Ask Annie: Will Younger Escorts See Older Clients? Client Questions & Advice

Happy Lundi Gras, everyone!! I’ve had a chaotic day, and I finally have a chance to sit down and chill. So, I thought I’d answer a question I received from a reader about a week ago. The topic: older gentlemen and escorts. Specifically:


first of all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to generate this enormously helpful blog of information for those of us who know nothing about your profession. Thank You!

And so on to the topic no one wants to think about, older people and sex; Do they actually allow them to do that after 50? I am a gentleman in my mid-60s who lost his wife about 10 years ago to health issues. Without going into a “poor miserable me” diatribe, let me just say that the older you are, the harder it seems to fit into the dating scene, especially if you have no interest in developing another “serious” relationship after half a life time of a wonderful marriage. The fact remains, however, that the loss of a spouse does not necessarily equate to the loss of a mature gentleman’s sex drive. So, in my humble opinion, herein lies the perfect solution; perfectly pragmatic female companionship through professional escorts.

That brings me to my few questions: I notice that most escorts are much younger than me. I don’t normally see an acceptable client age range given on escort’s webpages. So, should I expect to find female escorts who would be willing to accept clients in my age range? My second question regards screening. Having never used an escort’s services, I cannot give references. Also, being retired, I am not able to furnish current employer information for a background check. How would you recommend establishing trust with prospective escorts?

I appreciate your time and indulgence.

Oldy but Goody

Hey, Oldy!!

I am so, so sorry to hear about your wife. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose the person you’ve shared your body, heart, and life with for so many years. It’s understandable that you’d have little interest in building another serious relationship–but lots of interest in recreational boot-knockin’.

As for whether they “actually allow them to do that after 50”: I know you’re kidding, but HELL. YES. Lemme tell you this: practice makes perfect, and generally, the older you are, the more “sexperience” (practice) you’ve accumulated. So there are a lot of things that older gentleman know that many younger gentlemen haven’t figured out yet. Ahem.

Plus: My personal philosophy is that, as long as you’re alive, you’re never too old for sex. The sex you have at age 93 may not be exactly like the sex you had at age 23, but the happiest, most satisfied people are able to grow and adapt to changing situations. We’re all gonna get old sooner or later, if we’re lucky. Don’t let inevitable changes get in the way of the all-important HankyPanky.

So, a few observations:

Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton in "Something's Gotta Give": Sexy AND Older? That's crazy talk, right??
Nope, we don’t let these people do this. Not allowed. At all. Ever. Too. Damn. Old.

“I notice that most escorts are much younger than me.”

Well yes, there are a lot of younger women in the game. But there are also many megawatt hotties (Cat Elliot, Cecilia Dahl, Lea Madisson, and Elisabeth Whispers are just a few escorts I know of who identify as “Mature”) who aren’t SO young that the sight of you in public with one of them on your arm would raise eyebrows. Turn heads and stop traffic? Sure. But the age difference wouldn’t scandalize the masses, unlike a certain other couple who made a bit of a splash this week. Bonus: Remember how I said “practice makes perfect,” and older gentlemen often know things that the younger gents have yet to learn? I can only assume it’s the same for ladies…

But I know that wasn’t really your question. So, moving on:

Will younger escorts see older clients?

I don’t normally see an acceptable client age range given on escort’s webpages. So, should I expect to find female escorts who would be willing to accept clients in my age range?

You know, that really depends on the escort. But you’re doing everything right: you’re checking their websites and doing research in a due-diligence effort to determine whether you make the cut. If she doesn’t explicitly state that clients must be under a certain age in order to be eligible for a date with her, I would assume she’d be happy to meet with older guys. Honestly, I don’t know any escorts who refuse clients simply because they happen to be older.* But, when in doubt, you can always email her and ask.

*I do, however, know of several escorts who will not meet with younger clients.

Next up: screening!

Screening: Special Cases

Having never used an escort’s services, I cannot give references. Also, being retired, I am not able to furnish current employer information for a background check. How would you recommend establishing trust with prospective escorts?

So, here’s the thing with screening: the vast majority of newbies think they’re a “special case” (“But I’m married!” “But I have a Really Important job!!” etc.), and they are absolutely, capital-W Wrong.

You, however, are a legitimately Special Case. You can’t be expected to provide references if you’ve never seen an escort. And you can’t provide employer information if you’re now retired. So what’s a guy to do?

