The Owl Flies at Midnight: Another Employment Verification Option

The questions about screening never end, and sometimes my clients give me fantastic ideas. For instance, the following client proposed a new way for me to screen clients via employment info, without asking them to send emails from their work email account:

Good afternoon Annie. I love all the information you are providing. Your blog is a valuable resources for those who have little to no experience, such as myself.

While I find your email verification idea promising, do you think one would find it acceptable to send an email to a clients work address then at which time the individual could in turn copy said contents of the email and respond with the message from their personal email. The reason being, some businesses track the majority of their emails and by responding to the email being sent to the their work address could sacrifice anonymity for the client.

Thank you in advance for any reply. You are fantastic.

Here’s my reply:

So, if I’m understanding you correctly, what you mean is that the escort would send an email to that said something like this:

Hi there,

The owl flies at midnight.


Then, instead of emailing her back from your work email (, you would use your regular personal email account to send her a message that looks something like this:

Dear Escort’sName,

I got your email at my work account. The message it contained was “The owl flies at midnight.”

Hope to hear from you soon,

This would mean that:

  1. Because you were able to tell her the unique, un-guessable message her email contained, the escort would know that you have access to that account, so therefore you must be the real Daniel Lastname, and
  2. You did this without responding to her from your work account, so there was never a back-and-forth email conversation going through your employer’s server. That way, if your employer is monitoring your email conversations, you can always say, “Yeah, I got that weird email, but I didn’t know what it was about and I didn’t recognize the name of the person who sent it, so I just ignored it. You mean that was a female escort??? Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!!! What did she want with me?!? I’ve never contacted an escort in my life! Shoot, I didn’t even know they existed! I thought they were a myth! Like unicorns and Santa Claus and politicians with integrity!!” etc. etc. etc.

Yes, this type of loophole would work for me. And what a creative solution it is!

Who, What, When, Where? – Scheduling a Date

Hey all,

I know that arranging a meeting can be a daunting task. It really does help simplify things if, when you contact me, you provide:

  • Your name
  • Screening info (see here)
  • The date and time you’d like to meet (and a couple alternatives if possible)
  • The number of hours you’d like to schedule
  • The location you’d like to meet

If you do this, you are pretty much guaranteed to receive an email from me within a day letting you know that I’ve scheduled your appointment and reserved that time for you.

If we have to go back and forth several times before we have everything squared away, your email is likely to get lost in the steady stream of emails I receive daily. You KNOW I require screening, but here’s another thing you might not know: If you’re contacting me in advance, then yes, I will be available. If I get an email inquiry without screening info, or without a real date/time, etc., my response will be to reply to your email asking for that information, because I cannot schedule an appointment until I have it. I will then promptly forget about your incomplete request while I proceed to work my way through the zillion other emails I have in my inbox.

The problem is, I may not remember to check to see if you’ve responded tomorrow.

So, let’s be efficient. Tell me exactly what you want, right off. Give me the info I need, and I will reserve that night for YOU. It’ll be done, and neither of us will have to stress about hammering out the details. And then we can look forward to the time we’ll have together ;)

Can a Client Have “Too Many” P411 “Okays”? – Client Questions

A Question of P411 “Okays” P411 Screenshot Client Okays
So, how many *is* “too many”?
(Screenshot of P411 Escort member’s view of a Client member’s profile)

Continued from the previous post, in which a client asked for advice on a few topics.  I’ve chosen to break them up into separate entries.  In this one, I’ll address a question regarding a client’s number of P411 “Okays.” P411 “Okays” are stamps of approval on the screening website Preferrred411 (commonly referred to as “P411”) by escorts with whom a client has met.

Also, can someone have too many “okays” on P411?

My Answer:

You know, that’s another good question. Ugh, and it’s complicated, too.

Honestly, I’ve had guys with a few hundred P411 Okays contact me, and I will admit that, yes, it did give me pause.

