My Summer Vacation

Beach with palm tree and cocktail
Hah! I wish. No, my summer was pretty much the opposite of this.

OK, so I know I’ve been absent for a while, and I’m truly sorry for any frustration that may have caused. But before you read me the riot act, let me just say one thing (and this is the first and last time I’ll say this, because y’all know I absolutely adore you):

I don’t wanna hear it.

It’s not anything you’ve done, and I’m not dealing with any life-shattering tragedy or anything. It’s simply been a long, arduous summer. The past couple months were just a series of complicated, expensive, urgent problems. Here, allow me to list a few:

Summer 2017: A Comedy of Errors

  • As you know, my dog had to have surgery for several tumors, one of which was cancer. That was quite an ordeal, as was her recovery with the Cone of Shame.
  • I realized a few weeks ago that I had made a very, very, very serious mistake with my homeowner’s insurance last year, and I basically spent significantly more than I was supposed to. I was able to get some of the money back, but only after a lot of headaches and regret. And a sizeable chunk of the money is gone forever. That was a real kick in the gut.
  • Short version: I began work on a drainage issue on my property that was causing damage to my house’s foundation. Over the course of the past few months, I’ve done a ton of the physical labor myself–I have moved literally about 15 tons of material with nothing but a shovel and a wheelbarrow. Why? Because there’s no physical way to get heavy machinery into my backyard. Anyway, the issue turned out to be more complicated than we at first thought, and right when the project was almost finished, I realized that someone (not me!) had made a huge mistake, and a lot of the work needed to be torn out and redone. Cue almost two weeks of the runaround. Then it flooded, thereby making the problem so much worse.

    Think about the situation this way: Imagine you’re having your roof repaired. Something goes wrong, and there’s a delay, and your roof is temporarily left half-done. Then it rains. And since your roof is mid-repair, it doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do (keep rain out of your house). That’s a pretty good analogy, I think. Oh, and guess what?
  • It’s not just an analogy–that also happened. Yay!
  • At some point, while doing tons of physical labor, I chipped a tooth. I then proceeded to have an amazing dinner at Antoine’s, where I was treated to probably the best wine I’ve ever had in my life. Red wine. Which, ya know, stains. My dentist was not happy with me. I REGRET NOTHING.
  • That flood I mentioned? Yeah, it was nothing compared to the one that happened August 5th. And yes, I had flood damage to my home. Thankfully, only one room had damage–a small room that’s not elevated like the rest of the house. Too bad I was storing a ton of important stuff in that room. But I’m one of the lucky ones–many homes in the area were badly flooded. I’m grateful, but I’m also a little nervous about what’s to come.
  • On top of everything, my fence collapsed. Because I can’t afford to spend 4 grand on ~70 feet of fence, I’m building the damn thing myself. Digging new post holes is a nightmare, y’all.
Painting: The Hell - Hans Thomas
Okay FINE, it wasn’t that bad.

I’ll admit I brought a lot of this on myself. My New Year’s resolution for 2017 was to finish a few major projects on my house–things that needed to be done and really should have been done long before I even bought the house.

And I have a bit of an obsession with completing things I’ve started. If I begin a project, no matter how complicated it turns out to be, and no matter how harrowing (and expensive!) it becomes, I won’t stop. I won’t let it beat me. It’s the sunk cost fallacy, and it is absolutely irrational and stupid, and I am so, so, so guilty of it.

But! It wasn’t all bad. I’ve learned some pretty valuable lessons:

Lessons Learned Summer 2017

  • Can I drain my flooded backyard with nothing but a really long hose and a VERY basic knowledge of fluid dynamics? You’re damn right I can.
  • When I grow impatient with that method, can I then use three little fountain pumps and several feet of spliced-together old hose and pex and random tubing to quickly drain the rest of it? You betcha!
  • If you shovel literal tons of sand and gravel for a few weeks, your arms/shoulders will start looking pretty sweet.
  • If you shovel literal tons of sand and gravel for a few weeks, wear gloves, dumbass. Your hands will thank you.
  • Just because someone has experience doing something, that doesn’t mean they have experience doing it right. And if they don’t have experience doing it right, then congratulations! You just flushed money down the toilet, and now you have to dismantle their “work” and do it your damned self.
  • New things are scary. Construction is scary. But from now on, I will not be passive and deferential to people I have paid to work on my property. I’ve been in the habit of assuming that the “professional” I’ve hired always knows best, and I should just keep quiet. God forbid I’m seen as a “difficult” customer. But over the past couple months I’ve learned that there are “professionals” who either don’t know best, or they do, but they’ll take advantage of my reluctance to speak up.
  • I really need a f-ing Sawzall.
  • Last but not least: building things, home repairs, and manual labor are HARD WORK. It’s even harder when you’re doing it alone. And when you’re working alone and you’re impatient, you do stupid, dangerous things. But there’s no sense in getting angry that it just took half an hour to do something that would have taken 30 seconds if you had someone there to help. Slow and steady beats frustrated and sloppy every time–and you’ll have fewer smashed fingers in the end.

I’m tired of being dirty and sweaty and covered in bumps and bruises and scrapes and bad sunburns. I’m ready to get back to real life. I took the day off yesterday and had a good long soak in the tub, painted my nails, and didn’t touch a hammer, shovel, impact driver, post hole digger, or any tool whatsoever. I wore pretty lingerie and did my hair and makeup, just for the hell of it. Just for me. And it felt so damn good.

So, I’m back. The bulk of the work is done, but there’s still a substantial bit to go. But that’s OK. I may not finish it tomorrow, but I’ll finish it. In the meantime, there’s more to life than dirt and lumber and tools and literal blood, sweat, and (almost, a few times) tears. I’m just going to have to try something new: patience.

Mea Culpa Mea Culpa Mea Maxima Culpa – Old House Woes

Really bad drywood termite damage and rot in a wall of my historic home

Y’all, I am so sorry I’ve been MIA. I’m gonna be honest here–I haven’t even opened my email inbox in like a week. I feel terrible about this. And the worst thing is, I received such nice gifts over the past week–a Dyson vacuum (OMG OMG OMG I have finally achieved the level of luxury of which I’ve always dreamed!!!), a rain barrel for my backyard (yay water conservation!), an absolutely adorable pair of boots that I can’t wait to wear (pics coming soon, once my legs are suitable for photographing), and something else that I haven’t allowed myself to open yet because I first need apologize for being MIA. So. I am really, really, really sorry for my absence and whatever frustration and inconvenience I may have caused due to my failure to read, much less respond to, my emails in several days. I hope you can forgive me.

You may be wondering WTF I’ve been doing that prevented me from spending a measly little hour or three each day corresponding with clients and potential clients. Well. It’s a long-ish story (isn’t it always?).

First, I got the fantastic idea to clear out the storage room/shed/laundry room in the back of my house. If you don’t know already, I bought a historic home in New Orleans (my hometown) about a year and a half ago. The majority of houses in NOLA are pretty old, so I had experience dealing with the quirks of old houses as a renter. If you’ve ever lived in an older home (I don’t mean a mid-century ranch; I mean a house that’s about 100 years old or more), then you know that they’re a pain in the ass. And I knew this one was going to be a pain in the ass when I first walked through the front door. But, never one to choose the easier option, I fell in love with it and bought it anyway.

So yeah, I decided to clean out this back storage room. And while I was doing that, I figured I might as well move the washer and dryer to a place where they made more sense, even though it meant I’d have to re-do some plumbing stuff. So, I started on that…while also still cleaning out the storage room. Of course this just added to the chaos, but I was still ready and raring to go! So full of vim and vigor! So optimistic! And enjoying all the pain and sweat and filth involved!

dirty girl  3-19-17
You should have seen this outfit by the end of the day…

I’m pretty sure this room qualifies as what’s called a “historic addition”–an add-on to the original house that someone slapped on a long, long time ago. And my house, like houses in many of the oldest neighborhoods in New Orleans, has suffered neglect for the past several decades. As I was throwing things away, wiping down shelves, and moving things around, I realized one wall felt particularly…flimsy.

