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Awww…I love making my clients happy ;)

I saw a really sweet, fun gentleman on Friday. “I’m going to leave a review for you,” he said. “On your blog.”

First, read the review he left me, because it’s adorable (then you can read the explanation of why it’s on my blog and not, say, ECCIE or TER.).:

Doc on May 29, 2015 at 5:29 pm said:

Annie this a recent praise email. Put it in your blog if you want. Thank you Annie for a great date today . While I do not need the down and dirty parts of reviews on Exccie or TER, I am still reluctant to meet someone without recent reviews. I do like an intelectual escort and you are that. In addition to a great brain, you have a sexy, talented, educated body.
Doc

Doc on May 29, 2015 at 5:33 pm said:

Forgot to put in praise that I am glad that I didn’t let lack of of recent reviews deter me.

He said he was at first hesitant to contact me because I don’t have reviews (but he was glad he did, I promise!). I do have a “discreet reviews only” policy–I have no problem with clients letting each other know that I’m safe and reputable (and sexy and awesome). But my client lamented the fact that most of the review sites won’t allow non-explicit reviews. If you don’t include graphic details and descriptions, they won’t publish it on the site. So basically, it’s: “Either write erotic nonfiction about your time with Annie, or don’t write about her at all.”

The review sites state that their purpose is to provide clients with information about providers that will help them to make informed choices when scheduling a date with an escort they’ve never met with before. However, a lot of us really don’t want graphic details flying around on the internet about what we have and haven’t done with our clients. We all have our reasons, and I can’t speak for everyone. Personally, I don’t allow graphic reviews because:

  1. I pride myself on my ability to be discreet before, during, and after meeting with a client.

  2. I do not believe it’s wise, from a legal standpoint, to allow people to publish accounts of what we’ve done together, especially since I have no control over how much they tell, or if what they write is even accurate. I’m very careful about keeping my work legit and legal, but I know that, whether I want to believe it or not, not everyone will take the necessary precautionary measures when they “kiss and tell” to the other boys. It’s not really worth the risk, I feel.

  3. Come on. What if I want to run for congress someday??! ;)

Escort review sites’ “explicit-reviews-only” policies (presumably put in place to collect as much info as possible about escorts so that the site can then supply a wealth of information about each escort to the potential clients), ultimately decrease the amount of information clients can learn about the pool of available escorts in a given area.

Why? Because when you add the number of escorts that don’t want explicit reviews on the internet (which effectively excludes them from the review system altogether) to the number of guys who don’t want to write porn in their spare time (or porn-tastic descriptions of intimate time spent with a lovely, intelligent, entertaining, funny, enchanting vixen-for-hire ::wink wink::), you get a pretty big number of reviews that aren’t being written. Reviews that could be providing relevant information to hesitant clients. Information that might not be as entertaining as porn-style kiss-and-tell braggadocio, but is useful nonetheless. Information like, say:

  • Are the escort’s pictures accurate? Is she the person she pitches herself to be in her ads and on her website?

  • Did she show an acceptable level of professionalism (i.e., did she show up on time, did she graciously accept the previously-agreed-upon rate without trying to hustle more out of the client)?

  • Was she appropriately discreet?

  • Did she appear to be in good health?

  • Did she behave responsibly behind closed doors? (I don’t know, some euphemism for “The escort did not insist on riding bareback” etc.)

  • While in the company of this escort, did you ever feel your safety was at risk?

  • Would you recommend this escort to other clients?

If escort review sites would allow non-explicit reviews (come on y’all–this is a gold mine of an idea for somebody out there…hell, maybe I’ll do it!), clients might not know every detail about what that particular escort has done with her past clients, but many who are on-the-fence would know enough to make a decision they won’t regret.

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More Client Questions: What’s in a name?


…and the questions keep coming! Got one? Bring it. nolacourtesan@gmail.com

1. Why Annie Calhoun? Did you use the “first name of pet,” “name of the street you grew up on” system?

Nope. If I’d have done that, I’d have a pretty funny name indeed.

I’ve always loved the movie Groundhog Day, and Andie MacDowell plays the leading lady. I LOVE her, and I love her in that movie. Something about her manner is just so adorable and sexy and clever. I love the name “Andie,” but there was already a girl in town using that name, so I chose Annie instead. And for some reason, Annie seemed to fit me better, anyway.

