You Like Me! You Really Like Me!!



(Ok, so it turns out that’s not exactly what she says…)

Of course they liked you! Come on, who doesn’t love Sally Field?

Anyway…I had a similar experience a few days ago, thanks to someone out there who apparently believes I’m fit to be included in a group of 31 American escorts who are “uniquely sexy…who could say so in new words…who share a similar wit, whim, and joie de vivre.”

Here’s what happened: I was checkin’ the ‘ol website traffic stats (yes, I do that), and I noticed that I had gotten a relatively high number of visits from a site I didn’t recognize. Since 1) I’m nosy, and 2) I love to be flattered, I clicked on over, figuring someone must have linked to my site in a gushing blog post about what an absolutely amazing genius I am. But I instead landed on CameoLover.com.

The creator of the website, “Ana,” is evidently an escort herself, as she mentions that her clients felt frustrated by what she refers to as “flashy ads, vulgar stories, generic texts, (and) impersonal numbers” and “generic writing” found on the usual listing sites. So, she created her own. It’s essentially a collection of escort websites, and not much more. The hree links on the right sidebar make it easy to peruse the collection, bookmark websites you like, and can contact anyone you find interesting. There are no ads or listings per se; the site is more like a carefully curated virtual art museum…except with escort websites. No, I’m not a shill for this site, and no, I didn’t create it, but I do think you should check it out. I’m sure you’ll agree this is something very new and very different.

And “Ana” (I’m not sure if this is a webmaster pseudonym, or if she uses this name when seeing clients) promises that it will always be free. “Free,” as in, “No, an escort cannot pay a nominal fee to have her website included in the collection.” Each of the sites listed has been selected because it meets a higher standard–one that can’t be met by simply whipping out a credit card.

This is almost as cool as when I found this, lol.

Update: Website is now gone, boo. Pretty sure this had something to do with legal blah blah blah. Ah, well.

So I just read “The Dark Arts” by Ben Marcus…

This is easily the best piece of short fiction I’ve read in years.  

I’ve read a ton of great fiction in my day, but wow.  This story floored me in a way that I can’t remember happening in a very long time, probably since undergrad.  Not that I’m not routinely impressed and affected by great writing (I am); I read a lot of work by contemporary writers and occasionally revisit my old favorites, and I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by artists (literary, visual, musical, performance, etc) who continually surprise and inspire me with their talent.  But damn, sometimes something just knocks you on your ass and you think, wow, this person just reached up into my gut and punched me in the brain…and it was good.

I got that feeling when I read this:

“Instead, Julian was stuck with whiny, nasal English, in which every word was a spoiled complaint, a bit of pouting. In English, no matter what you said, you sounded like a coddled human mascot with a giant head asking to have his wiener petted. Because you were lonely. Because you were scared. And your wiener would feel so much better if someone petted it. How freakishly impolite, how shameful, to let these things be revealed by one’s language. At least overseas he didn’t speak much English. He didn’t speak much anything.”

“The Dark Arts” by Ben Marcus (from the May 30 issue of The New Yorker)

(sidenote: shoutout to this blog, which I like to check after I’ve read a particularly good–or particularly unsatisfying–story in TNY. I’m happy to say we’re in agreement on this one.)

P.S.:  Thank you for the subscription.  You know who you are.

Hah! Listen up, Ignorant Misogynists: Jezebel’s Primer on What Sex Really Does to Your Vagina and…



Because I’m so freaking tired of hearing ignorant, misogynistic jokes about women who enjoy sex regularly, and/or mothers (who have had vaginal births) having “worn out” or “loose” vaginas, allow me to present, for your reading pleasure:

A brief lesson in anatomy:


It’s not the Hallway’s Fault: Jezebel’s Primer on What Sex Really Does (and Doesn’t Do) to Your Vagina and Butthole

You’re welcome!

<3 Annie

Any New Yorkers Interested in a Gorgeous Fetish-Friendly Sexpert / Escort from London??



So, I know I’ve mentioned my escort friend Lydia in London before.

Lydia is a self-described “bright, articulate English woman…available for personal visits from gentlemen, ladies and couples ” with “beautiful bouncy boobs (all natural!) a curvy body, lovely legs, pretty blue eyes and an enthusiasm for sex.”

Sidenote: See great pics of those beautiful, British, bouncy boobs here.

What I  find most intriguing about Lydia, though (besides her boobalicious, boobtastic boobs, lol), is her interest in a variety of fetish, fantasy, and miscellaneous kinky activities–check out her list; you may see something you like! Whether you’re a vanilla-sex-eschewing kink connoisseur or just a newbie curious to explore (omg that rhymed!), Lydia’s bound to offer something you’ll enjoy.

Anyway, as she discusses in a recent blog post, she’s thinking of visiting New York this year in November or December, and she’s looking to set up appointments with interested clients there while she’s on vacation er, “holiday,” as she would say.