So, I started pulling down the badly-installed, ugly sheetrock that someone nailed onto the studs sometime in the past 10 or 15 years, and found…

Really bad drywood termite damage and rot in a wall of my historic home
Yep, this sucker’s done for.

…really bad drywood termite damage and rot, all throughout the wall. It’s gonna need to be rebuilt.

That was, of course, a bit of a blow. I hunted for the little buggers, but this appears to be old damage from an old infestation that is no longer active, thank God. But just to be sure, I ordered termiticide and applied it to this portion of the house.

To cheer myself up, I decided to go hunting for the original fireplace in my kitchen. There’s a fireplace in the room on the other side, and if you look up into the chimney you can tell it’s joined up with another behind it. The wall bumps out awkwardly in the kitchen, so I’ve always figured the old fireplace was still there. So I started digging, first at the baseboards, then through a couple layers of plywood, until a little avalanche of dirt fell and I saw brick. Woo hoo! I can’t wait to uncover the whole thing and repair it. I think it’ll look pretty cool. I didn’t take any pics because damn, it looks really gross. There’s decades of dirt and grime in that wall. I’m kind of scared to uncover it alone right now because I’ve heard old fireplaces can collapse on people and man, that would be a stupid way to go. Anyway, at least now I had something to look forward to.

So, I went back to the termite wall. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if the termites had moved on to greener pastures (or more intact 2-by-4s, as it were). One of the walls perpendicular to this one was free of sheetrock and I could see that the studs, etc. were fine. But the sheetrock nailed to the one across from that one–a wall that had once been the exterior wall of the house–made me suspicious. So, I started ripping it down, and I found…

Hidden window

A window!!! Bet you thought I was gonna say “more termites,” huh? Well, I didn’t find any, but I’m having a pro come in anyway. The point is, I have a window I didn’t know about (but kind of suspected, once I had decided to pull the sheetrock down). So at some point this year, I’m takin’ my window back, y’all.

hidden window - my house has a window I didn't know about!
It’s a really weird size, though. Different than all the other windows in the house.
hidden window - my house has a window I didn't know about!
I promise, it’s gonna look really cool when I’m done!

It still looks pretty gross right now, but I promise it’ll be great when I’m done. I need to clean up and repaint the old siding (I’m going to leave it exposed because I think it’ll look a hell of a lot better than sheetrock, plus it maintains some of the historic integrity of the house), and then I’m gonna remove the kitchen cabinets from the other side of that wall and put a window in. That way, my kitchen will look out onto an enclosed porch (it will no longer be a storage/junk room). Oh, and that window will be straight across from my kitchen fireplace, which won’t be hiding behind a stove anymore.

So, it’s been over a week of maintenance, cleaning, assessing damage resulting from years of neglect (grumble grumble), and coming up with various plans to undo some of the “remuddling (a term I’m stealing from this guy, whose blog is awesome, btw) that’s been inflicted upon this poor house over the past century. As it turns out, it’s a pretty difficult (and expensive) task. Ah, if only some moron hadn’t replaced most of the house’s original windows with cheaper windows held up by plastic spring-tension thingies sometime in the 80s–or, for that matter, completely ripped out and walled over the back window, which doesn’t appear to be a standard size. If only they hadn’t decided that drop ceilings were a good idea. If only they hadn’t paved over the brick courtyard/backyard. If only they hadn’t made an awkward mess of the front of the house by bricking over the original facade and the two floor-to-ceiling windows it had.

“Old buildings are not ours. They belong, partly to those who built them, and partly to the generations of mankind who are to follow us.
The dead still have their right in them: That which they labored for … we have no right to obliterate.
What we ourselves have built, we are at liberty to throw down. But what other men gave their strength, and wealth, and life to accomplish, their right over it does not pass away with their death…”

~ John Ruskin 1849

It’s like somebody slapped a coat of spray paint on a Model T and hung a pair of Truck Nutz on the back. And then they snapped off the hood ornament and threw it in the river. And then added hydraulics.

It might take me a really long time, but I’m gonna leave this house in a much better state than what I found it.

I’ve already filled up like 15-20 contractor bags, just in the past several days. And I have to say, as badass and competent and powerful as all this physical labor makes me feel…

I’m over it. I’m ready to feel pretty and sexy again. And I’d kill for a glass of wine and some conversation with someone other than the dogs.

Escorts!! Take my Twitter Poll!

Attention: Escorts – If you had a special connection with a regular client the same age as you, would you want to pursue a relationship with him?

Please help!! I’m trying to answer a question for a client. Respond via Twitter poll, or you can comment anonymously below.

For context, go here: Ask Annie: Client of Escort Wants “Girlfriend” Not “Girlfriend Experience”

My favorite Cam Model AnnabellePoe and my fave Dallas Escort Savannah Grace

Hello all! Just wanted to give a shout-out to a couple friends. One is an escort in Dallas, Tx, and one is a cam model on Both are close friends, and I know both of them In Real Life, so I’m not just shilling for some random hussies–I’m shilling for hussies I love!! So, if you’re looking for an escort in Dallas, consider my friend Savannah Grace. If you’re staying in tonight, check out (one of my most favorite people ever) AnnabellePoe on cam.

Savannah Grace in Dallas (Independent Escort)

So, my friend Savannah Grace is a new-ish escort in Dallas. I first met Savannah about a year ago when she was visiting NOLA. A mutual friend put her in touch with me so we could meet up for a drink while she was in town. Well, she ended up just staying at my place, and I’m glad she did because we got to know each other pretty quickly, and now I have an awesome friend in Dallas! Here’s her website (click the pic!): - Savannah Grace Escort in Dallas Texas

Savannah Grace – Your Luxury Companion – Dallas, Texas

Oh…did I forget to mention that she’s super hot? Because she is, obviously. And also fun. We have a similar quirky sense of humor, but she might be just a little more…boisterous than I am. But just a little ;)

Cam Girl/Cam Model AnnabellePoe

I also wanted to tell y’all about my friend Annabelle, who recently started cam modeling. If you’re not familiar with the “cam girl” world, I encourage you to check it out; it’s fascinating (and apparently, those hot camgirls deal with a lot of the same stigma and ignorance that we escorts do). It’s basically a good old-fashioned “chat-room” (remember those??), except a hot girl is on the screen hosting it via her webcam. It’s free to watch her, but if you make an account and buy “tokens,” you can interact and join in the discussion, participate in games or activities or whatever she’s doing at the moment, tip her when she does something sexy (and Annabelle does do sexy stuff), or even ask her to do a private session, where you can either watch her alone, or you can watch each other via webcams (at least I think that’s how “privates” work–you’d have to ask her). It’s actually a lot of fun; I bought some tokens and I’ve been tipping her all week, lol. If you see someone in there with the name “iheartcostco,” yeah, that’s me, lol.

Anyway, Annabelle and I met years ago through her best friend, and we immediately started hanging out. She’s one of the most treasured people in my life–on my worst days, she can make me laugh, and she’s the perfect person to hang out and eat massive amounts of cheap candy with when your car dies in the Walgreens parking lot at night. This is Annabelle:

AnnabellePoe Cam Girl

AnnabellePoe’s room on MyFreeCams

You can’t tell from the pic, but she has pretty much the perfect body–she’s insanely tall and lean, but with massive boobs. It’s…nice to look at, lol. So go look!

Click that pic above to visit her room. She’s actually in there right now, so if you’re reading this anytime soon, she’ll probably still be around. If not, this is her profile on MyFreeCams: AnnabellePoe on MFC, and she’s @AnnabellePoe77 on Twitter.

December 17th 2016 International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

It’s December 17th, which means it’s International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.

I only have about 18 minutes to finish this blog (and then it’ll be December 18th, which is nothing special, other than the fact that it’s my best friend’s birthday, which is very relevant in my world, but not so much in yours), so I’ll make this quick:

This is real. We are your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and lovers–all of those, past, present, and future. Sex workers are everywhere. Worldwide.

These are the ones we lost in 2016.

Someone you know is a sex worker.

How can YOU fight violence against sex workers?

Well, there’s the obvious: don’t assault, rape, or kill sex workers. But that’s easy, because you, Dear Reader, aren’t the type of person to do that anyway, are you?

But are you the type to laugh at “dead hooker in a trunk” jokes?

Are you the type to perpetuate the “strippers have daddy issues” trope?

Do you support the criminalization of sex work?

Do you perpetuate the harmful stigma surrounding sex work, and the media images that portray us as either sexual deviants or passive victims?

Maybe you should, in your own way–whatever that may look like for YOU–promote the idea that sex workers are people, sex work is real work, and we deserve the same basic respect that is extended to any other people doing any other work.

Even if you’ve never “met with” one of us, look around. Someone you know is a sex worker.

It’s #GivingTuesday! Give to causes you love!

Today is Giving Tuesday, and just in case you’re feeling generous, here are some causes I very passionately support. Click the organization’s name to go to their website to donate.

Bonus: If you schedule an appointment with me today or tomorrow and make a donation of $50 to one of the causes I support, you can take $50 off the total “donation” to me.

  • Youth BreakOUT!

    Their website is getting a makeover right now, but I can vouch for the fact that this is an awesome organization that has been fighting the criminalization of LGBTQ youth in New Orleans for years.

  • Women With a Vison – New Orleans

    You’ve probably heard me talk about them in the past. Here’s a bit about them from their website:

    Women With A Vision, Inc. (WWAV) is a community-based non-profit, founded in 1989 by a grassroots collective of African-American women in response to the spread of HIV/AIDS in communities of color. Created by and for women of color, WWAV is a social justice non-profit that addresses issues faced by women within our community and region. Major areas of focus include Sex Worker Rights, Drug Policy Reform, HIV Positive Women’s Advocacy, and Reproductive Justice outreach.

    Women With a Vision is the organization that ultimately got the Louisiana Crimes Against Nature by Solicitation law–a law that required anyone convicted of offering oral or anal sex for money to register as a sex offender FOR LIFE–changed, and got hundreds of names removed from the sex offender registry. If that’s not a win for sex workers, women, LGBTQ people, and fairness in general, then I don’t know what is. Check out their website for other awesome stuff they do/have done.

  • The Louisiana SPCA

    I love the LA-SPCA. They do everything from low-cost (sometimes free!) spay/neuter and vaccinations, to investigating reports of animal cruelty, to taking down dog fighting rings, to providing free dog food to low-income households or homeless individuals who need to feed the dogs in their care, to taking in unwanted dogs and providing them with food, shelter, medical care, a home if possible, and humane euthanasia if not. I support them because they do the dirty work that is a consequence of other people’s failure to take responsibility for their animals. Also, if you’ve lost a pet and you go up there to make a report and chat with the people at the front counter, you’ll see that, in addition to all the regular work duties they have, they spend their spare minutes of the whole damn day checking Craigslist and various Facebook pages and groups for missing pets in an effort to reunite pets and their owners. That’s pretty damn cool.

  • Humane Society International

    Street dogs are a huge problem in the developing world. Rabies kills tens of thousands of people each year, and the vast majority were infected after being bitten by dogs. Street dogs contribute to unsanitary conditions in places with substandard water and sanitation access, and vehicular accidents (and human deaths and injuries) by roaming the streets.

    And that’s just the effect they have on the human population. I’m not the type to prioritize the needs of animals over those of people, but I do think that we have an ethical obligation to prevent the suffering of the animals we interact with every day. Street dogs die of horrific diseases (in addition to rabies, there are other painful infections like parvovirus, heart worms, distemper, etc.), starvation, traumatic injuries, intentional and unintentional poisonings, and violence perpetrated by humans. But because the dogs are either stray or owned by families for whom spay/neuter and vaccination are cost-prohibitive, no matter how many die, there are always tons more sick, starving animals roaming around. In some countries, citizens are encouraged to shoot strays or kill them in whatever way gets the job done, but this doesn’t come close to solving the problem.

    Humane Society International is working on spay/neuter and vaccination programs for street dogs in developing countries and encouraging better relationships between humans and the street dogs around them. Even if you aren’t a dog person, this is huge: spay/neuter reduces the amount of nuisance animals, and vaccination programs reduce human deaths from rabies. And encouraging empathy for other sentient beings can only have good effects in the community. Everybody wins!

    In addition, Humane Society International works to shut down puppy mills, implement more humane living conditions (and more humane slaughter) for livestock and working animals, and all kinds of other good deeds. Like I said, I am realistic about the plight of animals in the world, but I believe that we should work toward systems that prevent and/or limit the suffering of the animals we eat, use, and profit from. This attitude gets me in trouble with a lot of people, strangely enough.

    Anywayyyyy…on to another organization that promotes a worthy cause that many, many people vehemently oppose:

  • SWOP-USA (Sex Workers Outreach Project USA)

    From their website:

    Sex Workers Outreach Project-USA is a national social justice network dedicated to the fundamental human rights of people involved in the sex trade and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy.

    On the national level, SWOP helps build stronger communities and a stronger movement through technical assistance, funding, and direct support and advocacy. On a local level, our chapters address structural, cultural, and interpersonal violence individuals in the sex trade face by working to change attitudes, change policies, and create alternative community-led systems of support.

    One of these days, the US will come to its senses and decriminalize sex work.** Then, and only then, will all escorts, street sex workers, full-body sensual massage practitioners, fetish pros, et. al. be free to work safely and without fear of exploitation, violence (in the form of not only assault, but arrest/imprisonment as well), or the life-altering affects of being “outed.” Sex workers will have financial opportunities that are currently all but closed to us (home ownership, securing loans, starting small businesses with employees and payroll). Maybe we’ll even be able to unionize for health benefits! Wouldn’t that be something?

    But today is not that day. Until then, we have organizations like SWOP-USA and Desiree Alliance for the purpose of organizing, networking, activism, and advocacy. Oh, and Amnesty International, which supports full decriminalization of sex work.

    **Sidenote: If you’ve never heard me talk about decriminalization of sex work (maybe you’re new here? LOL) and you’d like to read a long, angry screed er…impassioned tirade, check out my Open Rant to Sexwork Prohibitionists Everywhere or my client-prompted explanation of decriminalization vs. legalization.

  • Desiree Alliance

    As I mentioned above, Desiree Alliance is one of the organizations that advocates for sex workers and promotes activism for sex workers’ rights in the US and beyond. They also hold a national conference every two years. I attended the Desiree Alliance conference in Las Vegas soon after I started working as an escort, and it kinda changed my life. From their site:

    Contribute to the Scholarship Fund to assist with Desiree’s commitment to social justice, inclusion and leadership for all sex workers from the most to least marginalized among us. These social justice efforts are central to Desiree’s mission and to the sex worker movement in general. ANY amount is greatly appreciated as a token of your support for social justice in the sex workers movement.

    You can donate to Desiree Alliance here.

More on my “Philanthropy and Causes” page.

Happy Halloween! Help me choose a costume?

Happy Halloween!!

As you may know, Halloween is kind of a big deal here in New Orleans.  Costuming and general mayhem–tomfoolery, hijinx, shenanigans, and especially debauchery–isn’t just encouraged; it’s almost required, to nearly the same extent as Mardi Gras. I guess you could say it’s on par with New Year’s Eve (also a Big Deal in NOLA).

However, I’m in a bit of a predicament. Tonight is Halloween, and I still don’t have a costume. I’m about to head out to hit all the local costume shops in a last-minute attempt to throw something together, but I can’t decide which ultra-offensive, lazy cliché of a costume I should don this year for All Hallow’s Eve. So, I invite you to vote on it. I’ve narrowed it down to two choices.

Stupid, whorephobic, and/or generally misogynistic costume ideas for Halloween:


  • Dead Hooker: Hurr hurr because sex workers aren’t people, and a dead hooker stuffed in the trunk of is car are an easy punchline that won’t make normal, respectable folk uncomfortable (unlike “dead kindergarten teacher/nurse. stuffed in the trunk of a car”). Hah!The “Dead Hooker” costume is an especially popular choice among women who have procrastinated for weeks and now, a few hours before the Halloween festivities start, find themselves needing something last-minute. Here’s an example. And another. (For what it’s worth, these girls seem like perfectly nice people, and this “costume” idea is so common that I don’t hold it against them. I’m only singling them out because their pics were some the first that came up when I Googled).

  • Geisha Girl: Oh, cool! Asian fetishism and disrespect for highly-trained sex workers? In one costume?!? Sign me up!
    Sexy Geisha Girl costume
    So authentic!!

    True Story: I once went out on a date with a girl who was dressed as a Geisha for Halloween. During said date, she informed me that she had “thought about it and decided that [she] might be OK with dating someone who does what [I] do for a living.” How flattering. :\

Hmmm…decisions, decisions, right?  Come on, help a gal out! Give me a little direction here! I’ve posted a poll on Twitter:

…or you can tell me which you like better (or suggest something else) in the comments section below!

Now Offering Doubles with Lily Kat Wood!

Sometimes clients contact me for doubles sessions (sessions with two providers and one client–essentially a “threesome,” if you will), and I’ll admit that I’m thrilled when this happens.  I absolutely LOVE doubles sessions.  Usually, if the client doesn’t already have a lady in mind, I’ll ask him to take a look at some of the ladies on Eros New Orleans and ask whichever lady interests him if she’d like to join us.  If not, then I’ll ask around for him.

However, a few days ago I had the pleasure of meeting Lily Kat Wood (see her Eros ad here, and her TER profile here).

Lily Kat Wood - Escort in New Orleans
Lily Kat Wood (click the pic for her P411 profile)

We met up, had a few drinks, and we really hit it off!  She is gorgeous and classy, and I felt like a real frump next to her–I had biked over to meet her after having worked on a home improvement/art project all day, and I was covered in this gross adhesive stuff and grout, not to mention sweaty from biking in the heat.  She didn’t seem to mind though, lol.

Anyway, we got along well and have a lot in common, and we decided that we’d love to entertain clients together (those who think they can handle both of us at once, that is) here in New Orleans.

So, I’d like to formally announce that she and I are now offering doubles sessions to interested gents.

Are you one of them?

…Will you be our first?  ;)

Ever hear of the Baby Dolls of Mardi Gras? Or Black Storyville?

Some of you might know that one of my personal goals is to never, ever stop learning (this is why I sometimes need to schedule dates around classes I’m taking, even though I’ve finished school).  And some of you might also know that I love local history, especially the history of the “adult professions” in New Orleans. I’ve written a bit about the era of Storyville in New Orleans.

Storyville was the red-light district of New Orleans between 1897 and 1917, and it was just across Rampart Street from the French Quarter. Of course, the “ladies of the evening” had been working in that neighborhood long before then, and its closure didn’t stop them–as Martin Behrman famously stated upon learning that the Navy had ordered the district shut down, “You can make it illegal, but you can’t make it unpopular.” Storyville is, of course, a fascinating topic, and it’s a neverending source of subject matter for a variety of stories and films set in New Orleans, both fiction and nonfiction. But it isn’t the end-all be-all, even for its time period. It’s actually just a small part of the story.

New Orleans is a diverse city, and it always has been. In Storyville, white gentlemen could visit white, black, or creole “ladies of the evening” in small rooms they’d rent called “cribs.” But Black men weren’t allowed to visit these ladies Storyville. In fact, Black men in Storyville were usually there to perform as musicians–they weren’t allowed to play, as it were, with the ladies of Storyville, but they could play for them and their clients.

So, what was a Black gentleman to do? Well, just uptown there was a neighborhood called “Black Storyville” where he could find a lady willing to spend a little time with him for a price. It wasn’t technically legal (like it was in Storyville), but officials turned a blind eye.

A sort of Mardi Gras rivalry between the ladies of Storyville and the ladies of Black Storyville developed, and the Baby Dolls tradition grew out of that.

Book by Kim Marie Vaz - The Baby Dolls
And lucky me! Knowing how much I love local history (especially parts of it that aren’t so well-known), one of my sweet clients bought me a book all about it: The “Baby Dolls”: Breaking the Race and Gender Barriers of the New Orleans Mardi Gras Tradition, by Kim Marie Vaz of Xavier University of Louisiana and published by LSU Press.

It’s a really fun and fascinating read about a subject most people don’t know much about. Highly recommended to anyone who’s interested in learning more about the history of New Orleans, and much appreciated by me. So thank you–you know who you are ;)

Meet the Best Stripper in the House

Just working on my house on this rainy Wednesday, stripping layers and layers of old paint from some old baseboards and trim.

But at least I’ve got some sexy company…

Citristrip is the best stripper in the house--my house!
Some strippers have a bit of an orange cast to them…but this one can really pull it off!


In case you were wondering:  yes, this blog post is mostly an excuse to procrastinate.

Aaaaannnndddd I guess now I’m out of excuses.

Well, back to the grind. Feel free to rescue me from the doldrums of boredom. I assure you, I won’t mind if you steal me away from this for a few hours–it’s really not that sexy.

Would “legalization” lower escort rates? Client Questions

Recently, on one of the local internet forums, I came across the following question from a client. Never one to pass up a conversation even tangentially related to the criminalization of sex work, I started to answer his question, but my explanation quickly grew and kind of veered off-topic. So, I decided to post it here instead.

I wonder though, that if sex work was ever legalized, if the value of your time would decrease? Just a question… As supply increases, demand lowers.

My answer:

This is a great question.  The short answer is “probably.”  But…

Here’s the long answer:

There’s a huge difference between legalization and decriminalization. 


In legalization, our work is legal, but only under certain conditions determined by the state.  The problem with this is…well, just look at Nevada. Well, no. First, let’s look at Storyville.

Historic Marker for Storyville, New Orleans (Red Light District).  Sign reads: "Created 1897 and closed 1917, New Orleans' famous legalized red-light district was in this area.  Among many great jazz musicians on the scene here were "King" Oliver, "Jelly Roll"" Morton, Louis Armstrong, Tony Jackson, and Jimmie Noone."
God forbid we mention of the actual sex workers, whose work was the entire purpose of the district.

Storyville: The “Red Light District” Approach, Exploitation, and a Two-Tiered Legality

As much as we in New Orleans (myself included) romanticize Storyville, New Orleans’s legal red light district between the years of 1897 and 1917, legalized prostitution was similarly problematic back then. Women were only permitted to sell sexual services in one part of town. A girl could not legally, say, meet a client in her own home, negotiate a price, and accept payment for the time she spent with him. The only legal way to accept payment for her erotic labor was to pay a brothel owner/manager in Storyville for the privilege of working there, and pay grossly inflated rent prices to the building owner, who rented out “cribs” (tiny closet-like rooms for the purpose of prostitute/client meetings and transactions) to working girls by the day. Needless to say, lots of people got filthy rich between 1897 and 1917, and most of them weren’t the actual working girls.

OK, now jump forward 100 years and to the West 2,143.9 miles (according to Google Maps), and let’s talk bout Nevada. In a couple of counties, full service sex work is legal, but only in licensed brothels.  Workers must also go buy a license from a government office ($$, and the worker’s information becomes public, btw), and they can only work for a brothel that has permission from the state.  While working for the brothel, they cannot leave the premises.  They must also

  1. pay for rent and meals at the brothel–you’re not allowed to get an apartment or buy your own groceries,
  2. pay for weekly trips for STI tests at a doctor the state has chosen for that purpose,
  3. pay for the van trips to that doctor,
  4. allow the brothel owner to see their medical info before they can,
  5. give up (I think) half their earnings to the brothel owner, and
  6. rely on the brothel owner for pretty much anything they need for work, which means prices are inflated, etc.