But really, let’s look at this a little more closely: yes, that means the client has met with quite a few escorts. But If I made a decision not to see him based on that fact, I’d be succumbing to the culturally-conditioned whorephobia that I’m so adamantly against. Why does it matter if he generously compensated his last 200 sexual partners for their time? Would it be better if he had met the last 200 girls he slept with in a bar? And, theoretically, if he has 200 Okays on P411, these 200 girls are vouching for him and saying that he’s safe to meet with and won’t cause any trouble. Therefore he is arguably one of the people I should be least worried about. And I’m going to take the same precautions with him as I do with everyone because, ultimately, my safety and well-being is my responsibility.

The Verdict? The more the merrier, in my humble (but sex-positive) opinion.

So no, I don’t think that someone can have “too many” Okays on P411. But I’m not everyone. There may be girls out there who will be turned off by “too many” P411 Okays, but I’m willing to bet this is a knee-jerk response to what society tells us about this business, sex workers, and the clients who pay for their services. You can’t really blame those girls. The idea that sex workers are dirty whores and clients are (only slightly less) dirty whoremongers is deeply ingrained in our culture, and it’s something that even we (sex workers) are vulnerable to sometimes. Either way, “too many” is relative, so I wouldn’t put too much mental energy into worrying about that. My advice is to get an OK from every P411 girl you see. (I *have* heard girls say they don’t like to meet with guys who have no *recent* OKs. I guess they figure that their account might have been taken over by someone else? I’m not sure what their reasoning is.)

A variety of providers vs. a regular escort? – Client Questions

My latest question from a client/reader is on the topic of sampling a variety of escorts vs. repeatedly enjoying a “regular” (a client’s “regular” provider). Read on for the question in his own words, below:

(Y’all, I think I’m doing an advice column now. I kinda love the idea…)

Hi Annie,

I respect you as a professional and appreciate the information on your blog. Plus you’re a really cool person too. I’ve often thought you should start an advice column for hobbyists. ;)

Question – I understand that everyone is different, but do you think it’s better to see a variety of providers or better to find someone that you connect with and become a “regular”? I’m kind of struggling with that now.

I’m not trying to change my life, but I enjoy the connection, the intimacy more than the physical sex. When I see someone I prefer to approach the time together more as a date. That’s why I like to start with drinks and get to know the person before moving on to the fun.
I know variety can be fun, but I’m not sure it’s what I’m looking for.

At the same time I understand the basis of the provider/client relationship. I’m not looking for a girlfriend either.

Do u think there is a middle ground out there?

Also, can someone have too many “okays” on P411?

I know you’re busy, but if you get a chance I’d love to get your perspective.


My response:

Oh wow, that is a really good question…And I just drank a ton of coffee, so honestly, I could write a master’s thesis on this right now. But instead, I’ll just continue reading…

“I’m not trying to change my life, but I enjoy the connection, the intimacy more than the physical sex. When I see someone I prefer to approach the time together more as a date. That’s why I like to start with drinks and get to know the person before moving on to the fun.
I know variety can be fun, but I’m not sure it’s what I’m looking for.”

Well, I think you just answered your question, didn’t you? It sounds like you’re a the kind of guy that might do best to pick someone you like and stick with her.

The Safety in Being a “One-Escort-Man”

There are a lot of advantages to choosing a “regular.” First off, there’s the basic security issue. Once you know someone, you don’t have to go through screening, and neither of you have to fear that the other might be dangerous or otherwise problematic.

Knowing What to Expect

Second, you know what to expect. Sometimes, in an attempt to market their services in an eye-catching manner, people use photos that are outdated (no longer representative of her appearance) or over-edited (inaccurate representation of her appearance). I know that occasionally clients choose to meet with a certain young woman, but due to the fact that they’re incapable of time travel, they end up spending the evening with that same woman, just 15 years and 3 kids later. And that’s not always a total disappointment–I’ve spoken with lots of clients who fully admit that they when first met their ATF (all time favorite), they were expecting a much younger, thinner version of her. But it isn’t always a pleasant surprise. And that’s a problem you avoid when you have a regular go-to girl.


Third, you develop an intimate understanding of each other. Put simply, you know how to turn each other on. She knows what you like, you know what she likes, and you know how to have fun with her.

Client Gifts for his Regular Escort:  Crawfish Champagne Chocolate Envelope

I’m always happy to make new friends, but I’ll admit that being someone’s “regular” escort is AWESOME. There’s a lot to be said for someone who knows you this well ;)

But Then Again…

There are lots of advantages to seeing a variety of girls, too. But I’m going to save that for a blog post, because I’d really like to finish this before the sun goes down, lol.

And then there’s always the middle-of-the-road option for people like me who aren’t very good at choosing. There’s no rule that you can only have one “regular.” Maybe you’d like two or three. Maybe Suzie does it for you on days when you’re stressed to exhaustion, and maybe you like to celebrate with Nancy on those days when everything’s going your way. And if you’re splitting your time between two or more cities, this option makes even more sense.

Successful “Long-Term Arrangements” Require Clear Boundaries

At the same time I understand the basis of the provider/client relationship. I’m not looking for a girlfriend either.

Perfect. You’re coming into this with the right attitude and realistic expectations. That’s what we like. Especially if you’re gravitating more toward the “regular girl” option.

There are clients out there who, after they’ve met with a lady several times, begin to confuse the roles of “girlfriend” and “professional companion.” Boundaries are important. That’s why we’re professionals. People who understand this business get that you can’t distill it down to some pithy one-liner like “Hurr hurr, you don’t pay her for sex, you pay her to leave!” or “Harr harr, only losers who can’t get laid pay for it!” It’s not that simple. And it’s not stupid or insulting to either person involved.

The (Idealized) Girlfriend Experience (GFE)

As professionals (escorts, professional companions, service providers, whatever), we’re compensated not because we can do something a girlfriend could do, but because we can do something a girlfriend can’t. We provide an idealized Girlfriend Experience: the experience of having an AWESOME girlfriend who is horny and fun and interesting and respectful for the entire time you’re together.

A real girlfriend can’t do that. Why? Because you’re around her for more than a few hours. No one can be awesome 24 hours a day. A real girlfriend lives with you (or spends lots of time around you) for days, weeks, months, years. You’ll have serious conflicts. You’ll have minor gripes. Grudges will be held. Disappointments will happen. Working through those things together can strengthen and enrich a relationship and ultimately add to the value and beauty of it.

But let’s be honest. That’s a huge time investment, and a lot of work. And sometimes you just want to skip to the good part–you just want to have uncomplicated fun with a cool girl who’s down to fuck. And that’s why we’re here.

Do u think there is a middle ground out there?

Hah! I’m one step ahead of you. Scroll up.

Also, can someone have too many “okays” on P411?

I’ve decided to answer this question in a separate post.  Check out “Can a Client Have “Too Many” P411 “Okays”? – Client Questions” for my answer.


Escort Screening: No Digital Breadcrumbs? Client Advice

Hey all!  Happy New Year!  Hope 2015 is treating y’all well.  It’s brought some huge changes for little ol’ me.  Some of you know what I’m talking about; some of you don’t.  Don’t worry, I’m fine and nothing terrible has happened.  It’s ultimately a good (actually, awesome and amazing) thing, but it’s going to be to be an exciting, hectic, difficult, and scary few months…wish me luck?

Anyway, let’s get to the topic at hand.  I was going through my email inbox (which I’m pitifully behind on, by the way…sorry, y’all), and I discovered a message I hadn’t previously noticed.  I feel pretty bad for answering it so late, but better late than never, right?

…You know, I should really do an advice column.  I get so many emails from curious readers, and I genuinely do enjoy answering them (when I have the time).  Maybe that should be one of my new projects for 2015?

Here’s the email (sensitive details removed):

I’ve just read your three part blog series concerning the various reference methods you employ for clients. Very informative and helpful I might add. My situation is a bit unique and I wanted to get your take for my best course of action.

Specifically, I’m a newbie with no references to speak of. I am also (**insert profession or organization here**) holding an extremely sensitive position. With that being said, I am very hesitant about providing anything work related, to even include my email address […] Same goes for the data verification websites, as from what I gather, require the same work related information.  

So therein lies my quandary; how do I prove that I’m a respectable and trustworthy person, while at the same time protect my work identity? Is there a way to do so without providing work information, or providing it, but without a digital breadcrumb trail? Or am I screwed in the sense that I will never be able to enjoy the company of a professional companion due to my unique circumstances? Just wanted to get your perspective and recommendation on this, as I know you’re very experienced and knowledgeable in this area. 

