Love the Ones You’re With – Bra Sizes Meme, Improved

Today I saw this stupid post going around facebook:

Stupid meme about boobs and bra sizes
Stupid meme about boobs and bra sizes

Look, I know it’s supposed to be funny, but damn, the shit that passes for “funny” nowadays…ugh. Did you ACTUALLY laugh out loud at that?? I’m guessing not, because there’s nothing particularly witty or clever or comical about it. It’s just a list of cup sizes with corresponding unimaginative, mostly negative descriptors, and the “punchline” is a reference to a 25-year-old infomercial for a safety device marketed to disabled and/or geriatric individuals.

And, as of right now, it’s been “shared” 230,989 times. 230,989!!! That means 230,989 people thought this was funny enough to repost so that all their family and friends and coworkers and ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, etc. could enjoy it. Wow.

But it’s kind of thought-provoking, too. None of the descriptors are really positive.

Stupid Bra Sizes Meme Exposed

  • The first two (“A – Almost boobs” and “B – barely boobs”) are decidedly negative.
  • The third (“C – can’t complain”) might as well just say “meh, they don’t make me puke.”
  • The next two (“D – dang” and “DD – double dang”) might be positive, and they’re probably meant to be read as a positive assessment of the bosoms in question. But it’s still not exactly praise–I mean, I said “dang” the last time I saw a knocked-down stoplight on Canal Street. I was impressed, sure, but not in the “Wow, that’s amazing, and I can’t wait to bury my face in it!!!” way that I would be upon seeing an attractive set of D or DD breasts (or, for that matter, an attractive set of breasts of any size), but in the “Whoa, that’s shocking, and I hope no one got hurt” way.
  • The next (“E – Enormous”) is neither positive nor negative.
  • Then comes the inevitably disparaging judgement (“F – fake”) of women who choose to surgically enhance their breasts in accordance with what society tells us we SHOULD look like (never forget: we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t, ladies).
  • On the other hand, women with breasts just one size larger than F are encouraged to undergo major surgery with a significant recovery period (“G – get a reduction”).  What a demanding perfectionist this list-maker must be.
  • And last but not least, women with Hs are the “punchline” of the joke. Har de har har.

Who makes this stuff up, and who thinks it’s funny? People who hate boobs? Young boys who are angry that no woman in her right mind will let him see her boobs? Women who are…angry at their boobs for some reason?

But but but but….BOOBS ARE GREAT!!! Boobs are fun! Boobs of all sizes are a splendorous gift of wonder to those allowed the privilege of seeing/touching/enjoying them.

I get that it’s always hilarious to mock women’s bodies (this is sarcasm, ladies and gentlemen), but I personally think women’s bodies (mine especially!) make life a hell of a lot more pleasurable. Well, for women and their partners, anyway, heh. I suppose strictly-gay men aren’t all that thrilled by boobs, but who knows, maybe some of them occasionally get kinky like that.

So, I made up my own list:

Bra Sizes Meme, Improved

  • AA – Adorable & Adequate!
  • A – Alluring
  • B – Bodacious (tatas)
  • C – Captivating
  • D – Deluxe
  • DD – Double Deluxe
  • E – Exceptional
  • F – Fffffffffffffffffffffff…those are impressive
  • G – Gifted
  • H – Hallelujah

I’m gonna make a quick and dirty meme and see if even ONE person shares it.

If I could get 1/10th of the “shares” as that ridiculously unfunny original one did, I swear I would legally change my name to Boobie Boobzanne McBooberson-O’Boobs (I’m apparently of Irish/Scottish descent).

I love boobs - bra sizes meme improved = AA - Adorable & Adequate! A - Alluring B - Bodacious (tatas) C - Captivating D - Deluxe DD - Double Deluxe  E - Exceptional F - Fffffffffffffffffffffff...those are impressive G - Gifted H - Hallelujah
I love boobs – “Bra Sizes” meme improved

That said, bra sizes are so arbitrary anyway. Sometimes I’m a 34C, sometimes a 32C (once even a D!), etc. And guess what size this “bra” is??

Size Small. And I assure you, my boobs are not.

(OK so yes, I was wearing it as a tube top this summer, but it’s marketed as a “bra.”)

2 Replies to “Love the Ones You’re With – Bra Sizes Meme, Improved”

  1. B’s & C’s are Sublime… I like smaller Women where B’s & C’s are absolutely appropriate and fitting!

    I am a longtime NOLA Area guy who ran away after Katrina , who continued to pass thru regularly, until Aug 2015, when the Oilfield couldn’t afford me anymore :-(. I now, cum thru town somewhat/kinda regularly, but without predictable schedule any longer. I have been an admirer of your’s ever since first online sight!! Your prose and apparent wit are as much of a turn-on, as is your delicious little shape!!

    I would like to think we might be able to meet and play together someday. . .I am getting older (60), but I still adore the female form of mind and body!! ;-)~~

    1. Hey, thanks for the awesome comment! And I agree, Bs and Cs are indeed sublime ;)

      Age ain’t nothin’ but a number. I’d love to get together with you someday when you’re in town!

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