  • P411 and Other Escort-Client Screening Sites
  • Well, there are a few options. First, you could join a screening site like P411 ( You are required to provide documentation of your identity (I’m not exactly sure what kind, but I’d assume a state-issued ID or an equivalent) before you are approved and granted access to the site. Once you are approved, you can contact escorts through the site, and if they use P411 as it was intended, they’ll want to confirm that you are indeed that P411 account holder (and you aren’t sharing your account with buddies, or you haven’t sold it to someone who couldn’t get approved, etc.) when they meet you. Once you’ve seen an escort or three (or twenty–whatever, I don’t judge) from P411, you’ll have someone (or several someones) to personally vouch for you–provided you were respectful, gentlemanly, and safe. Then, when you want to meet with a provider who doesn’t use P411, you’ll have references who can vouch for you.

    A caveat: Some of the escorts on P411 will not meet with you until you’ve earned two or more “Okay”s (meaning you’ve met with two escorts who have marked you on the P411 website as safe and “Okay” to meet with). This is a personal preference, and once they can confirm with other ladies that you’re fine and dandy, they’ll consider meeting with you.

  • Non-Traditional/Unorthodox Screening Options
  • There are other options, and different providers will have different requirements that you’ll need to meet before they consider you as a client. I have an option that I offer to SOME “Special Cases,” and it involves certain social media sites or a personal website or blog. I have also accepted a photo of a potential “Special Case” client’s driver’s license when we were scheduling our first date, and then I checked to make sure it was legit when I met with him. I’m really glad I did, because he is awesome and if I hadn’t been flexible (but still thorough) with screening, I never would have met him. And that would have been a shame. So, explain to her what your situation is, and ask her what you can do that would satisfy her need for personal safety. Some providers will work with you to come up with a creative solution; some won’t. But it never hurts to ask ;) Hey, that should be my motto, now that I’m doing this advice column thing!

Well, I’d blather on loquaciously for another hour, but dinner’s ready, and I’m starving. Also, I just used the word “unorthodox” in the context of escort screening. I think I’m done for the night, lol.

— Annie

Update: 3/6/17

A friend on Twitter contacted me to explain his experience with the initial verification and membership approval on P411. Screenshots below; scroll down for transcribed messages. Hope this helps!

Twitter message conversation about what requires for client membership approval: For P411 to approve me, I had to show my water bill in my name I thought that was strange. --Lol it is. Do you mind telling me what else you had to show them? No pressure, it's just helpful info A copy of my (driver's license)...address blanked out. My work (phone number). --But then they wanted your water bill? That has your address on it! No, address blanked matched.. --Ohhh ok --That makes more sense haha They couldn't verify my (phone number)... I googled it. It said owned by XXX. They couldn't verify it. Weird
Twitter message conversation about what P411 ( requires for client membership approval, part 2: Anyway, I didn't renew with them since I don't travel. --So you weren't approved? Yes, I was..water bill did it. How can you not google a phone number? Very odd I was with them 1 year. I has 5 okays...but thought..that's proof of what I was doing.

“For P411 to approve me, I had to show my water bill in my name I thought that was strange.”
–Lol it is. Do you mind telling me what else you had to show them? No pressure, it’s just helpful info
“A copy of my (driver’s license)…address blanked out. My work (phone number).”
–But then they wanted your water bill? That has your address on it!
“No, address blanked out…name matched.”
–Ohhh ok. That makes more sense haha
“They couldn’t verify my (phone number)… I googled it. It said owned by XXXXX. They couldn’t verify it. Weird. Anyway, I didn’t renew with them since I don’t travel.”
–So you weren’t approved?
“Yes, I was…water bill did it. How can you not google a phone number? Very odd. I was with them 1 year. I had 5 okays…but thought…that’s proof of what I was doing.”

Why Do Some Escorts Prefer Older Men? – Client Questions

About a month ago, I received the following email:

Hello Annie,

I have a few questions about setting up a date for the first time and other info.The date is not with you but in general for other companions. I stumbled upon your blog and found it fascinating. I really love your writing style. I read all three of your verification parts. You have alot of info on your blog so I don’t know if you have talked about this info or not. I wanted to know as an absolute newbie how do I make a date with a companion either from Backpage to P411. From the blog I see you are busy and your time is valuable, however I am not looking for a synopsis but an in depth explanation. So let me clarify on my question.

  • First, I wanted to know the etiquette of talking to a companion on the phone.
  • How do introduce myself?

    What can I ask and what can’t I ask?

    How do I ask about making an appointment?

    How do I ask about the donation amount and how they want to receive it?

    How do I ask where to meet whether in call or out?

    How do I know if it is a cop on the other end?

    How do I ask for them to verify me as I have no references?

