As you may know, Halloween is kind of a big deal here in New Orleans. Costuming and general mayhem–tomfoolery, hijinx, shenanigans, and especially debauchery–isn’t just encouraged; it’s almost required, to nearly the same extent as Mardi Gras. I guess you could say it’s on par with New Year’s Eve (also a Big Deal in NOLA).
However, I’m in a bit of a predicament. Tonight is Halloween, and I still don’t have a costume. I’m about to head out to hit all the local costume shops in a last-minute attempt to throw something together, but I can’t decide which ultra-offensive, lazy cliché of a costume I should don this year for All Hallow’s Eve. So, I invite you to vote on it. I’ve narrowed it down to two choices.
Stupid, whorephobic, and/or generally misogynistic costume ideas for Halloween:
- Dead Hooker: Hurr hurr because sex workers aren’t people, and a dead hooker stuffed in the trunk of is car are an easy punchline that won’t make normal, respectable folk uncomfortable (unlike “dead kindergarten teacher/nurse. stuffed in the trunk of a car”). Hah!The “Dead Hooker” costume is an especially popular choice among women who have procrastinated for weeks and now, a few hours before the Halloween festivities start, find themselves needing something last-minute. Here’s an example. And another. (For what it’s worth, these girls seem like perfectly nice people, and this “costume” idea is so common that I don’t hold it against them. I’m only singling them out because their pics were some the first that came up when I Googled).
- Geisha Girl: Oh, cool! Asian fetishism and disrespect for highly-trained sex workers? In one costume?!? Sign me up!
True Story: I once went out on a date with a girl who was dressed as a Geisha for Halloween. During said date, she informed me that she had “thought about it and decided that [she] might be OK with dating someone who does what [I] do for a living.” How flattering. :\
Hmmm…decisions, decisions, right? Come on, help a gal out! Give me a little direction here! I’ve posted a poll on Twitter:
It's Halloween!! Help me choose a (last-minute) offensive, clichéd costume! https://t.co/rDxWFSxBdR
— Annie Calhoun (@NOLACourtesan) October 31, 2016
…or you can tell me which you like better (or suggest something else) in the comments section below!