Lastly, I want to close by saying that I completely understand the thoroughness of the verification process. To be honest with you, when searching for my first potential provider, I avoid those who don’t utilize such a process.

I’m fully aware you’re a very busy woman but any recommendation no matter how long or short would very much be appreciated. 



Well then, “John,” here’s my answer:

First of all, I’m glad to hear that, in your search for a professional companion, you’re considering her screening requirements a requirement of your own.  That’s smart.  And I can’t really vouch for what the screening sites (like P411, or the ever-terrible and most certainly NOT recommended Date-Check) require, as I’ve never been a client applying for membership to those sites. But to answer your question…

Honestly, your situation is gonna be difficult.  It will require extra effort and/or money on your part.

Here are the options I can think of (and that I’ve used in the past):

  1. You could offer to meet the lady in a public place for an in-person screening.  This would require you both to show up at a public place (think coffee shop, bookstore, etc.), and for you to bring your ID and enough cash to cover her hourly rate (in a gift bag or a birthday card–you’ll be in public, so don’t just had her a wad of bills, obviously).  Sit down for a bit, talk with her, and show her your ID.  She can look at your ID, look at you, and verify that it’s legit. Then, you can part ways, and she can go home and do her research to make sure you’re not some kind of crazy predator.  She can then contact you and schedule a date.

    This method sounds extreme, I know. But you have to account for the fact that it’s rather extreme to expect a woman to meet alone with a man she knows literally nothing about–a man who refuses to provide her with any identifying information about himself. Honestly, when a man refuses to tell me who he is, but he wants me to meet with him alone, I think “What’s he trying to hide?”

    Perhaps there are girls who, upon meeting up with you, would feel comfortable enough to proceed with a date immediately (before returning home to research you and verify that you’re not a predator), but you shouldn’t go into the meeting expecting that.

    I used this method once with a client who was involved in politics.  It worked well for us.

  2. You could go to the source: ask the lady you’re interested in meeting with what you can do to make her comfortable meeting with you. You don’t have to agree to whatever she suggests, of course. But you should listen respectfully before you accept or decline her offer. Remember that the objective here is for her to ensure her own safety. After all, if she feels she’s wandered into a potentially dangerous situation, the date won’t be enjoyable for either of you.
  3. Set up a fake email account and “persona.”  Join a message board like TER or ECCIE.  Start contacting providers that way.  There may be a provider on there who is (unfortunately) lax about screening.  See her.  Be nice, be generous, have fun.  Hope that her recommendation carries weight with other providers.  Hope that, when you use her as a reference and another provider contacts her to make sure you’re cool, she actually responds in a timely manner with a message that says “yes, John’s a safe, fun, great guy.”  Hope that the girl trusts her and meets with you.  See her.  Be nice, be generous, have fun.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  

    Build up a list of references that way.

    There are problems with this option.

    First, you’ll have to set up a profile on a “hobby board.”  If you’re afraid of leaving evidence of your newfound entertainment options/leisure activities, this is pretty much the worst thing a snooping partner/boss/child could find.  Seriously.  Some of the people on those boards are pretty vile, and no one’s beating around the bush (pun intended) as far as subject matter.

    Secondly, you should know that many, many girls do not see guys based solely on references.  The reference system requires us to trust each other.  We’re basically on the honor system, and we’re relying on each other to be honest, charitable, and timely.

    That sounds easy enough, but you have to understand that, if Suzie emails Nancy to ask if Dick is an OK guy, Nancy has to stop what she’s doing, figure out who Dick is, try to remember if he was cool or not, and then compose an email vouching for him.

    The only person who receives an immediate benefit from the exchange is Suzie, who, presumably, now feels safe enough to meet Dick for an hour and leave a few hundred bucks richer.  Yay, Suzie!  Yay, Dick!!

    But what about Nancy?

    Nancy has lost anywhere from 2 to 20 minutes of her time (depending on how good her memory is, whether she has a smartphone with internet access, how fast/accurate she can type, etc.).  And what has Nancy won?  A warm, fuzzy feeling in her heart, because she knows she helped another provider do two things: 1) make an informed decision, and 2) pay her rent.