Personally, I think she should come to New Orleans. But I guess New York has a certain allure, especially to those across the pond. I have more than a few British friends who, when considering a trip to the good ol’ US of A, steadfastly and without hesitation selected New York as their host city (despite my exceedingly unselfish, level-headed, unbiased contention that New Orleans is warmer, less expensive, more laid back, arguably more beautiful with a more unique cultural appeal, and just plain better, darn it!*).

So, if you think you might be in New York in November or December and you’d like to meet up with Lydia, be sure to check out her website and contact her at minxylydia@hotmail.com for more info!!

*grumble grumble grumble… ;)

“Valentine” (Short Fiction)

Yesterday at the gym, I pulled out my trusty New Yorker, turned immediately to the short fiction for this week, and began reading Tessa Hadley’s short story “Valentine.” I really enjoyed it–so much so that I ended up losing track of time and putting in an extra-long workout, and then I went home and read the critique here (and commented, because I can’t keep my opinion re: fiction to myself, haha). If you haven’t already, you really should pick up this issue if you get a chance, just for this story. For me, it provoked something like a bittersweet nostalgia: it’s about young love, young sex, young disappointment, and lots of other things that seem especially momentous when it’s your first time experiencing them.

And now I’m headed out to French Quarter Fest! Have a great weekend, all!

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It – Mayan Calendar Ends Tonight!

I love these end-of-the-world scares.  First Y2K, then the Rapture, and now the end of the Mayan calendar (AKA “Official ‘Non-Mayan People Think The World Ends When They Run Out Of Pages In Their DayPlanners’ Day”).  I love how everyone gets all nervous and excited and there are fun theme parties and awesome songs like this one are ubiquitous.

Enjoy!!

 

The lyrics (I can’t find an official source, unfortunately :( ):

Short Stories (Fiction) in The New Yorker

I’m not the biggest fan of the gym, so I make it more enjoyable by bringing along an issue of The New Yorker (one of my lovely clients bought me a subscription!) so that I can read the short fiction while I work out. It works pretty well.

So I found a cool blog: New Yorker Story Critiques

And now, when I finish a story, I get out my phone and look at the blog to see what they thought. So I guess this blog is indirectly contributing to my overall health, seeing as I end up staying on the elliptical for a few extra minutes, lol.

My Screening Practices Explained, Part 2: P411, Date-Check, TER, and References

 

**This is Part 2 of a three-part series explaining some of the most common screening methods escorts, providers, and other adult entertainers use to ensure safety and discretion with clients.**

 

(continued from My Screening Practices Explained, Part 1: Just Google Me, Baby!)

Soooo…

Screening Sites

In addition to the identity verification system I outlined in Part 1, I do, like many other providers, accept provider references and use P411 as part of my screening process, but I no longer accept Date-Check.

escort screening site preferred411 P411
P411 logo: Kinda looks like a logo for some kind of feminine hygiene product, doesn’t it?

P411 (or Preferred 411, if you want to be fancy and call it by its full name) is a site where clients network with providers. Basically, providers vouch for clients.

This is how it works: A provider meets with a client, and then she reports back to the site regarding whether the client is safe to meet with or not. If she feels that he was a gentleman, she will indicate that. This is called an “Okay.” If she felt that her safety was jeopardized by meeting with him, she will report him. The next time he decides to meet with a provider, she can check the “Okays” he has been given, and then contact those providers for further details. Using this system, providers can quickly and easily vet potential clients based on how other providers felt after sessions with him.

date check is terrible
Date-Check.com: Really, Date-Check? Neon yellow and fire-engine red print on a bright purple background? My eyes, my eyes!! It burns!!!!

Date-Check is similar, just uglier and clunkier. Seriously, it looks like they jumped into a time machine, traveled back to 1998, and asked a 7-year-old with a drug problem to design that website. It’s a mess. Also, the admins/owners of that site are…not the brightest of the bunch. For example, at the moment they have me listed as “retired.” Why? Because I had the gall to tell them that, if they were going require me to pay them for access to their site (a site whose main revenue comes from the traffic and paid subscriptions of clients who are searching for escorts), then they needed to pay me for access to my photos and content. You see, they elected to keep my photos, content, contact info on their site after notifying me that my account was no longer free. I’m not OK with a company using my material to pull traffic to their site and giving me nothing in return, so I asked them to restore my account or remove my profile. Somehow, they understood that as, “I’m quitting the business.” Um, no.

There are several other websites similar to these. Different sites are more popular in different locations. For example, Room Service 2000 (RoomService2000.com) is popular in Chicago. P411 is probably the most widely used in New Orleans.

Provider References

I do ask for references from clients (click here for a detailed explanation of how that works). No, this doesn’t mean I want to hear from your thesis director or your boss. This means I would like to personally contact (through email or phone) two or three providers you’ve met with. I’ll talk to that provider, and I’ll ask her a few questions that will (hopefully) let me know I will be safe and comfortable in the client’s presence, and that we will be compatible.