Basically, it becomes a get-rich-quick scheme for the state, the brothel owner, the doctor and his/her staff, and everyone but the people doing the actual sexual labor.  Ironically, one of the justifications given for this type of system is that providers need protection from exploitation (“pimps”). So, instead of allowing a provider to work independently (advertising, screening, negotiating with and meeting clients without anyone else interfering in that process), the state requires the use of a 3rd party, who is involved in (and profits from) the transaction.

Criminalization of the Most Vulnerable, Legalization for the Privileged

And let’s not forget the fact that not everyone will be able to afford that license or all the fees required to get start working at the brothel (licensing fees, transportation costs, required brothel-owned transportation service from airport to brothel, required up-front rent, required up-front food money, etc.).  Nor will everyone who wants the job be hired to work in the brothel. 

So basically, there are a few people who can work legally, as long as they give quite a bit of their earnings to a bunch of people who don’t have much to do with the actual work being done.  And everyone else goes to jail if they get caught.

This is only one form of legalization, but it shows how problematic legalization can be. On the surface, it sounds great, especially to those who have no experience working in this business or meeting with escorts. Keep hookers hidden away from good, regular folks in society? Great! Force them to be tested weekly? Awesome–lord knows they’re vectors for disease otherwise! Require that they work under the supervision of a babysitter who knows what’s best for them? Fine idea! Mandate a government-issued license to fuck? Sounds logical to me! (This is sarcasm, in case you can’t tell).

In reality, there are several problems with the “legalization” type of approach. As I said before, those who are most vulnerable (poor people) will not be able to afford to work legally, and will continue to work illegally and suffer the consequences. And providers who may not be the brothel owner’s “type” for whatever reason (race, age, body size, looks) will also not be able to work legally, and will continue to work illegally and suffer the consequences. I don’t think it’s fair to set up a system that punishes poorer, or fatter, or older providers for doing the same thing their wealthier, thinner, younger counterparts are doing, nor is it an improvement on the system we already have.

In addition (and to me, this is the most important part), I think it’s flat-out wrong for the state to legislate who can fuck whom, as long as everyone is of legal age and is consenting. It is absurd to say that it’s OK and legal for consenting adults to have sex for this reason (love, horniness, the desire to get back at an ex, etc.) but not that one (the need to pay one’s rent or phone bill, the desire to buy a fancy new dress, etc.).

Decriminalization: What Sex Workers Want

Now, with decriminalization, it’s no longer illegal to trade sex for money.  You can pay for it.  You can sell it.  As long as both parties are of legal age and consenting, it’s your business.  There will still be certain regulations, of course, but no new laws need to be made, because laws covering those issues already exist. For example, most rational people would object to allowing the buying and selling of sex in a park or at the grocery store. Well, we already have laws prohibiting public nudity and public sex. The same goes for forced sexual labor–we already have laws against rape.

What most individuals working in the world of erotic services want is decriminalization, because then it ceases to be illegal for providers to do the work they do.  And it ceases to be illegal for our clients to…well, to be clients.* All we want is to have the right to have the same sexual encounters that everyone else is free to have without fearing arrest because someone leaves us a little monetary compensation for our time and attention.

*Please don’t confuse decriminalization with the “Nordic Model.” Advocates of the “Nordic Model” will often use the term “decriminalization,” perhaps out of ignorance, or perhaps in an attempt to obfuscate the truth–that the “Nordic Model” is almost universally opposed by sex workers themselves. The “Nordic Model” takes an “end demand” approach–sex workers are no longer criminalized, but clients are. Obviously, that’s a really shitty situation for us–would you want the purchase of your products and/or services to be criminalized? Do you think a doctor’s practice could succeed if it were illegal for patients to visit? What about financial advisers? How profitable would that business be if it were illegal to seek financial advice? What if it were legal to sell alcohol, but not to buy it? Do you think bartenders would feel “safe” and “protected,” or would they just want to go back to slinging beers to their law-abiding customers in peace? You see, we do want to right to work without fear of arrest, but we don’t want our clients to be criminalized. Not only would we have a more difficult time finding clients, but when there’s that much of an imbalance re: risk of arrest (as in, we would be taking no risk by meeting with clients, but they would be risking arrest every time they chose to visit an escort), all kinds of unexpected consequences arise. And of course, the majority of them ultimately put sex workers at risk.

The Rates Question

So, your question was whether our rates will have to drop if and when this work is legalized.  Legalized?  Well…probably not.  Legalization comes with all kinds of “you can do this, but…” caveats, and those caveats cost lots of money.  Those brothels in Nevada?  Those girls’ rates aren’t cheap, unless they’re desperate because they owe the brothel owner $$$.  Decriminalized?  Maybe.  Once there’s no fear of arrest, there will probably be more supply–more people will join the profession.  But remember, there will also be more demand.  Less people will be afraid of visiting a provider.

I have a feeling our rates would have to drop some…or at least, many of us would have to drop our rates somewhat.  However, that’s a small price to pay for being able to work without worrying that you’ll be arrested and lose everything you care about–your home, your day job, custody of your children, maybe even friends and family.  And it would almost certainly be easier to meet with clients safely because I’m betting clients would be more willing to hand over the necessary screening info if they could be sure we weren’t cops posing as providers for a sting.

Equal Power, Equal Protection

Just think about it…No one could threaten to “out” us (clients or providers) to the cops.  If a provider stole from you, you could go directly to the cops and report the incident without them giving you a hard time.  If a provider was sexually (or otherwise) assaulted by someone she met with, she could report it without worrying about being arrested for the type of work she does.

The “But Taxes!!!” Argument

People bring up taxes as justification for legalization. Many, many, many of us already report earnings and pay taxes.  Of course not everyone does, but that’s common in lots of service industry jobs (waiting tables, bartending, etc.) and lots of informal labor (babysitting, cleaning houses, fixing people’s computers in your home, etc.). Decriminalization would make it even easier to do that–either as a business owner (independent provider), or as an employee at an agency or brothel (depending on how it’s done, a provider could be an independent contractor or a regular old employee).  Imagine if doing taxes was as straightforward and easy as walking into one of those tax prep places in a strip mall and saying “I’m an escort. Here are my receipts for the year. I saw this many clients and made this much money and spent this much on advertising and supplies.” So many providers would find it a lot easier to, I dunno, be approved for a mortgage and become property owners so that they have something to show for all the work they’ve done over the years, and a real asset to hand down to their children or to cash in on when they retire. Wouldn’t that be nice?

“Sexually Deviant Fallen Women” or “Desperate, Misguided, Helpless Victims”?

For as much as society loves to either demonize us or paint us all with the “poor, helpless victim” brush, they sure don’t seem willing to do the one thing that would actually empower us–that would enable us to show that we are so, so much more.

Update as of 3/2017:

I’ve recently come across the writings of Missy Mariposa, a former independent escort-turned-legal brothel worker at Sheri’s Ranch. Her experience at Sheri’s Ranch has been overwhelmingly positive, and doesn’t resemble the restrictive and exploitative environment I imagined. I fully admit my image of brothel work was based on a couple episodes of a reality show I saw way back when, and a few descriptions I had read by workers at another legal brothel in Nevada (not Sheri’s Ranch). Missy has fully embraced brothel work, and she explains why in this post: Why I hung up my heels as an independent and embrace the brothel. Color me enlightened!

Story Time! ~ Annie and The Case of the Missing Gifts

Story time!!!

So, here’s a little story about something that happened way back in 2015.

As many of you know, I moved in early 2015. Well, when I did, I changed the address on my Amazon account, and I assumed that meant the address on my wishlist was changed, too. Nope.