    But not everyone is motivated by a sense of decency/ethics/responsibility/warm, fuzzy feelings.

    Some people are lazy.  They’ll say, “What’s in it for me?”  And they won’t bother answering.

    Some will say, “I sincerely don’t remember Dick, sorry.”

    And unfortunately, some will say, “Why is Dick trying to schedule a date with the competition?  I should call him and offer him a $50 discount to meet with me instead.”

    Still others will say, “Oh, I’d better answer that email…oh shit!  Darling Offspring, is that peanut butter?  Dammit, don’t paint the dog with peanut butter!”  And then she’ll spend the next hour cleaning peanut butter out of the hair, ears, and nose of both her child and her dog, and she’ll forget she ever read that email reference request.

    So, it’s an imperfect system.  Ideally, we all cooperate for the good of the group–an extended community of sex workers whose work can be quite dangerous (due to criminalization and cultural stigma) if we don’t work together to ensure each individual’s safety.  But the world is full of real people, not ideal cogs in an ideal machine.  And some real people are real assholes.

  4. There are ways to provide work info without a digital breadcrumb trail.  Here’s one of my favorites.

…And that’s all I can think of right now, but I hope it’s helpful…

First Video Blog (Vlog?) Post!

(thanks to a certain lovely gentleman for making this post possible)

Well, I made good on my promise–I recorded my first video blog post yesterday! And I opened the mystery golden rectangle to reveal…well, I guess you’ll just have to watch the video. It’s SFW (as in Safe For Work, meaning it’s G-Rated), though I know some of you would probably prefer otherwise, haha. But I’m an escort, not a porn star…though, when it comes to future careers, I guess I wouldn’t totally rule that one out…

I came up with a low-tech solution for the whole “I probably shouldn’t broadcast my face all over the internet” problem: I simply kept my head out of the frame. This worked out fine right up until I started talking and forgot to sit still, haha. I added a blur, which works for now, but I’d like to find an easier way. Maybe next time I’ll wear a really creepy clown mask and lacy lingerie (kidding, kidding).

By the way–this is a BIG step for me, y’all. I am a huge cameraphobe, and as I’m sure you can tell in the video, I get pretty nervous when there’s a camera on me. But I promised I would do it, so I did. That’s how much I love y’all, hahah.

Maybe if I do a bunch of these, I’ll lose the virtual “stage fright”…

Anyway, here it is:
Continue reading “First Video Blog (Vlog?) Post!”

Today I’m Thankful for Being Spoiled.

Ok so a week ago I noticed that one of you (I’m not naming names, but you know who you are!) had quietly bought me a $500 Amazon Gift Card off my Wishlist several days prior, and I hadn’t even noticed. I thanked him personally, of course, right when I noticed it, and I’ve been working hard at spending that money. But I haven’t mentioned it here yet because I actually didn’t want to write a blog post about it. See, I had this magnificent plan to make a video blog post and show y’all all the stuff I got. That would be fun, right? Also, it would reassure any potential new friends that:

  • Yes, I do exist.
  • Yes, I am the girl in the photos.
  • No, I haven’t gained 200 lbs and a decade of life experience since they were taken.

Well, I’ve run into a couple roadblocks. First off, I haven’t spent all the money yet, and I am slow about making purchases, especially online purchases, because I like to read the product reviews. Also, I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to make a video blog post while also maintaining my anonymity, and I haven’t come up with a creative solution to that yet.

And then, just now, the mail came, and here’s what I found…

Mystery surprise gift from a sweet client - November 26th 2014
Surprise!!! It’s a gold rectangle!!!

I haven’t unwrapped it, and I haven’t checked to see who it’s from. And I haven’t cheated by checking my account to see if the answer’s in there, either. Nope, I’m challenging myself to put my money where my…um, no, that’s gross…hmmm….I’m challenging myself to make good on my plan. I will NOT open this gift until I have a video camera rolling and I’m ready to post the finished product on my blog.

And I am super impatient and REALLY excited to see what this mysterious rectangular surprise gift is, so I promise, that will be soon.