My last name is a bit more complicated.

Let me rewind a bit: I’m terrible at making decisions that I know I’ll have to stick with. When I was picking out a name for my dog, I was working from a list of 47 names, hahahah. So, when I was deciding on a last name for myself, I was at a loss. The worst part was, I had to come up with something fast, because I wanted to start posting ads and creating a website and profiles, etc. What a ridiculous thing to stress about, right? But stress I did.

So, my last name has two sources: 1) It’s inspired by a running joke. A friend and I used to get a real kick out of reading about a couple of absurdly out-of-touch New Orleans socialites, and that’s one of their family names. 2.) “Calhoun” is the name of a street in Uptown New Orleans. I was driving down S. Claiborne Ave one day, and I saw the sign for Calhoun St., and I thought, “Eh, that’s as good a name as any.”

And, just as I’d feared, I’m stuck with a name I don’t really like. Well, I love “Annie,” and I feel it suits me really well. But “Calhoun” just doesn’t really seem…right. I feel like there’s something that would work better, but there’s not much I can do about it now, so I guess that’s that.

2. Master of Fine Arts?

Yep. They call that an MFA. I also have an MA. And two BAs. Ask me what they’re in–but only once we’ve met in person.

3a. Why don’t you screen people by physical attractiveness? I know I would, and it seems like you’re successful enough to take that liberty.

This is a great question. The truth is, I really don’t think asking people to submit photos for screening would be very useful. I have trouble gauging physical attractiveness before I’ve spent a few minutes with someone. People don’t realize all of the factors that go into attraction–physical appearance, sure, but then there’s mannerisms, voice, intelligence, sense of humor (that’s a huge factor for me), etc. Also, even if I could judge attractiveness based on a single photo, there are many, many people who are super photogenic, but once you meet them, you think, “meh” (I know we’ve all experienced this, now that we’re in the age of Facebook, Match.com, etc.).

3b. Is it easier to be with people that you’re not physically attracted to? It seems like building intimacy can be a double edged sword, in that you could enjoy your work too much so that it spills over to your personal life. Having less attractive “friends” seems like a convenient way to prevent that type of situation.

Nope, it never spills over into my personal life, regardless of physical attraction (or lack thereof). This is a very specific type of relationship. It’s clearly delineated–there are very, very clear boundaries that we all know to respect. My personal life is completely separate from the time I share with my clients.

Sidenote: Who has enough money floating around to give you a $500 Amazon gift card? Well done.

I’ll never tell (and he actually gave me two).

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Client Questions: Unique Requests & Standard Worries – New Orleans Escort

This morning I woke up to the enchanting sounds of my dog vomiting next to my bed. I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve had better mornings.

But! Scroll down to check out what came in the mail! That made this day much better. Now, someone invite me over, and you can see it in person!

In other news, I’m still getting lots of questions via email. The latest was kind of absurd, but at least it was entertaining:

Hi Annie,

I don’t see myself as a potential client, so I won’t be offended if you don’t continue reading.

Well, at least he’s honest.

Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciated your “No digital breadcrumbs” entry. I’ve struggled with the idea of verification, especially given that I’m not looking for the conventional experience. Have you ever had clients that were not interested in sex or a girlfriend experience (e.g. kissing), but just in seeing you unclothed? If you haven’t, would that immediately throw up a giant red flag?

My response:

Potential clients contact me for a variety of reasons, and not all of them are interested in sex or any of the little things generally included in “the girlfriend experience.” So, to answer your question, no, that would not be a red flag. However, most clients don’t really talk about that in the initial email, so I probably wouldn’t know that that’s what they’re looking for until I meet with them. But I’m a people-pleaser, so as long as the request isn’t for something dangerous or something that I believe is just plain wrong, I’m more than happy to tailor our sessions to satisfy my clients’ unique and varied desires.

Annie

And then I got a second email from him:

Hey Annie,

Thanks for the insight. I have a follow-up type question that you might answer if you find yourself bored at work (which I obviously often do). I am a pretty cautious person with a relatively creative imagination. In my imagination, if I met with an escort (for any reason), they would have at least some of my contact info. I would definitely select someone who was careful and intelligent, and such a person would be likely to hang on to that info. I trust that person would not freely give that info away, but would still save it for any number of rainy day scenarios (some of which involving the police). As a result, someday I get a phone call or a knock on the door. Do you ever see a scenario like that playing out in real life?