Long story short, right after I realized my error, I saw that 3 items had been purchased from my wishlist: a camera in April and two pairs of shoes. And where were those packages containing generous gifts from my clients delivered to? Yep, my old house.

The next day I was in the neighborhood having a drink with a friend, so I decided to stop by my old place on the way home and ask about my packages. When I knocked on the door a woman answered, and I asked if she had received any packages for Annie. She looked kind of alarmed, then embarrassed, and then she said “Um…hold on…” and shut the door and left me standing on the porch for a few minutes. When she finally returned she said, “Yeah, um…I have your shoes, but I opened the boxes, and…um…well, um–hey, do you want to come in for a drink?”

Of course I accepted, because why the fuck not?

So I’m sitting on her (formerly my) living room floor, drinking her wine, and she’s trying to explain to me why the packages are open, but I’m pretty sure I know. She got someone else’s packages, and since she had no idea how to get in touch with that person, she said “fuck it,” and opened them. I get it. I told her it was totally cool, and curiosity probably would have gotten the better of me, too. She said she was glad I had showed up on her (formerly my) porch because she was having a moral dilemma about what to do with these super cute shoes that were her exact size but that weren’t meant for her. Anyway, hilarity ensued, and we hung out for like 4 hours drinking wine.

At some point her boyfriend came home, and she took me up to her room (the upstairs bedroom, which you can see in my videos…well you could, until YouTube deleted them, because sitting on a bed fully clothed while unwrapping presents is against their prudish policies, I guess). She told me she wanted to hang out with me, but without him, so we went back to the bar for a bit, and then then back to her (formerly my) place again. Her boyfriend was still home, so she found some excuse to show me something upstairs again, and when I got up there, I realized why she was so keen to get me alone.

If she couldn’t steal my shoes, she was gonna steal my heart, I guess.

It was a little awkward, and her boyfriend started calling up the stairs to see what we were up to (I guess he was suspicious), so no, we didn’t get very far. But it was a great ending to an interesting night, and it made for a funny story ;)

So, without further ado, here are the shoes:





It’s actually really hard to take pics of your own shoes, y’all.

And the camera, with which I have taken several dirty polaroid pictures so far ;) Ask me to bring one to our next meeting if you want a souvenir!


None of the gifts came with notes (or perhaps she lost them?), but I know who sent the shoes. I’m not 100% sure who sent the camera, but I have a pretty good idea.


International Sex Workers’ Rights Day 2016!

Today, March 3rd, is International Sex Workers’ Rights Day. I know the day is almost over, but you can still observe ISWRD in a meaningful way, tonight, tomorrow, or any and every day you choose. But how?

If you’re a sex worker (escort, stripper, FBSM massage practitioner, Pro-Domme, Cam Girl, etc.):

Show solidarity with other sex workers–even those who do work you don’t do. End the whorearchy! Don’t make disparaging remarks about sex workers who do work you don’t. For instance, if you’re a dancer, don’t say nasty things about escorts, or girls who do “extras” in the club. If you’re an escort, don’t make disparaging remarks about street workers, etc. We’re all stigmatized; we need to stick together because the rest of society certainly isn’t standing up for us.

If you’re a client:

Meet up with your ATF (All Time Favorite) for a special session, or if you don’t have time for that, buy her something nice from her wishlist (if she has one). Also, don’t participate in whore-bashing. I’m aware that many of you won’t call out your friends when they make “dead hooker” jokes or say shitty things about sex workers. I understand that you have a fear of someone becoming suspicious if you stand up and defend us. That’s OK. You can only do what you can do, and you can’t stop other people from being ignorant pricks. But don’t pile on. Don’t add fuel to the flame. Don’t participate in those kind of jokes–the ones that dehumanize us. Because you know us. You know we’re real people. You don’t have the excuse of ignorance.

And if you’re a real badass, challenge your friends when they say those things. Ask them why they have a problem with women who capitalize on their sexuality. What’s inherently wrong with that? Watch them stammer and shut up ;)

If you’re an ally:

Now, I DO expect you to speak out. You have nothing to hide. Speak up when you hear whorephobic comments and jokes. Don’t allow that shit to happen in your presence. Lots of us can’t speak up. If you care about sex workers’ rights, you will.


Happy 2016 everyone! And happy Mardi Gras! It’s an early one this year…

I’m looking forward to lots of changes this year. Last year was full of changes for me–I moved, made my very first Real Adult Purchase, and experienced the sudden absence of someone very dear to me. Here’s hoping this year is full of new and exciting challenges (instead of dreary, stressful ones, heh).

And it seems to be panning out that way, with the exception of David Bowie’s departure from planet Earth and, presumably, his return to his home planet. He is a starman, after all…

Here are just a few of the cool things that have happened so far this year:

  • I got a new puppy! (My dog is a little miffed that she’s no longer the center of my world, but she likes the new pup anyway)
  • I learned how to change the ignitor/”glow-rod” (lol) on a gas oven!
  • I got a Mckenzie’s king cake and ate almost the whole thing!
  • I got rid of about 1/2 of my stuff and donated it to Bridge House‘s thrift store!
  • I’ve decided to formally expand my services to include domination / BDSM!
  • I got a “work phone” so that clients have another way to reach me when I neglect my email inbox (as I am unfortunately prone to doing when I’m busy with life). If we’ve met previously and you want my number, shoot me an email and I’ll give it to you. For the rest of you, my number will now be available once you’ve passed my screening/verification ;)

Help me out, guys! What would work better than “Calhoun”???

Alsoooooo, I’ve decided it’s time for a name change. I love my first name (Annie), but I’ve never really identified with “Calhoun.” I adopted that surname when I first started working because 1) I used to live on a street adjacent to Calhoun St. in New Orleans, and 2) “Calhoun” is the surname of a couple of New Orleans socialites a friend and I found especially clueless, haha. But I’ve never really felt like it was “my” last name, and though it’s served me well, I’ve lately felt more and more feel like I’ve grown out of it. I’ve considered many sexy alternatives: Mansfield, Minx, Marlowe, Harlow, West, Taylor, Davis, Bancroft (I really, really, REALLY want to be Mrs. Robinson when I grown up…), but I’m having trouble picking one, and I know I’ve thought of a zillion others. I just need someone to narrow it down for me!! Just give me your input, damnit! Help me readers, you’re my only hope! Tell me what sounds sexy!! It kind of reminds me of when I had to pick a name for my dog. I had a list of 57 candidates, and it took me forever to choose the right one, hahah. Thank God this puppy came with a name–the rescue I got her from had already named her, and it’s a name I like.

So…suggestions? You can comment anonymously below…

To clarify: I am NOT changing my first name. I just want to change my last name. Let’s just say I’m a young, sex-starved divorcée and I’ve decided to go back to my maiden name ;)

Change is good!

BTW, if you haven’t seen Duncan Jones’s (he’s David Bowie’s son, FYI) film Moon, you’re missing out. At least, if you’re one of my fellow sci-fi geek friends (and y’all know who you are…). And Kevin Spacey–who I find really, really hot–is in it, so that’s a treat. Watch it! It’s well worth it. You can thank me (or debate me?) later :)

More new pics! In new lingerie!!

Well, here are more new photos of me–this time in new lingerie! I wore a new bra and panty set for these pics :) I said I would do this today, and I’m a woman of my word, so with 7 minutes left before midnight, let’s see if I can get these pics uploaded…


So these were taken the same day as the ones my friend took of me in the shower, but she took these post-pancakes.  I’m terrible at posing, so she had to direct me.  We’ve decided we should do this more often so that I get used to it and learn how to be more creative in front of the camera.  Enjoy!

New Photos taken today!