TER Whitelist – The Erotic Review Client Whitelist

Continue reading “My Screening Practices Explained, Part 2: P411, Date-Check, TER, and References”

Blue Books and Brothels: Storyville and the Legislation of Morality

A while back I met with a gentleman, and one of the topics that came up in conversation was New Orleans’s “sordid” history–namely, the period from 1897-1917 when the city set up Storyville, a red light district where prostitution was legal.

We discussed my fascination with E. J. Bellocq, a photographer working at that time who, despite earning a living photographing (among other relatively mundane things) Catholic school students’ school pictures, was drawn to the…less wholesome side of New Orleans in his art.  He is now best known for his Storyville Portraits, a collection of photographs of Storyville prostitutes taken around 1912, just five years before Storyville was shut down. These pictures weren’t found until after his death, but they’re wildly popular now–so much so that they have completely overshadowed his other work, such as his photos of the opium dens in what was then New Orleans’s Chinatown (now the CBD).

Clara Miller of Mahogany Hall, Prostitute in New Orleans's Storyville
Anyway, a couple days later, after he’d left town, I got an email from him with a link to this site.  It’s a fun little site with lots of info, but I think the most interesting thing about it is the collection of photographs of Blue Books.  Blue Books were basically guides to Storyvile–like the Eros-nola.com of paper.

It’s striking how similar the Blue Books are to the advertising methods used in the industry today.  Look at Clara Miller’s ad–her main selling points are her lovely disposition, her worldly (she’s traveled to Europe) yet relateable (she’s a local girl born near Baton Rouge) personal history, and her eagerness to please (she “can sit up all night if necessary”).  And of course, she’s a beautiful octaroon.  Sounds a lot like an elite professional companion, seeking extended dates, no?

I love the intro, in which the publishers swear that the listings contained in the book are truthful representations of the ladies and services they advertise.  “This book contains nothing but Facts,” they write.  Oh, I wonder how many men were duped by the ol’ bait-and-switch back then.  The predominant business structure in Storyville was the brothel arrangement, where several women worked in a house under a single owner/employer. It was basically the equivalent to today’s agencies. And the brothel owners (Madams) could really submit whatever information, real or false, they believed would attract customers (is this sounding familiar yet?).  I hope they made sure the girls had a chance to read the ads first!


And on that topic, what of the bait-and-switch?  Back then, since the business was legal, I guess situations like that one were much less problematic–it was just a matter of the gentleman saying, “No, thank you, that’s not what I was expecting,” and moving on to the next available lady that struck his fancy.

And what of brothels?  There weren’t really any “independent escorts” in those days; women worked for business owners, who charged them a fee for the room, the advertising, security, etc. (again, like an agency).  This is one of the reasons I’m against “legalizing” sex work–once there are strict regulations, we basically lose all control over how and where we work, and what we do with our own bodies.  Look at the situation in Nevada.  Sure, the brothels are legal, but the women working in them are dehumanized to the point that they are simply equipment, and the laws are such that the person who benefits most from their work is the employer (brothel owner).  The women are not permitted to leave the property (?!????!!!!!??), they are subjected to–and charged for–weekly medical exams*, they must pay rent, a flat grocery fee (regardless of what they eat), and several other miscellaneous fees for services and items they are forced to buy, and they are forced to directly compete with the women they must work and live with for the duration of their stay.  And before they receive their paychecks, the employer takes (from what I understand) about half of their earnings.
Continue reading “Blue Books and Brothels: Storyville and the Legislation of Morality”

New Links and Lovely Ladies I Admire

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out the set of links on the right side of this page labeled “Other Companion Blogs.” These blogs are authored by ladies I admire for their intellect, sensuality, and wit, and I think they’re worth a read. If you know of any other interesting blogs (by escorts or otherwise), please feel free to suggest them here–or you can contact me privately, if you’re too shy to do so out in the open. ;)

I’ve also updated my Links page. In addition to adding a link to the SWOP-NOLA website, I also posted links to Cecilia Dahl, Minxylydia, and Nicole Kelly. If you’d like to do a link exchange (of a site OR a blog), please email me!.

Cosmo’s Horrible Sex Tips for Women

My friend just sent me this link, and it had me cracking up. I hadn’t thought about Cosmopolitan magazine in a LONG time, and I had forgotten how downright ludicrous (or should I say lewd-icrous? har de har har) their sex tips are. And that makes up like half of every issue of the magazine!!!

I remember being about fourteen years old and picking up a Cosmo at my older cousin’s house. It was full of sex tips (something along the lines of “100 Tricks to Make Your Man Melt!”). I was a virgin, and not only did I not know a damn thing about what men really like, but I didn’t even realize that (SURPRISE!) men are individuals, and therefore not all men like the same thing. (From the looks of it, the writers at Cosmo haven’t figured this out yet.)

Continue reading “Cosmo’s Horrible Sex Tips for Women”