In the meantime, thank you for the lovely gift, whoever you are…but mostly, thanks for thinking of me!

edit: I made a video! Here it is:

Wait, But Why? Escort Screening & Verification 101 for Newbies

I’ve written at length about the “how” of escort screening. Right now I’m going to write a little about the “why.”

(Preface: Sometimes I get carried away. If you’re in a rush, you don’t want to hear about my love of 3-legged dogs and my hatred of mayonnaise, and you just want to be reassured that we’re not performing weird witchcraft rituals with your info or selling it to spammers for .0000000001 cent, scroll on down. I assure you, I DO have a point…)

For the Newbies…

This one’s for all the newbies out there ;)

Continue reading “Wait, But Why? Escort Screening & Verification 101 for Newbies”

The UPS Man Brought Me a Gift…Again!

I’m pretty overwhelmed by the sheer generosity I’ve been the recipient of lately.

This arrived the other day:

I got a gift - a surprise Webcam!!  :)
I got a gift – a surprise Webcam!! :)

Someone sent me a surprise webcam!! I’m not gonna say who. But I will say this: he’s smart and sweet and he’s spoiling me already <3 So, thank you! Thank you thank you thank you! Gracias and Merci and Grazie and Danke! You know who you are ;) (I kept it a secret for a few days because I wanted to have something to post this week, haha.)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, today was a day like any other, except the mailman brought me a completely unexpected gift.

So um…whoever it was who had this new laptop (!!!!!!!!!!!) delivered to me today…


My mind is officially BLOWN.

I…I don’t even…I mean, that’s just the last thing I was expecting to happen today. I cannot get over this, and I will NOT shut up about it (just ask my friends).

Seriously, you are an incredibly generous person and I am so, so grateful for such an amazing surprise. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

And please, please email me. There wasn’t a note attached or anything, so I don’t know who you are. But you’re awesome and I kinda love you right now because OMG SURPRISE NEW LAPTOP!!!!

I’ll write something better when my brain puts itself back together. The shock and the overwhelming awesomeness of today was just too much, hahahaha.

I’m back, I’m bored, and I missed y’all!!

I’d like to apologize for my recent prolonged absence.

No, really. I kind of dropped off the face of the earth there for a few weeks.

Without going into too much detail, I wanted to let everyone know that I recently made a last-minute trip across the country to watch an immediate family member die. This person was estranged from everyone in the family except me for over a decade and had been ill for many years, therefore I have been solely responsible for tying up all of the “loose ends” (paperwork, accounts, bills, legal stuff, etc.) that I now (unfortunately) know come with death. This process has been complicated by the fact that, as his condition declined, he apparently became the victim of identity theft by someone close to him. Anyway, the whole thing has been a nightmare, and for the past few weeks I have put my social life and my dating life on hold so that I could focus on my obligations to him, my daily responsibilities at my workplace, and basic self-care so that I don’t go crazy. Let’s just say I have a new respect for anyone who has ever had to do this while grieving. We should start a club or something. With a secret handshake!!

So, if we had plans, I sincerely apologize. If we were in the process of making plans, please let me know if you are still interested in meeting, because now that I’m back and settled at home, I’m craving some romance and excitement. If not, I totally understand, and please know that my lack of communication was nothing personal. It was simply the result of me prioritizing things that absolutely couldn’t wait, and then recovering from the chaos.

Have a great Thursday ;)


What happens when we part…


What do I do immediately after a date? 

Generally, I change back into jeans and a t-shirt.  Here I am, halfway through the process on Friday evening.

PS:  It was an awesome date.  Thanks for the chocolate and cherries (and, of course, the wine, lol).

Pick up the pace, America.

The US is falling behind, y’all. And by “falling behind,” I mean “is stuck in the freakin’ Dark Ages.” I’m not talking about education, or healthcare, or poverty, or any of the usual suspects. I’m talking about the laws that affect sex workers.

Just the other day I learned that a reporter for the New York Times is doing a story on how sex workers in New Orleans have been affected by Louisiana laws. I immediately thought of the SCAN law (in which a sex worker could end up on the sex offender registry for life for merely offering to engage in any sexual act other than vaginal sex, which were considered “crimes against nature”) ruled unconstitutional a couple years back. That’s progress.