In my reply, I address a few of the things he’d said:

“In my imagination, if I met with an escort (for any reason), they would have at least some of my contact info.”

Yep.

“I would definitely select someone who was careful and intelligent, and such a person would be likely to hang on to that info.”

Perhaps. Many escorts regularly delete their emails. Some delete the ones with sensitive/identifying information.

“I trust that person would not freely give that info away, but would still save it for any number of rainy day scenarios (some of which involving the police).”

Why the hell would an escort SAVE your contact info for the police? Come on, man. That doesn’t even make sense.

“As a result, someday I get a phone call or a knock on the door.”

From whom? The police? Because you may or may not have spent time with an escort at some point? An email is not proof that you’ve met the provider, nor is it proof that you’ve exchanged money for sex. You may have discussed exchanging money for time, but that’s perfectly legal.

“Do you ever see a scenario like that playing out in real life?”

LOL, no. I don’t.

…or are you afraid the knock/phone call will be from the escort you contacted? Look, I can’t speak for everyone, but I will say that I don’t know anyone in this business who would just suddenly decide to stop by the home of someone who was once a client. If you do get a phone call, it’s probably because she forgot to delete your number in her phone, and “butt-dialed” you.

If you’re afraid of shady characters doing ridiculous things to endanger your safety and privacy, do your research and don’t meet with shady characters. That’s what we do. Why else do you think we screen our clients before meeting with them?


new orleans escort annie pretty blue lace bra 2There you have it, dear readers. No, we don’t plan on stopping by your house in a few months or a few years or, well, ever. We have our own lives; we don’t sit around all day brainstorming ways to ruin some random guy’s life. Sorry to bust the myth of the crazed lunatic escort hell-bent on destroying every life in her path, leaving divorced, destitute men in her wake. :(

And worst case scenario, let’s pretend a gentleman was crass and reckless and ignorant enough to offer a lady money for sex. That would be considered solicitation, which is a misdemeanor in Louisiana. Do police generally go knocking on people’s doors based only on the fact that they found an email in which the person in question discussed the possibility of committing a misdemeanor crime? Maybe, maybe not. But I can’t say I’ve heard of that happening lately. Still, it’s best to use your head (you know which one I’m talking about!), do your research, and behave accordingly.

…After all, what’s worse: missing out on a lot of fun, or having to do a little homework every once in a while?

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The Owl Flies at Midnight: Another Employment Verification Option

The questions about screening never end, and sometimes my clients give me fantastic ideas. For instance, the following client proposed a new way for me to screen clients via employment info, without asking them to send emails from their work email account:

Good afternoon Annie. I love all the information you are providing. Your blog is a valuable resources for those who have little to no experience, such as myself.

While I find your email verification idea promising, do you think one would find it acceptable to send an email to a clients work address then at which time the individual could in turn copy said contents of the email and respond with the message from their personal email. The reason being, some businesses track the majority of their emails and by responding to the email being sent to the their work address could sacrifice anonymity for the client.

Thank you in advance for any reply. You are fantastic.

Here’s my reply:

So, if I’m understanding you correctly, what you mean is that the escort would send an email to ClientsName@clientsemployer.com that said something like this:

Hi there,

The owl flies at midnight.

Thanks!

Then, instead of emailing her back from your work email (ClientsName@ClientsEmployer.com), you would use your regular personal email account to send her a message that looks something like this:

Dear Escort’sName,

I got your email at my work account. The message it contained was “The owl flies at midnight.”

Hope to hear from you soon,
Client’sName

This would mean that:

  1. Because you were able to tell her the unique, un-guessable message her email contained, the escort would know that you have access to that account, so therefore you must be the real Daniel Lastname, and

  2. You did this without responding to her from your work account, so there was never a back-and-forth email conversation going through your employer’s server. That way, if your employer is monitoring your email conversations, you can always say, “Yeah, I got that weird email, but I didn’t know what it was about and I didn’t recognize the name of the person who sent it, so I just ignored it. You mean that was a female escort??? Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!!! What did she want with me?!? I’ve never contacted an escort in my life! Shoot, I didn’t even know they existed! I thought they were a myth! Like unicorns and Santa Claus and politicians with integrity!!” etc. etc. etc.

Yes, this type of loophole would work for me. And what a creative solution it is!