    (I have read your three verification posts and I had joined P411. I have had my employment verified and have a year subscription. I want to know how to bring it up and respond when they ask about my references.)

  • My next question is on etiquette with the same questions but on email or P411 appointment requests.
  • My third question is I live in [Anytown, USA] and majority ads are on Backpage with out any reviews how do I find out if they are legit or not?( Also any other places I should look for companions other than T.E.R, E.C.C.I.E, and the monkey one in my area.)
  • My fourth question is many of the companions are much older than I am but once they hear my age they want nothing to do with me. How do I get my foot through the door with my age. I am 20 Years old and a big guy. I know my age is young but I go to school and work for a living so I dont have time for relationships. Even though my weight has been a big factor in my dating scene. I still want to experience things while I try to lose my weight. Which is a long journey from now. I am very mature for my age. I am a well mannered person. I keep myself well groomed and clean as is physically possible. As a guy who ways 240lbs image and cleanliness means more than anything possible.
  • My fifth question is if I do finally hit gold. What is the etiquette on the date:
  • What should I wear?

    I haven’t shaved “down there” for a while, but what is the formality. Trim or bare?

    What do I say when I meet them?

    If it’s incall where and how do I place the money? Same for outcall?

    What do I talk about and don’t?

    How do I find out about what they can or don’t do without incriminating myself or sounding like an idiot?

    How do I know if they are a cop, is there certain things they say that a companion would never?

    Who makes the first move and I am a shy person in intimate matters. I have the deed once and that was when I was not sober. I barely remember it. To me that doesn’t really count as an experience. So how do I let them know about my level of expertise in general.

  • My whole goal in finding a companion is not just for my own enjoyment but rather a learning experience for future non companion partners. I want to learn what makes a woman tick. How to please them and give them the pleasure that I can get. How do I let a companion know that I want to learn the ins and outs of pleasing a woman in bed. You know from beginning to end. I am weak in the “length” and physique department so I need some other things in the Arsenal until I fix the physique part lol.
  • Many guys look at companions as their brute right and for their pleasure. But, I literally want to enjoy and learn things on a woman that you could not learn without being in a relationship. Let me know if you think my views on this is achievable and realistic. I have been scouring the Internet but it’s mostly Alpha Males and they’re Triumphs. Your blog is something I have been looking for. A chance of getting info from not a client side but by the companion side.

This is everything that my mind has been searching for on this subject but I have gotten no where. I know I wrote a shit ton lol. It would mean a lot if you helped me. If you need something in return let me know. I am hopeful of your response.

P.S. I know this email is fake. That is to make sure no one stumbles on this email message also please excuse any grammatically and punctuational errors as I have typed and formatted this on my phone. I’m not as good at writing as you are!

Thank You,
[Joe Shmoe]

My Response:

There are a lot of questions here! I’m finally sufficiently inspired to start my escort/client advice client. And fortunately, this one email has provided me with a ton of material. So I’ve chosen to break them up into a few blog entries. Here’s my response to the age-old “old-age” question. Here goes!

Q: Why do some escorts prefer older clients?

A: I suspect it’s because the provider has kids your age and either it seems weird, or she’s afraid you could be a friend of her kids. How awkward would it be if you met a wonderful girl a year or two from now and fell deeply, passionately in love (partially because you’re a fantastic, skilled, generous lover, thanks to all the practice you’ve had with a skilled escort), and when she brought you home to meet her amazing family, you and her mother immediately recognize each other because mom is the one who taught you all those techniques? A sudden and unintended Mrs. Robinson moment.

A Mrs. Robinson moment with you, your girlfriend, and her escort mother.
Sure, it’s sexy in the movie…at first.
This is why some escorts don’t see younger clients.

Yikes. So yeah, besides the absolutely horrifying (and yet…maybe kinda sexy? just a little? kidding, kidding) situation you’d be in, the escort (aka your future mother-in-law) would in quite a pickle herself. I know a lot of ladies with kids have very strict rules set in place so that their children aren’t negatively impacted by their choice of work.

As for ladies who are very young, well, it’s a small world. Perhaps she’s afraid to see very young clients because, since you’re in the same age group, the chances of you having mutual friends are significantly higher.

I know that I do *usually* shy away from very young guys, especially guys under 21, mostly because I’m worried about engaging in ANY adult activity with someone that young. If I arrived and they were drinking, for example, could I be charged with Contributing? And what if they’re actually only 17, but have a really good fake ID?!?! I would be pretty nervous. You seem really mature and like you have a good head on your shoulders though, so I’d probably be OK with meeting with you…

More to come!

More answers from this list of questions: