Shames Men Dating Trans Women & How This Affects Our Lives

Posted on

Blue Books and Brothels: Storyville and the Legislation of Morality

A while back I met with a gentleman, and one of the topics that came up in conversation was New Orleans’s “sordid” history–namely, the period from 1897-1917 when the city set up Storyville, a red light district where prostitution was legal.

We discussed my fascination with E. J. Bellocq, a photographer working at that time who, despite earning a living photographing (among other relatively mundane things) Catholic school students’ school pictures, was drawn to the…less wholesome side of New Orleans in his art.  He is now best known for his Storyville Portraits, a collection of photographs of Storyville prostitutes taken around 1912, just five years before Storyville was shut down. These pictures weren’t found until after his death, but they’re wildly popular now–so much so that they have completely overshadowed his other work, such as his photos of the opium dens in what was then New Orleans’s Chinatown (now the CBD).

Clara Miller of Mahogany Hall, Prostitute in New Orleans's Storyville
Anyway, a couple days later, after he’d left town, I got an email from him with a link to this site.  It’s a fun little site with lots of info, but I think the most interesting thing about it is the collection of photographs of Blue Books.  Blue Books were basically guides to Storyvile–like the Eros-nola.com of paper.

It’s striking how similar the Blue Books are to the advertising methods used in the industry today.  Look at Clara Miller’s ad–her main selling points are her lovely disposition, her worldly (she’s traveled to Europe) yet relateable (she’s a local girl born near Baton Rouge) personal history, and her eagerness to please (she “can sit up all night if necessary”).  And of course, she’s a beautiful octaroon.  Sounds a lot like an elite professional companion, seeking extended dates, no?

I love the intro, in which the publishers swear that the listings contained in the book are truthful representations of the ladies and services they advertise.  “This book contains nothing but Facts,” they write.  Oh, I wonder how many men were duped by the ol’ bait-and-switch back then.  The predominant business structure in Storyville was the brothel arrangement, where several women worked in a house under a single owner/employer. It was basically the equivalent to today’s agencies. And the brothel owners (Madams) could really submit whatever information, real or false, they believed would attract customers (is this sounding familiar yet?).  I hope they made sure the girls had a chance to read the ads first!


And on that topic, what of the bait-and-switch?  Back then, since the business was legal, I guess situations like that one were much less problematic–it was just a matter of the gentleman saying, “No, thank you, that’s not what I was expecting,” and moving on to the next available lady that struck his fancy.

And what of brothels?  There weren’t really any “independent escorts” in those days; women worked for business owners, who charged them a fee for the room, the advertising, security, etc. (again, like an agency).  This is one of the reasons I’m against “legalizing” sex work–once there are strict regulations, we basically lose all control over how and where we work, and what we do with our own bodies.  Look at the situation in Nevada.  Sure, the brothels are legal, but the women working in them are dehumanized to the point that they are simply equipment, and the laws are such that the person who benefits most from their work is the employer (brothel owner).  The women are not permitted to leave the property (?!????!!!!!??), they are subjected to–and charged for–weekly medical exams*, they must pay rent, a flat grocery fee (regardless of what they eat), and several other miscellaneous fees for services and items they are forced to buy, and they are forced to directly compete with the women they must work and live with for the duration of their stay.  And before they receive their paychecks, the employer takes (from what I understand) about half of their earnings.
Continue reading “Blue Books and Brothels: Storyville and the Legislation of Morality”