BUT…we’ve got a long, long way to go. For instance, this law would give police more freedom to “hassle” women who they suspect are soliciting. And what might cause police to “suspect” a woman might be soliciting? Basically, loitering…while being a woman…with other women around. Yes, that’s exactly what cops need–more license to “hassle,” intimidate, and threaten women.

And, unfortunately, I doubt it will stop here. In an effort to appear “tough on crime,” politicians will introduce more and more laws that go after easy targets–poor women in poor neighborhoods who find their clients in public, on the streets. It’s so difficult to work on violent crime. But it sure is easy to go after street hookers.

And what’s the intended result? I can only assume it’s an image thing. It sure as hell doesn’t really help anyone involved. I’m eager to read the New York Times article when it’s published, but I’ve got a pretty good idea how sex workers in New Orleans have been affected by Louisiana laws: I’m betting many, many lives have been shattered–clients’ lives included–all because, for some reason, consensual sex is only OK if one person isn’t helping the other person pay her rent. Unless they’re married. Or in a relationship. Hey…but doesn’t that make relationships…oh, nevermind.

Anyway, people talk a lot about legalization, but I find the regulation of sex between consenting adults fundamentally flawed. Therefore, I lean more toward decriminalization, or something close to it. But anything’s better than giving police the right to “hassle” women they think look like sex workers. And in most of the developed world, there IS something better. For example, in Australia, the laws vary across the states, with some states having a “legalize and regulate” approach, and some having something a bit closer to decriminalization, with certain stipulations. But there’s no blanket law that criminalizes people for consensual sex in exchange for gifts, money, car rides (yes, that’s in the bill that’s going to Jindal’s office), or what-have-you.

In some of the western states in Australia, sex work isn’t regulated, other than the fact that brothels are illegal. I’m assuming this is because trafficking and exploitation, if it’s going to happen, is more likely to happen in a brothel, where the trafficked persons might be forbidden from leaving the property. That makes sense. In some of the eastern states, the laws are a bit different. For instance, in the state of New South Wales, sex work is legal and regulated. A client can visit a legal brothel (google it–there are quite a few!), call a legal escort agency, or contact the legal independent escort of his choice–and he can do so with confidence.

Why? Because it’s not some shady process of navigating the mysterious system of an underground subculture cloaked in secrecy so as to avoid attention from LE.

And, of course, this makes it easier for the sex workers themselves. An escort doesn’t have to worry about her life being thrown into tumult because a cop decides to “hassle” her while she’s trying to find clients. She can just show up at her workplace (the brothel), or check in with the manager of her agency, or advertise on the internet, and go from there. Since it’s legal, both client and escort are free meet with confidence that, should one or the other decide to try something shady, the victim doesn’t have to be afraid to seek legal/police protection. Doesn’t that make the whole process easier and safer for sex workers and clients alike??

And isn’t safety our main concern? We’re not talking about a violent crime here. We’re not talking about theft. We’re talking about legislating morality, and our insistence on doing so leads to violence, theft, and the destruction of people’s lives.

So let’s take a step in the direction of the rest of the civilized world, shall we?

Oh no!! I’ve got The Plague!!

Camus - The Plague

I’ve got The Plague!! And it’s on my boobs! Why meeeee???

…Oh. Maybe this is why.

Ok, so which one of y’all gave me The Plague?

Just kidding. I know which one of you it was. Thank you! And, while I appreciate your aversion to snobbishness, I can assure you that, unless you had used subject pronouns as object pronouns (or committed an equally terrible offense), I wouldn’t have judged you to be a snob. But I would like to hear your take on the book. Maybe after I finish reading it?