Sooo a friend of mine came over this morning for pancakes, and we decided to take some photos. Mine were for all of you, and hers were for one lucky, very special boy (or maybe two!). I’m really tired of going through them all and trying to figure out which ones are the “best” ones, so I’m just gonna dump a bunch of them here. So, without further ado, here are a few pics my best friend took of me in the shower this morning, mere moments before we made pancakes:

Stay tuned! We also took some of me in a new lingerie set I got, but I don’t feel like messing with images and watermarks and all that anymore tonight. I’ll upload them tomorrow though…and I won’t be obscured behind a shower curtain, I promise.*

*Though the naughty bits will be partially obscured behind a really sexy bra & panty set. But maybe I’ll let you see what’s underneath if and when we meet ;P

Open Rant to SexWork Prohibitionists Everywhere

OK, I normally don’t show this side of myself here on my blog, but I think it would be disingenuous not to right now, given the recent (August 11th) announcement by Amnesty International that they now officially support decriminalization of all forms of sex work worldwide.  They’ve been discussing this for a while now, much to the chagrin of prostitution prohibitionist groups and the celebrities they’ve convinced to support them (under the guise of the “anti trafficking” cause).

Sidenote:  the term “sex worker” refers to anyone who works in the sex industry:  escorts and courtesans, exotic dancers, cam performers, porn actors/actresses, full service providers, professional companions, pro-dommes, street workers, sensual massage providers, phone sex operators, etc.  The term does not apply to people in the business who do not provide the actual services (strip club managers, porn producers, escort agency owners/managers, etc.).


As a sex worker and an activist, I often run into prohibitionists who are absolutely married to the idea that no woman would ever choose to engage in full service sex work, and that any woman who does engage in it is being exploited by a man–be it her “pimp” or her “john” (yes, they use those words, even though those words aren’t really in widespread use among sex workers themselves).  They see sex work as inherently exploitative to women, and they see women as victims in need of rescue.  I refuse to call these people feminists–anyone who insists on infantilizing women and denying them agency is not a feminist.  Anyone who refuses to help women by working to secure labor rights for all workers is not a feminist.  Anyone who advocates police brutality against and confinement of poverty-stricken women so that they can be “reeducated” and “rehabilitated” into sweatshop workers is. not. a. fucking. feminist.

“But what about the men?”

“But wait,” you say.  “What about male sex workers?  Are they being exploited, too?  And for that matter, what about trans girls (‘TS’ in the biz, or ‘T-girls’)?”

I can answer that in one (sort-of) word:  LOL.

Prohibitionists prefer to ignore the fact that men are also sex workers.  It doesn’t fit their neat, clean predator/victim paradigm.  As for trans women, well…most anti-prostitution prohibitionists don’t consider them women at all.  I’m not sure they even know that trans guys exist.

In their world, there are three kinds of people:

  1. heterosexual, male-assigned-at-birth men
  2. basically asexual female-assigned-at-birth women
  3. “enlightened” prostitution prohibitionists, er, “anti-trafficking activists”

Oh yeah, and then there’s us.  By “us” I mean the people who support sex workers rights, and the rights of all adults to have consensual sex–to share our bodies in one of the most basic, personal, human ways available to us.  This is a basic human right that people of all stripes have been fighting for for years (even in the US, there are states that still have anti-sodomy laws on the books!), and anyone with any sense of logic and/or justice supports that right…except for when it comes to women and the exchange of money, because it’s just plain easier to see the fairer sex as weak, naive, innocent, and pure than to acknowledge that adult women are sexual beings with agency and ideas, desires, needs, and goals independent of men.

The “Pimp Lobby”

And you know what the prohibitionists call us? The “Pimp Lobby.” Because they refuse to believe that we are speaking our minds, or that female providers would actually–gasp!–defend the rights of adults to engage in consensual sex, regardless of the reason. They actually believe that we are “lobbyists” for “pimps.” They believe “pimps” control us sexually, financially, and ideologically. They believe that we are paid or coerced by men to pretend we have chosen this work. I’m not sure how they explain all the research (with sound methodology even!) that points to full decriminalization being the best approach, but I guess denial is a powerful thing. Powerful enough to convince prohibitionists to ignore evidence and soldier on with their mission to force a moralistic view that results in harm to real people.

…Or maybe they don’t really believe it.  Maybe that’s just their way of convincing people to ignore us. Maybe that’s their way of persuading the public to completely disregard what is said by the people actually doing this type of labor–the very people these prohibitionists spend time and energy ostensibly trying to “protect”–since we don’t, in fact, want or need what they say we do.  Pretty sinister.

So yes, you could say I’ve got a lot of pent-up anger for these people.  Especially since they refuse to listen to sex workers who speak out, and instead insist that our voices don’t count because we’re the privileged ones, the exceptions to the rule of poor imprisoned girls who are raped multiple times a day for their pimp’s profit.  Nevermind the illogical nature of this claim (Where are these millions of imprisoned girls?  Why are they never found?  And are there really that many men willing to pay to rape a woman?  As far as I know, the vast majority of rapists just rape–they’re not going to pay another man for something they can do for free.).

“I’m not a sex worker, but I played one in a movie once…”

Anyway, so on an article about all the Hollywood celebrities (some of whom played prostitutes in movies!  So, ya know, they know all about the reality of sex work) who signed an open letter penned by CATW International urging Amnesty International not to adopt any policy that supports the full decriminalization of the sex industry, one particularly stubborn person in the comments section posted a link to a document titled “Prostitution Statistics,” referring to it as “cold, hard facts” (good lord, please take a research methods course, stat):

(Update: As of December 2016, the University of Hawaii has removed that document from their website. It appears that happened sometime within the last year–I don’t want to flatter myself, but I kinda hope someone on their web admin team noticed the sudden uptick in links to that page, which appeared to be nothing more than some undergrad’s improperly-sourced, slapped-together assignment. Too bad they didn’t do that before it was cited as a legitimate source by various nonprofits all over the internet. Still, if you’re interested, here’s an archived copy of it via the Wayback Machine.)

I couldn’t help myself.  I went on a rant and couldn’t stop, and it became a rant to every and any of these people I’ve encountered or will encounter EVER.  And here it is:

Oh, honey…those are not “facts,” much less cold, hard ones.

I’m sorry, this is going to sound incredibly condescending, but what’s your education level? Because no one who knows a damn thing about research would post that link in an attempt to gain footing in an argument. That looks like an undergrad’s report on prostitution, sourced entirely from hooker rescue projects and modern “white slavery” hysteria. How the hell would they even come up with “Most prostitutes have been victimized, at some point in their lives, by sexual violence. More than 90% suffered childhood sexual abuse…” What? And really, why would that be the focus of anyone’s research? What would that accomplish? How would that help anyone? Sex workers don’t need to justify their reasons for engaging in consensual sex; their government needs to justify its reasons for criminalizing consensual sex between adults.

And this: “At least 2/3 of prostitutes began working in prostitution before the age of 16” has been thoroughly debunked. The origins of that (and other similar “stats” you’ll hear, like “The average age of entry into prostitution is between 12 and 14”) are hard to track down, but as far as we can tell, they originate from a survey done in the early 80s with a very small sample size of participants taken exclusively from a program that worked with minors who had exchanged money for sexual services. As in, everyone participating in the survey was under 18, because that’s who the program/facility was there to serve. And then they averaged those numbers, claimed they were representative of the experiences of sex workers in general, or someone else misunderstood them. So the highest possible age of entry would be 17. Of course the average would be low. They never asked any adult sex workers their age of entry. And the media, law enforcement, advocacy groups, and people like you have been running with that number for 30 fucking years.