Thanks again for thinking of me ;)

Oh! And Happy French Quarter Fest to all my local clients and friends. Keep an eye out and you might just see me there…

Shout-Out to a Great Friend and Awesome Provider (or so I’ve heard…)

I’d just like to take this opportunity to recommend a friend of mine, Veronica Rose in New Orleans. She’s a highly reviewed provider, and she’s lots of fun. I met her in March of last year at a picnic here in New Orleans to celebrate International Sex Workers’ Rights Day 2013, and we’ve been friends and dog-walking buddies ever since. We have different styles, interests, and personalities, but there are a few traits we share:

  1. We’re both hilarious.
  2. We both love animals. Dogs, especially. Preferably big ones.
  3. We’re both on the shorter/more petite side. (I’m 5’4″ and she’s 5’1″, which makes me feel super tall when we hang out!)
  4. We’re both pretty damn sexy.
  5. We both LOVE our jobs and the people we get to meet through our work. ;)

She’s super outgoing and fun (and yes, I can vouch for the fact that her pics are accurate and current. I just saw her on Lundi Gras, and I doubt she’s changed much in 8 days). Anyway, if you get a chance, check out her website, and if she sounds like the type of girl you’d like to spend a few hours with, you should give her a call (or shoot her an email, whatever).

As for me? I have a dinner date with her tonight (calm down guys–I mean we’re actually eating dinner at a restaurant. This isn’t a euphemism for some kind of sexy pillow-fight-cunnilingus party, though I can’t blame a guy for fantasizing…). But I get to hang out with her for free. ;)

One of the perqs of the job!

Another Gift!! And What a Perfectly Perplexing Present it is!

I received a gift (again, a surprise!) from one of my now-favorite (we’ve met twice since) clients the other day:

Luigi Serafini's Codex Seraphinianus - a gift from one of New Orleans escort Annie Calhoun's favorite clients ;)
Luigi Serafini’s Codex Seraphinianus

It’s Luigi-Serafini’s Codex Seraphinianus. I had it on my Amazon Wishlist for a while, but I never expected anyone to actually choose this, of all things! I’m so glad he did, though. I think it is the perfect addition to the other books on my coffee table: Bellocq’s Storyville Portraits and this coffee table book about Catholic churches in New Orleans. I love watching people’s faces when they sit down and idly flip through the pages of each, speculating on my choice to display these three books so prominently in my living room, and wondering what in the world that says about me, hahaha.

I love Codex Seraphinianus because it’s such a weird book, and I guess it’s only really a book in the strictest sense of the word. It’s more like a piece of art in book form. Continue reading “Another Gift!! And What a Perfectly Perplexing Present it is!”

The most lovely surprise…

So I’ve been thinking that I should blog more often, and it just so happens that a topic arrived at my doorstep the other day.

The problem is, I didn’t recognize it for what it was. Upon returning from the gym, I found a smallish, unassuming package wrapped in cardboard. I brought it inside, placed it on my desk, and a bee-line for the (much needed) shower. Because I order things online often, I receive a few packages a week, so I’m never surprised to find one waiting for me.

I had a vague idea that it might be a new dog toy I’d ordered off of amazon, and since my dog is pretty spoiled, giving her a new gift/presenting her with a new present (sorry, I couldn’t help myself) wasn’t a priority. But I didn’t realize that this particular package contained something special until last night, when I finally opened it and found… Continue reading “The most lovely surprise…”

My thoughts on “No Black Men” and “NBA (No Blacks Allowed)” policies

A few weeks ago, I received the following email:

Good evening Miss Calhoun,

Due to my work I am fortunate enough to be regular visitor to this very lively and storied city of New Orleans. I find its culture and social diversity incredibly inspiring and refreshing. Unfortunately I’ve also found that the city’s acceptance of cultural cooperation and sundry comes to a towering road block when one begins exploring the possibility of retaining a provider. Being relatively new but not completely green to these kind of arrangements I became quickly aware of the circumspection many providers have with concern to dealing with black men, particularly younger black men. I’ve speculated a great many possibilities as to why; knowing many black men having an almost innate instinct to haggle I’d placed that as the primary nuisance. Nevertheless it can be quite dispiriting when delving in attempting to find an adequate match and you see on ad after ad “No Black Men” or “No Black Men” followed by some specific age provision.

Now Miss Calhoun this is not an indictment of you whatsoever and I hope you haven’t taken my note as one to this point. I simply stumbled across your well written blog and had chosen to address you as you seem more than capable of giving me sufficient response.
Continue reading “My thoughts on “No Black Men” and “NBA (No Blacks Allowed)” policies”