What you don’t understand is that your view of sex workers shows a fundamental disrespect for women. When someone’s oppressed, you don’t help them by infantilizing them; you help them by arming them with rights, and by supporting them in their fight for those rights. You don’t want people to be exploited for their labor? You support them in their fight for labor rights, fair pay, legal protection, etc. I said it before, but maybe you didn’t catch it: no one gives a shit about all the human trafficking going on in agriculture, fishing, construction, and hotel housekeeping companies, but let’s say they did. You don’t want women slaving away, cleaning hundreds of toilets for 18 hours a day, while their boss holds their papers and their paychecks, all to pay some “debt” to a “job recruiter”? Let’s talk about immigration policy. Let’s talk about fair wages and labor laws. That’s what we’re talking about, after all: exploiting sex workers for their sexual labor. You don’t want women to have to have sex with men they don’t want to have sex with and then be forced to hand over their earnings to an abusive “pimp”? Fine. Decriminalize their work so that they don’t need “protection” (in the form of an abusive man who makes them work all day and takes their money) from police. And decriminalize their clients so they don’t need “protection” from, say, a man who can rest assured his victim won’t go to police to report him, and even if she did, she wouldn’t know his name, anyway. When your work and your clients aren’t criminalized, you can easily “screen” your clients before meeting with them—your client won’t be afraid to disclose identifying info because he’s not afraid of being arrested for meeting with you. You can also employ a bodyguard or driver without your client freaking out and thinking you’ve brought some dude there to kick his ass and rob him (because, when you and your client are not committing a criminal act, you can assume that both of you are law-abiding citizens, especially if you’ve screened him in advance), and without you AND said bodyguard/driver fearing that cops will mistake him for a “pimp.”

I understand you’re fighting what you think is the good fight. Apparently, at some point in your life, you joined up with some rescue project and did some “work” that seemed incredibly important and life-affirming to you at the time. I don’t want to take that away from you—for all I know, you helped some people. But if you care about justice in the world, you will continue to educate yourself about the issues you claim to care about, no matter how much it hurts to find out you’re wrong. Decrim is the safest thing for all of us. Not just me (or other women you dismiss as “too privileged” to know anything about the business we’ve worked in for years). For ALL of us.

There is no dichotomy of “happy hooker” and “sex slave forced to endure rape for someone else’s profit.” This topic is incredibly complex and nuanced. No, not everyone enjoys sex work. No, not everyone finds it empowering. No, not everyone would choose something else were it available (I wouldn’t). Yes, some of us were sexually abused as children (as were many teachers, lawyers, home makers, doctors, social workers, etc…). Yes, some of us started very young (though most of us start when we’re in our 30s or 40s). The point is that it doesn’t matter what our individual situations are, criminalization hurts ALL of us. And yes, that includes the Nordic model.

I get where you’re coming from, though. When I first started working, I heard about the Nordic model, and honestly, I thought it sounded pretty damn good. I hadn’t been working long enough to understand how the business really works, and I sure as hell hadn’t discovered the sex workers’ rights movement. I was still indoctrinated with the media images and the statistics gleaned from sloppy, often unethical research. I didn’t have a “pimp,” and I didn’t know anyone who did, but I still assumed that the vast majority of sex workers were being forced to fuck dozens of men a day while some evil bastard kept their money and beat them for fun. So yeah, the Nordic model sounded awesome. Put those evil, money-grubbing fuckers in jail!

While I didn’t have a “pimp,” when I first started escorting, I did have a “manager.” He was the guy who answered the phone and directed clients to one of the 10 or 15 girls at the agency. We set our own prices, and we spent as many hours as we wanted with each client. We sent him $100 for each client he referred to us. I didn’t even meet him in person until maybe 3 months after I started working for him, and by then I was already preparing to strike out on my own as an independent.

Did you catch the fact that my manager would have counted as one of those “evil, money-grubbing fuckers” I imagined getting their due via the Nordic Model? I didn’t. Did you catch that I was, if you go by the definition of the loudest voices in this conversation, a “trafficking victim”? I didn’t catch that, either. I would NEVER claim to be one, but by THEIR definition—one of the many absurd ways prostitution prohibitionists define “trafficked”—I was a trafficking victim. They count all third parties as traffickers. If you are a sex worker helping to support your unemployed/unemployable/just f-in broke partner, non-minor child, or other adult family member who lives with you, that person can be considered a trafficker. If you are a migrant worker who voluntarily crosses borders to work independently, you are counted as a trafficking victim.

Soon after that, I realized how wrong I was. But I admit I had a weird, visceral reaction to letting go of my “Jail the pimps!! Go after them!” position. I sort of wanted to cling to it. I don’t know why. Did I enjoy the boogeyman simplicity? Maybe. Or was I just trying to avoid the feeling of finding out I’d been had? I’m not sure. But I guess that’s what happens when you learn more about a subject, and you realize that the facts contradict what you’ve always thought to be true—what sources you’ve trusted have always told you was true.

And the longer I’ve been in the biz, and the longer I’ve been an activist for sex workers’ rights, the more I’ve learned. There’s tons of data. There’s a reason Amnesty International, the World Health Organization and the Global Alliance Against Traffic in Women support us. And honestly, if you were to work in this business, you’d understand that common sense supports us.

The truth is, this is a very, very old problem steeped in racism and xenophobia. In the 1910s they referred to it as White Slavery (see the Mann Act), and now it’s sex trafficking. Nevermind the fact that there are more than enough willing sex workers that there’s really no need to force women into it (I hate talking about supply and demand, because it’s so much more complex than that, but in the simplest of terms, the supply already meets the demand. Trust me, usually people are whining about how they aren’t getting enough business). And nevermind the fact that, even if supply didn’t meet demand, people don’t want to pay to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with them. Rapists don’t pay to rape people; rapists just rape. But we cling to this idea that there are zillions of women all over the world being kidnapped, drugged, and forced into prostitution while men profit. Why, even though the numbers (upon inspection, and not just taken at face value) show us that this isn’t true? Well, because a lot of people have a vested interest in keeping this moral panic alive. Follow the money: it usually leads to those pushing an agenda centered on female “purity,” or those who are directly profiting, i.e., the rescue industry (Hey there, Somaly Mam!).

Please, please just stop talking about this until you’ve taken the time to listen to sex workers all over the world (Even in Eastern Europe and SE Asia!). Because you know the way you feel about your perspective? Like it’s a desperate situation and you have to fight, fight, fight for those who are in danger, are suffering injustices, and have far less privilege than you do? Yeah, that’s how I feel, too. Except people listen to you, and I’m the one who will have to deal with the consequences. They hurt me, they hurt my friends, and they hurt people all over the world every day. You’ll be able to walk away thinking you accomplished something, score 1 for the good guys, etc., and you’ll never have to look back, and you’ll never have to fully comprehend the mess you’ve made. And you’ll leave us to clean up, and then you’ll wonder why we’re so fucking angry with you.

BTW, it may not please you to know that sex workers in poor, “developing” countries can and do organize for their rights, but it’s true! And look what they have to say about decrim! Listen to them!)

And here’s more on “supply” and “demand,” in case it interests you. Here’s one on myths about sex trafficking and sex work (mostly about the Olympics, the World Cup, the Superbowl, and other major sports events being huge attractions for sex traffickers, etc., but there’s a lot of other good stuff in there, too) I found pretty fascinating too when I first got started on my mission to kick ass and take names until hookers all over the world are free to hook safely.

And here’s a flippin’ awesome rant about the rescue industry and two of the biggest figures in it (Nikolas Kristoff and Somaly Mam).


And of course I got no response.  I never do.


Via Ava Grace in Brisbane:

And here’s a little bit of perfection from Ava St. Claire:

More unexpected kindness and generosity from clients…


I came home a couple weeks ago (I know, I know, I’m really behind on blogging) to find these gifts had arrived in the mail. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that they were from an incredibly sweet client I’ve been corresponding with.

Just in case you can’t see in the image: it’s John Fowles’s The French Lieutenant’s Woman, and herb garden seeds that I had just added to my Amazon wish list. What a nice surprise. And I have the perfect sunny window for an herb garden in my new place :) I’ll take pics when they start looking like actual herbs, lol.

Oh! And if you get a chance, and you’re so inclined, please show some kindness and generosity to the woman in Charleston, WV who shot and killed Neal Falls (a man now thought to be a serial killer responsible for the deaths of at least 9 escorts) in self defense.
(Update: Fundraiser now over, thanks!!)